Recensioni recenti di sencative grammer experrt

this game is putrid. this game is garbage. this game is s­h­it. this game is horrible. this game blows. this game is absolutely positively wretched. this game is not at all worth playing

do you like clicking s­hit? does the thought of clicking s­hit with a bunch of slobbering hysterical m­orons armed with report buttons and stubborn ret­ard belligerency appeal to you? do you like pressing buttons on your keyboard? do you like the thought of being unable to click s­hit or push buttons because a slobbering hysterical m­oron reported you for politely suggesting that they should stop auto-attacking creeps or aren't equipped to handle mid or shouldn't be building Battle Fury on Drow? do you like getting frustrated and abandoning all pretense of polite suggestions? do you want to register parachute steam accounts so you can pop off at ret­ards and not give a s­hit if they report you? do you like dota? then you'll love this

Do you like Qix? Do you like hex-editing those porno Qix clones on MAME so you can see the hot anime boob? Do you like squinting? Do you like medieval music? Do you like cheap ass games? Well then come hither, prithee milud, to this Qix clone with admittedly-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥' medieval music where you have to squint to figure out what the ♥♥♥♥ is going on and the whole thing is literally just Qix / those porno Qix clones that are balls-hard and you have to load cheats in order to survive long enough to see the hot anime boob. Fair thee well milady lover chav two bob for a pack of bloody crisps on the tube guvna get hit by a sodding lorry or whatever

(testo della recensione nascosto)

Do you like AaAaAA!!! - A Reckless Disregard for Gravity? Do you wish it was easier? Do you wish there was less to do? Do you wish the cool level names were replaced with "City #"? Do you wish it integrated a music player so you didn't have to alt-tab to whatever horrible music player you use that isn't foobar2000, the superior + best music player that I use to play my music on my computer? Then hoOooOooOOOooO BOY you're in for a real treat here.

This game has been "in progress" or whatever for two years and here's the entire gameplay experience:

1) Pick level. If you pick the first two levels, skip to #5. If you pick the third level, skip to #4.
2) Wait for the file browser to load. For whatever damn idiot reason, the game decides to scan the ID3v2 tags, which means that just displaying a single album's worth of songs can take about thirty seconds, and if you have one folder full of music then you're in for a real doozy of a wait.
3) Pick a song you want to listen to.
4) Wait about a minute for the game to load the level.
5) Use the mouse to move around the level. Use the mouse buttons to rotate your field of view.
5a) If a tall building is on the bottom of your field of view, your multiplier goes up and you get about 5 points per tick.
5b) If you pass within range of a small building asteroid field, you get (100 x M) points per small building, where M = your current multiplier.
5c) Occasionally the colors pulse, and for about 10% of songs you may notice the buildings being "built" around you at roughly the same pace as the beat.
6) Collect your score and your "followers" (score / 1,000). Followers can be used for lots of things, such as "absolutely nothing".
7) After you unlock the first four levels, the game really opens up, as now you can play the fifth city in any order you wish.
8) There are only five "levels" in the game and three of them are various forms of simplified tutorials.

Two years of "early access" for this. Oh and they just opened up the scripting editor, so you can muck about there and maybe the game will build a spiral ramp in response to a certain portion of a song instead of a building asteroid field. Or maybe not.

Not sure if there were more levels at an earlier stage of the game, but considering the leaderboards are entirely empty I'm willing to believe the people with the "beat level 15" achievement just used an Achievement Manager.

On the plus side, "Future Shock" is a really good song and whoever does the voiceover may well be the only chick in the history of indie games to actually know how to read lines without sounding like a terrified dyslexic shut-in with a gun to her head. So credit where credit is due.

You know what's cool? Buying a game that seems decently fun, seeing a "register your name <THIS CANNOT BE CHANGED!>" screen, trying to type, and having the game decide that what I -meant- to type was "space space <submit>". It's even cooler when the game devs don't seem to have a publically-posted email address and insist that all tech support questions go through the hornet's nest of social media.

Score another point for indie ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ coding. sm ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ h.

Okay, in case you're like the one person who hasn't already made up their mind about this game: One extremely classic level, two hours of tedium to get to the classic level, generally weak script with a few inspired moments here and there, -horrible- voice-acting (talented voices, but it's like none of them read the script before recording their lines so they don't have any idea what words they're supposed to emphasize), glitchy engine, mediocre camera, generally-repetitive music with a few cute musical quotations here and there, wretchedly-poor final level, not worth more than $2.50 at most. Thanks for reading. Bye

dahh durr lets make a puzzle game based primarily on rhythm when beat detection is still in its infancy. hurf durf dahhhhhh sounds like a great plan fellow indie game designer. really sticking it to EA here, lmao. dahh.

seriously tho the beat detection is so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awful that it's basically reduced to a puzzle game based on split-second reflexes with a built-in mp3 player.

(testo della recensione nascosto)

Say what you will about Duke Nukem Forever, but at least it didn't compromise the original off-color world of Duke to appease the self-appointed Arbiters of Morality at the ESRB. E-rated Sam and Max is like X-rated Disney, except without the lasting cultural impact of seeing Eeyore stuff himself into Princess Jasmine's gaping ♥♥♥♥. The only reason to bother with this dull exercise in mediocre voice acting, tepid writing, and simplistic yet tedious puzzles vanished once they stopped giving the TF2 preorder bonus.