Honestly, this game is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. They never give you ammo for the guns you have, Med Kits are far and few between, your friends die to some ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ zombie noclipping through a wall then THEY become infected and near invicible and chase your sorry ass down over and over until you're ♥♥♥♥♥♥.

If another dead player doesn't manage to kill you, one of the armored zombies wearing M1 Abrams Tank armor will. These ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ absorb 20-30 of your precious rounds, only to be killed by some guy who takes a single whack at him with a baseball bat. Ok.

Before you even begin to play the game, make sure your graphic settings are all on LOW because if you neglect to do this, your flashlight, when turned on, will literally make you feel like you're in the presence of God. The ♥♥♥♥♥♥' glare and flare effect they added is awful, and makes the game unplayable until you turn down your shaders (I think).

Levels require you to pick up all kinds of ♥♥♥♥ in order to complete it, such as keys, fire extinguishers, etc. In the mean time, you're trying to juggle weapons that actually have ammo (which there is none) and you only have 4 slots combined to juggle all this useless keys and ♥♥♥♥ with while trying to maintain a decent arsenal.... How do they expect you to do this???

BZZZZZT BZZZZZZZZT BZZZZZZZZT!
What was that? Oh, that's just your cellphone going off; receiving passive-aggressive and sometimes useful automated text messages from other players about how to complete the level. Press B to access it. Can't see what they're saying? Near-sighted you say? Press right mouse button in order to jam the Nokia 3310 between your eyes.

Your character has the fitness level of a chainsmoking old man, and you are required to take a 6 or 7 second break after sprinting less than 20 yards. Jumping, which is an entirely useless feature to the game, also takes about 33% of your stamina bar. Speaking of which, there are a wide variety of characters to choose to play from, but they are all seemingly the same statistically with no distinguishable attributes. As a result, the most played characters are the ones with the largest and flashiest (pixelated) boobs. I can't believe I'm typing this but I actually had a guy get upset with me because I "took his bae". Hilarious. At least, that's what I think he was saying over voice coms, it can be hard to tell because whatever audio codec the game utilizes makes everyone else sound like they're trying to speak with a sock in their mouth.

Weapons do not scale as you might think they would. One would assume something like a 12 gauge shotgun would be MUCH more potent than the measily 9mm you start off with, but sometimes you'll aim down sight and shoot a zombie at point blank range with a shotgun and they just won't die (and forget collateral damage....Do the devs realize shotguns use pellets that spread?). HOW!!! Every single pistol in this game is a 1 shot to the head, so just stick to those and the automatic weapons which are also a 1 shot to the head. Stay away from all the shotguns, leverguns, wheelguns, and whatever other ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ that they've added that does 0 damage.

I wonder why they even included grenades and such in the game when they are so EXCEEDINGLY rare and take up 1 of your 4 precious inventory slots.... Is someone really gonna drop a gun loaded with ammo for a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ 1 use grenade??? I don't think so... You can't drop your keys or ♥♥♥♥♥♥' fire extinguiser or bolt cutters for it either because the moment you do, you just KNOW it'll be required 15 mins from now in order to continue the level, and you'll have to run back 500 meters (wasing what little ammo you have left) in order to re-obtain it.

Doors seem to offer little protection in this game, as zombies can literally noclip their arms through them, and hit you on the other side. And don't bother relying on a door to give you some momentary seperation from the zombies either. On some occasions, it'll take a zombie 30-40 seconds to knock down a wooden door before attacking you. Then, you'lll randomly have your back turned to a METAL door and it'll just come FLYING off the hinges after 1 zombie hit... Did the zombie ♥♥♥♥♥♥ charge his biceps up or something? I don't get it....

Another thing I don't understand is why the devs chose to reuse the character models as zombie models.... Is it really that difficult to keep them mutually exclusive? Often times I run around the corner, seeing my friend's character, only for it to be a zombie and I take 25% of my health and throw it away because I got confused. Also sometimes you'll go through a door and turn around and there will be a zombie floating, frozen in midair that will drop on your head like creature from the outback and destroy you. What the ♥♥♥♥?

The registration seems OK, I can't really complain about it. It's certainly doesn't have the accuarcy and registration you would expect from a 128 tick CS:GO server, but it's alright. Don't expect to shoot anyone in the head from 30+ yards out. Just wait until they are closer.


It took me and a friend 4 hours of in-game time and 6 total tries just to beat ♥♥♥♥♥♥ de_roanoke_police_idiots or whatever that ♥♥♥♥ is. ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ man.


Note: I've played escape mode exclusively.