ziomek's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 3:39am

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 7:02am

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 4:14am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 7:33am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 10:24am

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 18 Jan @ 10:37am

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 10:21am

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

Unlocked 18 Jan @ 10:26am

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 3:59am

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 8 Jan @ 10:24am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 11 Jan @ 11:43am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 6:58am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 2 Aug, 2022 @ 3:40am

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Unlocked 8 Jan @ 10:46am

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 6:37am

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 7:41am

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 6:30am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 9:06am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 6:30am

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 8 Jan @ 11:19am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 8 Jan @ 11:00am

You are not alone

Observed an NPC going POSTAL!

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 9:00am

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 7 Jan @ 9:31am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

0 / 30

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

3 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

2 / 30

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

4 / 30

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

2 / 3

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

1 / 30

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

928 / 1,000

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 30

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

0 / 30

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

0 / 20

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

0 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

0 / 5,000

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

0 / 30

You Snow Nothing John Blow

Peed on all of the snowmen in the Nuclear Winter zone.