Recent reviews by Alex Ted

Plot? What plot?

I thought Before the Storm and True Colors were bad
I stand corrected

This game is literally about nothing - there's no actual plot, the "murder" is not explained or resolved in any way. Every single character is despicable, you eventually start avoiding them as much as possible. Romance options are between a show off bi asian boy with a personality of a cardboard and a hillbilly lesbo bartender in her greatgreatgreatgrandfather's threads, that missed her calling in some low-end sitcom. A lot of filler running around, token choices and rainbow flags. They cater so much to the lgbtq community, that they forgot to make the game.
There is no game. The game is a lie.

Near the end I wasn't interested in exploring anything or doing anything beyond moving the plot forward just to please make it end.

All you get is 4 episodes of a maybe game, where everything just goes downhill, the longer you play + a 5th episode, that's not really an episode - just a buildup for their new game, where all of your choices will not matter anyways.

The only saving grace is that they make Maxine super-beautiful. For men, I guess, it might be the important part?

In conclusion: no game, only trash.
1 Maxine out of 10.

When I was playing, I comforted myself with the fact, that I knew I'd get to shoot the antagonist in the end. I got screwed over with their "happy" ending. Now that b is going around building her supersoldier army. DECK9 YOU OWE ME THAT PISTOL! HUMANITY'S BLOOD IS ON YOUR HANDS!

TLDR - Game's good. Buy it.

They say, that the reason that I'm not entranced with video games the same way I used to is that I've gotten older. I just have more things to spend my spare time on. They say, games are simply not as interesting to mature adults with responsibilities. Mature adults with responsibilities live in the "now", not in some fantasy fairy tale.

Well, this game proves them wrong. The contrast between Robocop and recent(ish) "big" games from "AAA studios" made me really question what modern gamedev has become. All these garbage games get presented in a pretty wrapper - and when you don't enjoy it - it's YOUR fault. You're the one that changed.

It's not the endless grind for some random amount of whatever; it's not the superficial plotline or the boring fetch quests; it's not the collecting of a million somethings all around the map to get an achievement, that no one cares about; it's certainly not our f*cking in-game store, where you can buy a pretty picture for something that was intentionaly made plain.

And it gets repeated so often, that you actually start to believe it.

After Baldur's Gate 3 released they all whined "oh, but we can't compete with that, look at how much time they spent on it...". Well, maybe that's how it supposed to be? ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, they should at least try!

And it looks to me like this relatively small gamedev actually did try.
Yeah, it crashed on me acouple of times. Yes, the lines are cheesy af. And yes, I've rolled my eyes quite a bit at the plot, especially towards the end. The first time I started to robo-walk somewhere I couldn't believe they dared to release a game in 2023, where you are forced to walk THAT. F*CKING. SLOW.

But release it they did. And you know what? I had fun.

You walk into a mob of enemies and pull the trigger. Heads explode spectacularly. Blood all over the place. Polish it with a cheesy robo-line. Continue. Rinse. Repeat. But for some reason you don't tire of it.

There are many variations of ugprades for Robocop's pistol. It can be made into a proverbial Super-Deagle or a full-auto SMG. It has infinite ammo. It kicks ass. There are different uprades for the Robocop - perks to give abilities or boost specs. They're cool. There are different weapons you can pick up from the enemies. Midgame and later you don't need them - your pistol is the sh*t.

The small side-quests you get to do, the secondary characters you get to shape, locations that don't seem like it's all the one same place (even when it is, lol), the ridiculous sh*t npcs sometimes say - it all somehow adds up into a very engaging experience...

And now, that you've read to down here - if you're still with me - I've never seen a single Robocop movie :D ... But I absolutely adored this game.
Yeah, maybe it isn't the polished triple-A experience, that we are so used to nowadays. But, perhaps, it shouldn't be? It's simply good the way it is, flaws and all.

I guess that's what really brought on my existential mid-life venting - Robocop ignores quite a bit of mordern gamedev concepts. But, right off you can tell, that these guys had put their hearts into the game - and, suprisingly, it turns out, that that's enough.

A rare gem in a sea of soulless trash.

Казалось бы, при чём здесь майнкрафт?

Relaxing

Awesome puzzle game. Last similar game I was lost in for days was Return of the Obra Dinn

Скучное унылое дерьмо

Beautiful levels, good soundtrack, playing as a cat is simply awesome. But way too short - 6-7 hours of gameplay, very obvious plot with unnecessary drama in the end, boring sidequests (find, fetch, bring). Would recommend on a sale ~50%, otherwise not good content/price ratio imo.

The filler bs between sagas is annoying trash, but thankfully bearable
And I recommend cheating the orbs/money insted of grinding for it (ANGTFT)
Other than that, It's that exact game you've always wanted as a kid. The main story gameplay is glorious. Made me even want to go watch super

Beholder 2 is a mixture of political maneuvering, bureaucracy and horrors of dystopia all rolled into 1.
It is set in the same world as Beholder 1, but differs from the first game in terms of gameplay. If you enjoyed titles such as "beholder 1", "papers, please", "do not feed the monkeys", "yes, your grace", you will most likely find this game worthwhile.
A lot of people have issues with the "tedious minigames", but the point of the game is to progress by elliminating bosses and coworkers. I think the minigames are intentionally annoying and boring to force the player to play the actual game.
Another thing you have to keep in mind is that to get the best ending (and all the other endings are simply bonechilling), you need to find all of the biometric safes. You come across most of them anyway by playing the game, but you might miss a few and have to look up a guide or something in case you're aiming for the best ending.