Some of you might be surprised to learn I am something of a scientist myself. Literally. I make radioactive cancer drugs. So I know science. I do science. I explain science. I know an Erlenmeyer from a Mass Spectrometer. I need to. Science is great for the things you can't touch, like radiation. I try to, don't get me wrong, I've seen the Incredible Hulk. But Health Physics want to horde all those sweet gamma rays to themselves, so I don't get to touch the radiation or the bacteria or anything small and cool. So I need to use science on that. Cause I can't touch it, smell it, or lick it. Same with stars, or genes, or ligma. Can't grab any of those and shake them back and forth in your hand to find out all you need to know. Perfect application of science. You know what I can touch though? Or lick? Or throw off a roof? A barbell. I don't need no science if I can just grab the thing. (1/3)

Feelies over Theories nom' sayin? You think I did quadratic calculus to figure out how many plates were equivalent to one fire hydrant? No. I picked it up and said 'Yup 5'll do'er'. And 5 did'er. While you were busy writing down a hypothesis to figure out if the hydrant would even stay on the bar I was already picking it up. Same goes for all of lifting. I can pick up some bars, why should I read a paper about it. They didn't even do the study on me. I'm built different. Did you factor in that variable, egghead? I bet none of your textbooks told you that you can do a extra double dog dare deficit t-bar yoink with municipal plumbing, did they. You can read all about it in my abstract. (2/3)

Hell, even Issac Newton was just checking apples out of a tree, probably after hoisting some sick loads in those poofy pants. And he discovered gravity. Really good thing he did cause can you imagine how many babies were lost to space because thier parents forgot to strap them down? I'm sure some of them are half way to Alpha Centauri by now. If Isaac was smart he would have set a massive Deadlift world record before finding the gravity but he was probably still a pencilneck at heart. (3/3)

Hi, this is Bob Ross communicating from beyond the grave. I dedicated my life to painting so that you brats could do something more productive with your lives than sitting on your ass playing your stupid Atari games all day. I don't appreciate you morons abusing my legacy and turning me into some childish meme that you can spam on your little MSM chat thing. Now go paint a mountain or something and don't you dare copypaste this

To not honk the clown horn is an easy, convenient task and one which we all recognize as the correct, appropriate thing to do. The not honking of the clown horn is objectively right. There are no situations including dire emergencies in which a person should honk the clown horn. Simultaneously, it is not illegal to honk the clown horn. Therefore the clown horn presents itself as the apex example of whether a person will do what is right without being forced to do it. No one will punish you for honking the clown horn, no one will fine you or kill you for honking the clown horn, you gain nothing by not honking the clown horn. You must not honk the clown horn out of the goodness of your heart. You must not honk the clown horn because it is the right thing to do. Because it is correct.

The clown horn is what determines whether a person is a good or bad member of society.

Conan's Dragunov was a huge blow, if that happened on LAN I think I would be haunted by this memory until the end of time, but I believe since it happened online it's been out of my head. I remember the following day I had to go meet my girlfriend's parents for the first time and I remember at about 08:00 when she woke up I told her I never went to bed, I was just laying there for like 9 hours and all I could think of was Conan down+2ing me