thanks m8, in Russia, we call people like you - 'Nash slonyara', that's an analog of gigachad

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+rep I caught this guy ♥♥♥♥ing my girlfriend last week. I’m still ♥♥♥♥♥♥ about it but there’s nothing I can do. She loves him. I knew she was acting weird because she kept staying out late and coming home with taco sauce on her blouse. During ♥♥♥ she’d scream to give her my five dollar foot long, but I’m only 3 inches and five dollars is way too much for what I’m giving. One day I came home to find her getting plowed against the wall by this dude. He had her hair in one hand and a taco bell cheesy gordita crunch in the other. I tried to fight him, but he slapped me so hard it broke every window in the house. This dude’s a stone cold pimp and I can’t do anything to hurt him, so I can only hope he breaks her heart one day like she broke mine.

+rep Reads René Guénon

i went to highschool with this guy and was invited to a graduation party, aftyer seeing him drunkenly take off his shirt i got hot and blacked out, the next day i woke up in his bed and later that day i found out that i was pregnant with this white guys kid, its been a year now and i cant find him and tell him about his black daughter

Dear Nephew, Your two lovely uncles have been killed by a drone strike accidentally ordered by me. Oops! I sincerely hope you aren't too mad at me, included is a digital download code for Minecraft™. Also go check out www.minecraft/mods.com for some sweet mod packs. My personal favorite is "Too Many Items". It's like you're playing creative mode on survival.

Sincerely, Barack Obama