“A pair of six-shooters beats a pair of sixes.”

So i'm just gonna tell you my dream, and YOU flex that imagination muscle: We see planet earth drifting through the black void of space, a demonic sigil burned in its surface. I look down upon it, standing vigil in my orbital space castle ship fortress thing. I'm listening to a woman crying for help over the radio. I know the demonic forces are butt-humping my planet and I am pissed as hell. I grab my super duper shotgun and exactly three out of six available shells. That's not enough, but that's okay. I also have my trusty wrist blade. Then I put on my iconic helmet. As the portal leading to earth's surface powers up, I feel my huge ♥♥♥♥ pushing against the inside of my suit of tech armor. I'm ready, I reload my gun, and....
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀   
⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ "Right about now I'll bet you feel pretty silly putting all that money into your IRA" 🇺🇦
Beer and Marlboros