Recent reviews by › Noir

Honestly - for the price - you'll get a little bit of fun out of it, then you'll beat the game [it is relatively short to complete a run at the basic difficulty] and then - you'll get to the cruciball levels, and unless you get an absolutely perfect loadout, the whole thing ends up dumping you over and over into the losing zone. A big issue honestly is that something changed about the physics, with balls not bouncing how you would expect them to. Oh you banked a shot into this corner plentiful with PEGS hoping to get that little cluster with some bounces? No - you're going to bounce the complete opposite direction, miss every peg that you -need- to hit to get a crit or refresh the board, and go straight into the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at the bottom. Almost every round of crucibal above 1-2 is just '♥♥♥♥ you, the refresh peg is hidden in a corner behind the rest of the map's pegs.' you spend your time carving to it knowing you WILL need it, only to then get ♥♥♥♥ on by enemies cause oops, you're only on the 3rd stage and you're out of balls, reload, lose 75% of your hp, and then hope you can win in another 4-5 balls thrown. All in all, I got my money's worth, but wouldn't recommend it to people.

"Why do we all have to wear these RIDICULOUS ties?!" - I shout as I'm being mauled by extra-planar entities.

Great game, spent many hours in it, but unfortunately there's jack ♥♥♥♥ all to do. Content's drip-fed, and super slow to be released. Meanwhile, since Darktide's released, and gotten 'up to par' with how it --SHOULD HAVE BEEN AT RELEASE-- to this point in time; they put out something like three massive DLC packs, several freebies, new class, new enemy types, and new story missions into Vermintide 2. This game has insane potential to be something great, but it's not the cash cow that Vermintide 2 is [since y'know, that released fully featured and built up a really hardy and retention-ed player-base] leaving this to just sorta rot in the corner. Little patches here and there to try and get people to come back.

The recent update was kind of a slap to be honest. 'We put in a new bomber, he throws fart gas', and then a 'battle-pass esque' reward tree that rewards you with very basic cosmetics that don't really vary that much from the rest of the cosmetics you can already earn far more easily and cheaply in the comissary. What a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥. I do not recommend it at this time, because once you hit lvl 30 in every class. You've little else to do but repeat the same 4 missions ad naseum with an occassional -affix that gives you some map-doodlies. Once I got into the lvl 5 era missions and started completing them, that was it. I was kinda done. There's little else to go but the butt-crunchincly difficult stuff beyond that. I'd rather not waste the time and effort.

Having problems as a starting player; with other players I go up against having all the insanely powerful cards maxed out and doing insane things like Snap turning behind them to perfectly headshot all over the place while sneaking [and not bogged down by a debuff that would give away my position like poisons/bleed] . I didn't think I'd literally see hackers day 1 or 2 of a game's lifespan but here we are; I love the style, love the gameplay, and that everything in it is earned through play [and not bought!]

but it already feels like it has an enviornment that's going to poopoo on new people and it just released; I don't even know how.

Also; if you expect big groups of friends to play together; Don't, you can do 2v2 or 1v1. Needs like a 4v4 or a 6v6 if at all possible in the later aspect of development. Sticking around to see what happens - could be a lovely gem given time. For now - watch reviews, and videos, and seee what you think overall. I have to say "no" to a recommendation at the moment - but that may change.

Update: 6/4/23

So - they made some changes to the leveling system; but I'm noticing that people on the other team that I'm going up against still have insanely more powerful decks. Another full hour pumped into trying it out and I was being 1 shot around corners, through walls, with people nailing every headshot the moment your head peaks out regardless of where you are - just snapping straight onto you. So not only am I running into the same hacking issues - it feels like the 'lvl based matchmaking' isn't functioning at all. I can't get any cards to save my ass cause the folks I go up against just ball through my team in the first few seconds of every match - 0 counterplay.

Great game. Gives yah feels. Funny meme animals too. 11/5 would die.

3/10 good responsive gunplay, abilities feel responsive, and customization is good enough for player voices.

Weird that all the cool skins and stuff that existed in the beta-launch-test are gone, and replaced with....recolors mostly as 'legendary' skins. Very odd choice imo.

The only other issue I find is balancing is kind of a joke for some of these mechs. Sazabi, Turn a Gundam, and Barbatos just kind of ruin every match played against them unless your team also has those three. Sazabi because - despite being a tank with insane hp, regen, drone ult, and a shield that recharges relatively fast after broken - it deals a crap-tonne of dmg too. At short to medium range it's an unstoppable juggernaught capable of hamfisting half your team with 0 issue. If it has a support following it? You'll likely hardly hurt it.

Barbatos just 1 shots you, and every attack it has stuns you bar none. It's hard to play, but once you get the rythm you just absolutely pub-stomp with 0 issue, getting in and out of fight with almost 0 effort and cracking skulls with every swing downing someone. The ult change is an interesting choice but - frankly - I don't know how I feel about it.

Balancing seems to only have gotten worse in more recent play, if a player leaves - your team is basically screwed 100%, and there's no leave match button, no abandon match button, no way to report people who left in the first place, and no automatic end function UNLESS the person left during the first few seconds of the match. They keep ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ up over and over during this release...very sad.

Continuing decline of gameplay elements is an issue. Mechs are not balanced - and don't seem to be being changed or re-arranged to make gameplay actually compatible with a complex strategy line inherent to having multiple characters to choose from. Instead you pick a melee character, or go with one of the P2Play characters - and win. The purchaseable characters are overall better, and have many more unique mechanics and bonuses to them. other standard mechs can't compete. Asshimar's got a stun that lasts a total of 2s on a ranged pull that leads directly into a 1 shot knifing from his weird spear thing - and then to top it all off his Ultimate is just an AOE disable that removes any counterplay to him at all. He's good at close range, short range, Melee, and can pull you into melee. There's no point to playing anything else if you got one of the purchaseable characters. Beta was a lot of fun - actual release is stagnantly dropping.

Either they balance out the characters - or the game dies before the years end. Guaranteed.

Amazing gameplay loop, a Fun and fresh Roguelike! Feels like a little bit of Rimworld colony sim, some Recateer [is that how that's spelled], and binding of Isaac wrapped together with a little bit of Hades [though less tight controls].

Very fun, very cute....but just a little buggy.

As of right now I've had to restart my save twice, because later on into the 2nd major area; The quests I started getting from followers were INSTANTLY failing the moment I took them. In this instance, they asked for 2 rituals, the Harvest one [grows all food instantly] and the Fasting ritual; Both failed the instant I hit the 'accept quest' button; despite both rituals being available to use, and ready to go. No chance to perform them; nothing.

This instantly dragged my cult into non-believer status, and they all started rebelling. People left, the few that remained became dissenters...and that was it. Had to start over.

Still fun as ♥♥♥♥ tho. With it's Rogue-like gameplay it means that starting over isn't so bad. 8/10!

Absolutely loving the game. 8 Hours straight playing through it - and still not done. Every victory feels earned, every boss defeated a triumph....and you're rewarded with Cybernetic Ninja Mayhem that keeps escalating and jumping a bigger and bigger shark every single step of the way. The meme potential was worth it.

This game is jam packed with content! It's got everything from Sandwhiches, to Evil Spirit possesed swords! [ And all that is between! ]. Team orientented Gameplay with team mission objectives makes combat hectic, surprising, and Most of all Gorey!

I recomend this game to anyone that already doesn't have it, since it's probably some of the best fun you can have on Valve's network, and now, It wont cost you a dime! [ Unless you really want it to! ]