You want a car that gets the job done? You want a car that's hassle free? You want a car that literally no one will ever compliment you on?

Well look no further: the 1999 Toyota Corolla.

Bluetooth: nope
Sunroof: nope
Fancy wheels: nope
Rear view camera: nope, but it's got a transparent rear window and you have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ neck that can turn.

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Let me tell you a story. One day, my Corolla started making a strange sound. I didn't give a ♥♥♥♥ and ignored it. It went away. The end.

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You could take the engine out of this car, drop it off the Golden Gate Bridge, fish it out of the water a thousand years later, put it in the trunk of the car, fill the gas tank up with Nutella, turn the key, and this puppy would ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ start right up.

This car will outlive you, it will outlive your children.

Vote: yes
Drink alcohol: yes
Rent a car: it IS a car

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- The car's exterior color is gray, but its interior color is grey.
- In the owner's manual, oil is listed as "optional".
- When this car was unveiled at the 1998 Detroit Auto Show, it caused all 2,000 attendees to spontaneously yawn. The resulting abrupt change in air pressure inside the building caused a partial collapse of the roof. Four people died. The event is chronicled in the documentary "Bored to Death: The Story of the 1999 Toyota Corolla".

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This car is as practical as a Roth IRA.

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CarFax Report:
When I ran the CarFax for this car, I got back a single piece of paper that said "It's a Corolla. It's fine."