Recent reviews by Uchiha Naruto

still not available to buy in my country


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DEMOCRACY SAW US THROUGH!!

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PSN account???

this game makes vigilantism unnecessarily complicated. to do SO MUCH and yet ACHIEVE SO LITTLE. all i want to do is kick ass and be a cool member of the batfam, and i still have to worry about crafting and elements like?? arkham didn't have to do that cr*p to be amazing. i'm finishing the game only out of spite this many hours in. g*d.

lmao keep killing the medic why don't you

Playtime at the time of writing this review (14 May 2020): 73 hours. have not played the second DLC yet.

TLDR; play it if you like micromanaging / farming games. If you hate grindy games, skip it. I mean, yeah I could recommend it because why not? The story was interesting and it was fun. But it's just way too grindy. Like, you'll lose focus and direction grindy because you don't even know what your original goal was, because you're grinding so many things at the same time for so long just to achieve one thing.

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Game Stats: 484 graveyard points, 70 church points, 81 tavern points, 91 Gold, 15 or so zombies, +/- 2k red points, +/- 1500 green points, +/- 500 blue points, did not unlock all the technologies.

Mods used: Faster Craft, Increase Inventory, Infinite Energy, Inflation Mod, No Cooldown Teleport, Sprint

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Okay, so I finished the Graveyard Keeper (discounted at 4 or 5 bucks), together with its two DLCs, Breaking Bad (free) and Stranger Sins (6 bucks). Overall for that price it’s pretty good.

Spoilers ahead, of course. Oh, and very long rant if you’re up for the read.

So it starts with you going to a store to pick up some groceries, then you look at your phone while crossing he street and it’s you love calling, and because you didn’t look both ways before steeping on the crosswalk, you die. And then you wake up as the next graveyard keeper.

Honestly, whoever the last one was did a poor job of keeping the graveyard, cos what the f*/ck are all these bad corpses doing buried here? JK. ANYWAYS.

First, we’re gonna talk about mechanics.

I loved the game. It’s much like Stardrew Valley in a sense that you’ve got pretty much the same thing going on, except that it’s much, much, much more stressful. You can’t just go forage things and then sell all of it expecting you’ll get money and then buy the thing that you need to accomplish this task.

Nope. It’s none of that. it’s goes so far as you have to make your own godd*/mn ink to write something. But then you’d have to go to the poultry to buy feathers to write with?? There’d been too many time’s I’d say ‘what the f*/ck’ every time I’d have to craft something to do something as mundane as f*/cking frying onion rings.

There’s a review on steam that perfectly summarizes what I feel about the game as a whole. It’s a review by Isackender they say:

“I love grinding games like Stardew Valley, Don't Starve or Forager. When you play them, you feel good completing a task because what you just achieved will help you to advance slowly towards your goal. And what's most important, these tasks are fair. Graveyard Keeper fails miserably at doing this. A lot of the tasks you're required to complete feel meaningless.… That feel of ‘I haven't done anything today’ is constant.”

And that’s true! Every time you go to bed or mediated for energy, it feels like, even though you’ve buried a body, planed some crops, chopped down some wood, crafted all these things, mined a crap ton of stone and marble for graveyard decorations, it’s never enough. You literally have no means of earning other than burying sh*/t-rated bodies at the start, so that you can get money to buy crops that you need to sell in order to make more money. What’s more frustrating, is that if you sell too much of one thing to any NPC who’ll buy your sh*/t, you won’t be able to sell that other 400 pieces of carrots you’ve harvested because they’ll have no money to buy more, and your crops will be of no value because there is too much of it. I mean that makes sense IRL, but god. I was stuck at two silver coins FOR WEEKS.

Though I think I might be comparing it too much to Harvest Moon or Stardew Valley, where everything you do gives you an idea of what you’re working towards: a great farm, with diverse produce, healthy animals, and a good income.

God you’d be crafting for WEEKS and you’d still not be able to earn anything.

I only finished it out of spite. I mean, I’m already here. I already wasted 40 hours on it why not just f*/cking go on with it? 40 hours! That’s 10 hours more than I work in a week these days.

You’re also confined to a day in a week to do everything you need to do. Many of the NPCs you need to interact with that has something to do with the main storyline are only available once a week. So if you forget what day it is, you’d have to wait for another week to move along whatever it is you want to move on with. I always forget this with Snake, the Astrologer, the Merchant, and Ms. Charm. It’s frustrating to have to trudge through another week and then maybe forget again that Ms. Charm is singing at The Dead Horse today. It’s mad.

And then there’s The Town. You spend MONTHS on earning enough money to get you a Town Pass, only for you to be struck down by lightning the moment you pass the gates. So what’s the point of building up hype and telling you that you need to get to Town, and gather all of these items for you to be able to craft the thing that will get you home? The Town literally does not exist. Which is also annoying because southwest of the Farmer, THERE’S A COAL VEIN THAT I NEED FOR THE FURNACE.

The literal amount of wood you need to advance in this game is insane. I mean I have zombies chopping wood for me but still.

Teleport stone needs way too much time to cooldown, hence, the mod. I hate walking at a glacial pace, hence, the mod. I was frustrated with the money, hence, the mod. It’s not a mod to make me earn faster, but a mod to let me sell as much as the buyer is selling their products. Sh*/t amount inventory, hence, the mod. And I’m not wasting two days for something to craft in the furnace, hence, the mod.

I also hate that big pieces of wood don’t go in your inventory. It’s frustrating because what if you chopped down something on the other side of the map? You’d have to lug that sh*/t one at a time back to your work yard? And then, when you’ve got too many items on the screen, like for example, just because you want to, you chopped down all the trees in your backyard, leaving behind, say, 50 pieces of log. The FPS will drop like a b*/tch. Seriously. I was at a constant 60fps at the start then by the end, when I’ve got my yard set up, together with the vineyard and my zombie farm, the game is always at a constant 25fps and it’s hurting my eyes. There was a time I left zombies mining at the quarry; the game dropped to 1fps every ten seconds! UGH. JLAKSDJAKSD

Okay. So. Mechanics aside, now on to the story. I mean, alright, it’s cute. I decided to finish the tavern first. The Stranger Sins DLC is where the story of the town comes from.

There’d been an old god and a new god.

I have a lot of questions. Keeper was split in two. Why and where did the old god send him? Why did the old god grant people immortality in exchange for destroying their faith in him? WHY DOES THE DONKEY TALK? I farmed hundreds of carrots for this ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ and he doesn’t even get a story?

Also, what the f*/ck is up with that sh*/tty ending? I mean, that’s it? It just. Ends. Like that. you don’t go home—your Missus is transported to you and it ends. What the f*/ck? I wasted 73 hours for that sh*/t?

There’s no replayability either. You finish it and that’s it. you go back to your save and you’re send back to the last time you saved it. It doesn’t even save after you open the portal so you could work on improving your graveyard or make more wine for your tavern.

It’s fun for a while. But if you might not finish it.

I had a blast and was addicted for two weeks straight. I mean, yeah I could recommend it because why not? The story was interesting and it was fun. But it's just way too grindy. Like, you'll lose focus and direction grindy because you don't even know what your original goal was, because you're grinding so many things at the same time for so long just to achieve one thing.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

It's got something to it and I've enjoyed it so far. However, it still needs a little bit more work.

Here are some things that I think could be worked in:

- More decor options. The more expensive, the better the “decoration” and the more people visit.

- access the settings from the pause menu

- background music? More music options from the turntable and the jukebox? Hire a musician to play on the piano?

- campaigns to attract more customers instead of just relying on foot traffic

- more food items? like dessert and more alcohol. (I guess we’re getting this from the next update!)

- Option to renovate! For now, whatever we put down is permanent (unless I don't know wtf I'm doing??). It'd be better if
we can redo some floor plans we did to maximize the space instead of adding more and more rooms, and doors that don't make sense. Or, why can’t we build a floor over an open area?

- in addition to option to renovate, create bathroom cubicles? like other wall type availability? because making bathrooms take up so much space, and bathroom cubicles can’t all be made of brick wall. I’d be buying an entire plot of land to just create three cubicles.

- Reset button for the priorities. I have to click every employee 16 times to reset him.

- Have the busboy/dishwasher/cleaner boy pickup more than one dish at a time. This would make getting more customers seated easier. And this also relieves some work off that one waiter who’s always complaining he got too much to do.

- Reservations?

- Upgrade kitchen items. What about a stove with four burners? Ovens that work with more items, etc. Or a storage cabinet for plates, glasses, etc, not just cabinets that are also counters so that cooks can work. Because laying out a lot of cabinets/counters take up a lot of space that can be allotted for more/bigger mixers, or bigger fridges and/or shelves with more capacity for food storage.

- day/night cycle. so we can close the restaurant and renovate/move around stuff without having to wait for the diner to get off the gddmn table I want to put on the other side of the building hahaha

- statistics. which things are costly? what can I do to reduce expenses because i'm losing money. a breakdown of how much I made or the expenses for today, or maybe this month. which food sells more? and because there's an ingredient shortage, how do I adjust my ordering accordingly using these financials? and since i still pay for the inventory without it actually going to the inventory, why can't I get a return of the money i paid the delivery?

will add to this when I get the ideas as I play more.

The most annoying thing though for me is that customers complain too much that there aren’t any toilets. Like. Some amazing restaurants I’ve been to have two floors and could have 100 people in that space but there’d only be two toilets, one for each floor. But 10/10 would build public bathroom with restaurant again.

However, the thing I really, really want, is the renovation. I'd want to be able to just redo the entire space into something I know I can decorate and space out better.

looking forward to future updates and features! seriously it's got a spark and promise in it. all it takes is couple more stuff and bit more polish.

Good luck, dev!

Toss a coin to your witcher!

I looked forward to this game. I was excited about it because I knew there was something after Arkham City. But alas I was hit by bus after bus after bus of disappointment. I like the gameplay, a huge step up after Arkham City. I think that's the best part of it. Sadly, I can't enjoy the gameplay as much as I want to because it's a ♥♥♥♥♥♥ port.

Story is not impressive, and does not take advantage of the several villains that are present. Boss battles are not that great either. Batmobile is awesome, but honestly, this is a Batmobile game and not a Batman game. Controls are pretty much ♥♥♥♥ too, especially the combat takedowns. Could seriously have been done better.

I enjoyed it, but don't like it. It's a ♥♥♥♥ port. Lags all the time, crashes, and my powerpoint presentation can get better FPS than this. Can't say anything good about the DLCs either.

Do not buy this game. Not worth it.

This is my first MG game. And it's SO MUCH FUN. Was a bit lost with the story and characters (watched youtube videos for the background), and found the story a little bland and lacking, but I love the gameplay! I feel like Oprah extracting everything I can find that can be extracted. You get fultoned, and you get fultoned, everybody gets to be fultoned! I wish it were easier to mod swap Quiet and Ocelot though. Sigh.

Yes. Get this game. It's awesome.

I haven't the entire thing but looking good! XL and Kombat packs, thanks QLoc

I have a LOT of hours on this game as you can see, but I am not recommending this. Fun, yes, but it has been abandoned, by its developers probably by order of the publisher. No XL pack, no KP2, no new netcode, and more importantly, no more support. Do not buy this game.

I absolutely LOVE this game. What I love most about about is the straightfowardness of it all. Kill zombies, earn money, get guns and ammo, kill more zombies and get more money, and get better guns and even more ammo! It's perfect for people who just want to have a few (or a lot) of mindless killing and gore. Will definitely play this more and absolutely looking forward to the sequel.