I’m an atheist, 19 year old, software developer, who worked at Apple and then quit and chose to pursue independent contracting.

I’m far from stupid, though you may strongly disagree with my views. I’m not a genius nor am I perfect. That’s fine. Assuming your political opposition is stupid does nothing but make you seem naive. I’m actually fairly centrist, and I really like Andrew Yang in the upcoming election, though I doubt he will win the democratic nomination. I’m not even a registered republican.

Either way, please reflect. Courtesy and independent thought clearly weren’t something you were blessed with.

When it comes to sexuality, I'm about as hetero as they come. If a gay guy came on to me, l'd be like, "No way, bro. I'm a straight-up party boy who's into chicks." Yup, one gay dude wouldn't stand a chance. It would take at least four or five gay guys strapping me down to make it inside me. Sorry, fellas, that's just how straight am. And even then I wouldn't make it easy. I'd be like, "Hey look! There goes George Michael!" And they'd all shriek "Where?!" at once, and l'd make a break for it, and they'd be like, "He's getting away! Chase him! want his butt!" But wouldn't just give them my butt. They'd have to take it. And once they got me strapped down, l'd stop fighting it because that would be giving them what they want. And don't want them to enjoy it. If anyone's going to enjoy it, it's going to be me. So, I'd just relax into it and taunt them by telling them how ripped and sexy find them and letting them know how much l'm enjoying myself. So, even though I'd have a bunch of ripped guys all taking turns on my butt, Il'd still be enjoying it. But only because forced myself to. It's not like could fight these guys off. There are too many of them and they want me too much. What aml, Chuck Norris?" I'm not against homosexuality, though. I say to each his own. You're free to do whatever you want.


I hate, hate, hate coffee culture. I can't stand people saying, "Oh, I can't do anything until I get a warm cup of coffee in me." Shut up. Being a former smoker, I recognize the addiction and subsequent irritability of coffee drinkers and it bugs me to no end that caffeine gets glossed over as an addictive substance, or even ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ celebrated to some extent. Those people who brag about needing 5 expresso shots (sorry, esssspresso) a day need an intervention, not a nod of approval. Seriously, all you coffee drinkers are the biggest group of ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ enablers I've ever seen.

When doing group activities, like camping, I loathe waiting for others to start their day after a morning ritual that hogs counter space, or propane, or dirties good clean water. I hate the sleepy look in peoples' eyes as they grasp their cup of stimulant that they wouldn't need had they never started drinking it in the first place.

There's an entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cupboard in my kitchen dedicated to stupid coffee mugs and their dumb sayings staring back at me despite living in a household where only one person drinks coffee. Why? And the dishes. Since nearly every person drinks coffee, inevitably us non-coffee drinkers are going to have to clean up after your morning fix. Seriously, I've done so many ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ cleanings of coffee mugs if I had a dime for every one, I'd probably have enough for a Starbucks franchise.

And don't even get me started on Starbucks. Godamned devil business slanging legal crack for decades, hogging good real estate so addicts have a place to slurp up and get their morning ♥♥♥♥ in before work.

Lastly, I despise the amalgam of ways people cook up their black powder and then talk up the flavor as though it tastes like something other than a dirty sock. That's your addiction speaking. You want to know why you need to dump half an udder of cream in your cup? It's because cream is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ delicious and when combined with your filthy water, makes it somewhat bearable.

And your stupid machines that creak and groan through the quietude of my morning can go ♥♥♥♥ themselves. Talk about a waste of counter-space. And the spent black stimulant granules that spill over onto the counter, staining the grout drives me nuts.

And lastly, the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ keurig cups or whatever they're called are one of humanity's worst inventions, sandwiched between Glyphosate and Joe Rogan. At least the meth addicts don't deposit a plastic remnant that will persist in landfills for hundreds of years spreading micro-plastics into our environment every time they need to get high.


CASE: RAIDMAX Ninja II ATX-A06WBO Black / Orange Steel / Plastic ATX Tower Computer Case

Unfortunately all I have right now is a case. Im working minimum wage at the moment, and have 3 children to feed, one of which needs money for chemotherapy. Maybe ill be able to afford a graphics card in the future, but it's highly unlikely.

Message me for info on how you can donate money to help my starving wife and children. Only donations greater than $50,000,000 will be accepted. Don't try to give me a pity $500 or some ♥♥♥♥ you stupid ♥♥♥♥♥. Anyway, keep in mind that by donating, you are saving the lives of innocent children. Thank you.


My IQ is 188, I’m 19, and yes. Your point?

So my intelligence and age have an effect on what language can be? Better yet, you’re offering that literal children are better designers of language that those who have learned it and spoken it for decades. Makes no sense.

Also you use emojis, proving you’re either Gen Z or some Facebook mom, and I seriously doubt anyone has slept with you.

Why yes, my humor is very intelligent, it takes a lot of brain power to get any of my jokes. You want an example? Alright, but focus:

“Wamen bad”

Haha, such a classic. Wait... what do you mean it’s not funny? Oh you’re probably a libtard with little brain power who gets offended by everything. You want me to own you with facts and logic libtard or your brain is just melting away from such high intellect brain waves?

People told me I was very smart for my age. I also was finishing art school, was into spirituality, psychology, science, did dancing, HEMA, hit gym, swallowed books, was very good at giving massage (still am) and made homemade explosives for fun.

But mostly it was the fact that I was just hot. It was the only period in my life when 17-year girls and women 15 - 20 years older hit on me on the street.

It's still kinda the case, funnily. No more hitting on on the streets, but now find me attractive again... both 17-year old girls and women 15 years my age. Except I'm 36 now, and have no interest in both groups. My slightly younger peers still find my graduation photos hot.

What a cruel twist of fate.
Oh, and by the way. When I was giving massages to girls (I love giving massages to people, I'm very kinesthetic), many girls said afterwards something like "wow, so relaxing and cool, I guess any girl can agree to anything after such a good massage". And I was like "Maybe? Not really"

I was like 17 when I realised that the girls who actually said that were the members of the "any girl" set. Maybe if those people who had told me that I was smart knew it, they'd reconsider.

Ha. A rocket launch was the first thing my "rational" mind went to for an explanation because it looks exactly like that, except my reptilian brain could not flip the image in the first few seconds. Maybe because the title had already primed me to expect something incoming instead of going up, more probably because of the weird angle this is filmed at and the exhaust plume getting larger (which I'm told happens because of decreasing density of the air surrounding the rocket at that altitude).


When I was 13, I got a girlfriend with big tits, but there was no passion, so I decided I needed a passionate girl with zest for life. In college I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability.


When I was 15, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided I needed a girl with some excitement.


When I was 17, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad impetuous things and made me miserable as often as happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition.


When I turned 19, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground, so I married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned.


I am older and wiser now, and I am looking for a girl with big tits.


Forget about the money bruh... you got the opportunity of a lifetime.

This is what I would do. Buckle up lads, cuz this is gonna be a long story.

First, I will greet her. I will brew her a cup of tea and brew myself a cup of coffee (for extra virility). Then, I will gently kiss her on her cheek and neck. Afterwards, I will dress up, take a shower, brush my teeth, and take her on a dinner date to the most expensive restaurant in my city. After I make her feel like a queen, I will bring her back to my apartment.

Then, I will call the lawyer I have on retainer and draft a sexual consent document and make her sign it. After she signs it, I will gently take her to the bedroom and lock the door so that my landlord can't enter.

I will remove her dress. Then, I will take out my penis, throbbing and erect, and rub the pre-♥♥♥ all over her sublime body. Since I am a master of the orgasm, I will have intercourse with her several times, all ending with an ejaculation in the vagina. Due to the magnificent mental control I have after being a virgin for 19 years, after every orgasm, I release enough semen to impregnate an entire city. Since her ♥♥♥♥♥ is so tight, it can only contain a small amount of it, so I make sure to collect the overflow. I do this 23 times over the course of the night. Exhausted, she gives me a final kiss and sleeps.

However, my duty has just begun. I collect the several gallons of semen I had prodigiously created over the course of the night and store them in the freezer. I talk to my best friend, who is a registered marraige officiant, and fly him over with my private jet in preparation for tomorrows event.

In the morning, as soon as Belle wakes up, I have my friend come over to the bedside and preside over our wedding, even as the both of us are naked. After we are married, I send my friend away and have another sex session with her, which lasts for 6 hours. Then, I take her to the doctor for a pregnancy test and find out that she is pregnant.

Elated, I bring her home. I know that I should give her the best nutrition, so I take all the gallons of ♥♥♥ I produced and prepare fried omelettes flavored with ♥♥♥♥ cheese. This is her breakfast every day till she bears my son.

After my son is born, I take her out to dinner, buy her a new car, give her the keys and divorce papers, and say, 'Begone Thot; all mine energies art to raise thine son'.

Our son's name? Albert Einstein.


Dude I own this NFT. Do you really think you can get away with theft when you’re showing what you stole from me directly to my face. My lawyers will make an easy job of this case. Prepare to say goodbye to your luscious life and start preparing for the streets. I will ruin you. I live walking distance from my local police department. If another person uses my NFT without my consent I will report them immediately. This is MY PROPERTY. The transaction has be verified scientifically on the block chain. Anyone who violates my NFT rights will pay the price. Buddy, you have no idea who you are messing with. I have made a ridiculous amount of money in crypto/NFTs and I have the best lawyers. If you don’t remove my NFT as your profile picture you’re going to regret it. When you steal someone’s property you get punished. Watch out. You think it's funny to take screenshots of people's NFTs, huh? Property theft is a joke to you? I'll have you know that the blockchain doesn't lie. I own it. Even if you save it, it's my property. You are mad that you don't own the art that I own. My final notes to leave off this platform. ♥♥♥♥ you guys. Seriously, eat a steaming pile of ♥♥♥♥. I hate every single one of you. The humor was okay until it wasn't, and became another circlejerk. You guys make me sick. I actually found success after ghosting this server for a while. I got good grades. I got a girlfriend. Couldn't be happier this server is closing. At least another person doesn't have to make themselves suffer with this degeneracy. I've found new ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hubs. I've found new places to spew my stupidness. Seriously, ♥♥♥♥. YOUR. SELF. I HATE YOU. - closing words.