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⚠️ QUANDALE DINGLE STRIKES AGAIN ⚠️
🧠 Banned your friend with a Cannik Mete SF
🔫 Hip-fired through his Steam password
💬 Tried to defuse the microwave instead of the bomb
🐧 Now he mains Club Penguin in ranked
🖤 Bio updated to: “Stay dangerous. Cannik was here.”
🎮 Plays Barbie Horse Adventure on ultra
⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿⣿
Your friend tried to 1v1 me in CS:GO but brought a knife to a Mete SF fight 🔥—I hip-fired him so hard he installed Roblox and became a part-time dance emote 💃💀.
I caught him trying to aim-train with a fidget spinner while whispering "peeker’s advantage" into his mic at 3AM 😵🎧. I then deleted all his skins and replaced them with NFTs of Gaben crying in Turkish 🇹🇷🧼.
He tried to clutch a 1v5 but tripped over his RGB footrest and accidentally defused the microwave instead of the bomb 😭💣.
Now he mains Sage in Valorant and says "rotate?" every time he leaves his room 🚪😒.
I put perks on Vladimir Putin's drink
And he went to bed for a really long time
I trapped my autistic son's hand in an air fryer (herrrrr)
I dumped boiling water on a prison guard's head
My cousin Henry Bartholomew Dingle Nut
Got arrested for putting a TNT in a daycare center
Put a camera on Joe Biden's bathroom and watched him take a poop
My Asian brother Quan Ling Ling Dingle put illegal substances in my ramen and I died
I have been arrested for multiple crimes
Including battery on police officer (what)
Grand theft, declaring war on Italy, and public indecency
I will be escaping prison on March 28th
After that I will take over the world