king of the true north strong and free

My worst bowel movements are when I am out in public shopping. I will avoid dropping toilet paper in the toilet bowl, and instead kick it in the stall next to me, or in the trash can bin if there is one. This is because I hope for someone to admire the shape, smell, and color of my feces.
Recently, I have found myself ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ on clothing merchandise. My local H&M has fallen victim, as they have incredible lighting.
I have not been caught yet, but I'm willing to risk that, as I crave the reaction of those who have been doomed to discover what I had left.

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