Hey! 😊 Sure, I'm cool with being your maple gf! 🍁 Let's team up and tackle Golem's Temple II together! 💪 Meet me by the entrance, I'll be the cleric rocking the pink robe and bunny ears! 🐰 Can't wait to hang out in-game! 😄✨

take me back

LOL - us diaper fetish folk also think Marvel movies are epic. My amazingly witty partner was changing my nappy the other day and she - with *zero* hesitation - said "Whew! Did Thanos wear this fricken diaper or what?" I laughed until I cried. Absolutely epic.

im pissed

Holy ♥♥♥♥, im so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ pissed. I just cant have nice ♥♥♥♥. Like, why the hell do i allways get ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ friendzoned? Ffs, like, our vibes were the same and ♥♥♥♥, we even kissed once, so why the hell man. Like ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, im so mad and rn. I feel like i wanna literally end all life on earth and cry my soul out of my body at the same time. Like, i just cant ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ take it anymore, i just give up on women, ill just turn homiesexual, ♥♥♥♥ man. Woman☕.

I think everyone wishes humans had tails.
Like imagine the moms at walmart saying "omg your hair is so pretty ;3" then you'd say thanks with a straight face but if we had a tail that shi would be waggin so fast. then she'll notice it and be like "aww look at you getting all excited for mommy" then you'd start to blush and get all embarrassed and shi x3 ... yall feeling me on this one

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❤️ Friendly Guy ❤️
🔥🔥 We can be friends for future games 🔥🔥

⚡️⚡️ Have a wonderful day⚡️⚡️
✨✨ Stay safe & take care✨✨

✅✅✅+REP Nice profile ✅✅✅


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I can give you a percentage, it is actually, i believe it is 17.8% of the people i run dnd for will continue to be my friends once the game is done, i have that number for you i have that number for you, i have made that calculation, i have made that calculation 4 separate occasions, the evidence is empirical.

your friend is laying like this would you and from work to her sister with like this. Wyd?

I am in the middle of carrying a league of legends game about to close it out, and my bra-less wife brings me a sandwich(not asked for) with chips as i get a double kill bot lane.
So how is your day going?

you either a smart fella or a fart smella

Oh...my....god. that is sooooooo thicc oh my lord she has a huge dump truck assss. Thats ass soo big I can eat dinner lunch and breakfast off her ass. Ass so big she needs help wiping (from me) Ass so large she fell and earthquake and nine elven happened

tbh i'd pick you up, hug you while rubbing against my huge sweaty moobs then kiss your cheeks telling you how much i loved you and then kiss you on the lips and let out a hard long belch into your mouth

I heard that the game had some bugs but I wasn’t expecting them to hurt my experience so quickly. I was making my character and I got to the genitals option and gave my character a penis. I scrolled through the size option and noticed a game breaking bug. The labels are wrong for the penises. I gave my character what was labeled as “small penis” and was surprised to find that it was way bigger than my real penis. This is a serious game breaking bug and CD Project Red needs to make fixing this issue it’s number one priority.

So yesterday i was playing on de_mirage and had a girl on my team. after a few rounds she asked for a drop, and me and the boys knew it was a race - i was the first one to drop her an awp, and i think she got a crush on me after that. she even said nice try after i failed a clutch couple of rounds later. anyway I added her after the game, im planning our wedding and buying a box of condoms at the moment, just waiting for her to accept, she probably is nervous which is why she hasnt accepted me yet right haha.

RIGGED RIGGED RIGGED, I absolutely don't want to live in this
nation where our GREAT PRESIDENT TRUMP is getting ROBBED!
This is absolutely the final straw, my KIDS ARE IN DANGER
and I won't live in this nation another day! I'M PACKING TO
THE NIGERIA AND FINALLY LEAVE THE USA!!!

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergeny meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks. Hahahaha!

Today I [40M] caught my wife [19F] having an orgy [2hrs] with my sister [19F], father [81M], and nanny [107F]. I took my bags [9lbs] and left to an overnight motel [$40/n] to think things out. Should I end our marriage [3yrs] or try therapy [$100/hr]??
Please help me, i have a blood pressure problem, and when i checked it the machine showed, blood pressure out of range of equipment, please guide me.

nice tits ma'am those were some amazing milkers some awesome mammaries some beautiful breasts some tantalizing pillows some succulent sweater puppies some nice round watermelons some perky and plump dobohonkerors some bountiful bahoonagoongas some buoyant tolonohongnonologongas

Please, call me Pog. PogChamp was my father.

Please, call me Pog. PogChamp was my father.

babe, i'm breaking up with you. it's not you, you were poggers. it's me, i'm omegalul. i'm sorry if this is pepehands but it has to be done, i've just been feeling pepega and our relationship has been weirdchamp for months, it's time to end it, no kappa.

Do anybody here know what Shungite is ? No not Suge Knight, I think he's locked up in prison. Talking shungite. Anyways, it's like a two billion year old.. like rock... stone... that protect against frequencies and unwanted frequencies that may be traveling in the air. That's my story, I bought a whole bunch of stuff, put them around la casa, little pyramids, stuff like that.

dont mess with me cuz ill kill u i have admin guns ill kick u in da face ill spawn siren head ill get my stick MINIONS ill get dinosaurs ill spawn SCP-096 imma spawn peanut aka SCP-173 den ur neck get snapped + ur getting eaten by 096 so yeah boi dont mess with me!!!! U TRYING TO CRASH ME *kills u with admin gun then kicks* >:) DONT MESS WITH ME ILL KICK UR NUTS THEN U WILL BE CORNERED BY SPCS AND IDK DINOSAURS AND MUCH MORE SO DONT DO IT!!!!!!! u: wtf this kid is crazy (when u join my gmod server) *drops mic* HI THERE DUMMY *shoots*

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✭ Nothing
🌏 ♡ takes
🚙😺 ♀ the
💄🐛⚡ ✿ taste
🏓👾🌂📒 ❀ out
🍇🥒🐟💗👑 ✔ of
⛳🎈🌳🎫📀🌋 ♂ peanut butter quite like unrequited love. -- Charlie Brown

OH MINE GOD,😳😳 I ACCIDENTALLY 🙈🙈 HATH SENT 😳 THOU A PICTURE OF MINE ♥♥♥♥ AND BALLS 🍆🍆... PRITHEE DELETE IT!❌❌🛑！’LEST... THOU DESIRES TO LOOK?😏😏 HAHA I JEST... 🤣🤣, DELETE IT AT ONCE!❌🛑... SHOULD THEE CRAVE..?😳🙈...HAHA NAY,❌ BANISH IT...🛑🛑...’LEST?😏😳

i physically cannot stop myself from saying "bruh moment" whenever i react to anything. What was originally a rather humorous saying has evolved to now an impulsive, uncontrollable behavior that consumes me whenever i have to react to something. From "holy crap" and omg to "bruh" all that is said now is "bruh moment". "bruh moment" this "bruh moment". my family died. bruh moment. im having the time of my life. bruh moment. i just wanted to be cool and say something original. bruh moment. little did i know the horrors that came from bruh moment. im doomed. bruh moment. this phrase has gotten the best of me. its over for me. bruh moment.

are you an actual jewish furry

+ rep

I dreamed I saw my maternal grandmother sitting by the bank of a swimming pool, which was also a river. Her genital region was exposed dimly. It had the appearance of a thick mane of hair. She was stroking herself absentmindedly. She walked over to me with a handful of pubic hair compacted into something resembling a large artist's paintbrush. She pushed this at my face. I raised my arm several times to deflect her hand. Finally, unwilling to hurt her or interfere with her any further, I let her have her way. She stroked my face with the brush gently and said, like a child, isn't it soft?

Imagine reading a post, but over the course of it the quality seems to deteriorate and it gets wose an wose, where the swenetence stwucture and gwammer rewerts to a pwoint of uttew non swence, an u jus dont wanna wead it anymwore (o´ω｀o) awd twa wol owdewl iws jus awfwul (´･ω･`);. bwt tw powost iwswnwt obwer nyet, it gwos own an own an own an own. uwu wanyaa stwop weadwing bwut uwu cwant stop wewding, uwu stwartd thwis awnd ur gwoing two fwinibsh it nowo mwattew wat! uwu hab mwoxie kwiddowo, bwut uwu wibl gwib ub sowon. i cwan wite wike dis fwor owors, swo dwont cwalengbe mii..

… wbats dis??? uwu awe stwill weedinb mwie powost?? uwu habe awot ob detewemwinyanyatiom!! ｡◕‿◕｡! u habve comopweedid tha pwost, good job!

God is dead. God wemains dead. And we have kiwwed him. How shaww we comfowt ouwsewves, the mwuwdewews of aww mwuwdewews? What was howiest and mwightiest of aww that the wowwd has owned has bwed to death undew ouw knives. Who wiww wipe this bwood off us? What watew is thewe to cwean ouwsewves? OwO

22m/poland :) could you rp a succubus for me? just to be on the same page if you know what it is. i prefer an interpretation, that it is a type of female demon, that sucks out energy from males, through making them orgosm multiple times, until they die in pleasure;)

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So basically I was on my phone watching another YouTube tutorial on how to clean your ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ for gay sex when my wife suddenly burst into the bathroom. By instinct I pressed the lock screen button but recently I had bought YouTube Premium so the video kept playing in the background at full volume, much to my horror and despair. I tried unlocking my phone to close the app but my fingers were too moist from my cleaning operation and so I sat there while the man in the video started moaning, my wife finally figuring out that I was gay. We divorced the next day.

snniiiifffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnniiff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....ssssnniff...eggs I smell?...sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff...quite pungent eggs yes very much so.....sssssnnniiiiiffff....yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff..yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBRRRAAAAPPPFFFLLLLLLPPPPFFFF

very good!....very sloppy n wet my dear....hmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling....hmmmmm...hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff...sssssnnniiiifff.....hmmm...hhhmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry...hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes....onion n garlic chutney I take it my dear?...hmmmm...yes quite...

snniiiifffff...oh yes my dear....sssnnnniiff....quite pungent indeed...is that....dare I say....ssssnniff...eggs I smell?...sniff....hmmm...yes...quite so my darling....sniff...quite pungent eggs yes very much so.....sssssnnniiiiiffff....yes...and also....a hint of....sniff....cheese.....quite wet my dear....sniff..yes...this will do nicely....sniff.....please my dear....another if you please....nice a big now....

BBBRRRAAAAPPPFFFLLLLLLPPPPFFFF

very good!....very sloppy n wet my dear....hmmm...is that a drop of nugget I see on the rim?...hmmmm.....let me.....let me just have a little taste before the sniff my darling....hmmmmm...hmm..yes....that is a delicate bit of chocolate my dear....ah yes....let me guess...curry for dinner?....oh quite right I am....aren't I?....ok....time for sniff...sssssnnniiiifff.....hmmm...hhhmmm I see...yes....yes indeed as well curry...hmmm....that fragrance is quite noticeable....yes....onion n garlic chutney I take it my dear?...hmmmm...yes quite...

faye reagan <3

so sexy pls add

♥♥♥♥♥ are so cute omg(⁄ ⁄•⁄ω⁄•⁄ ⁄)⁄ when you hold one in your hand and it starts twitching its like its nuzzling you(/ω＼) or when they perk up and look at you like" owo nya? :3c" hehe ~ penis-kun is happy to see me!!（＾ワ＾） and the most adorable thing ever is when sperm-sama comes out but theyre rlly shy so u have to work hard!!(๑•̀ㅁ•́๑)✧ but when penis-kun and sperm-sama meet and theyre blushing and all like "uwaaa~!" (ﾉ´ヮ´)ﾉ*: ･ﾟhehehe~penis-kun is so adorable (●´Д｀●)・:*:・

bobby ♥♥♥♥♥ i know karate ♥♥♥♥♥

You have to admit that minecraft requires far more creativity. Fortnite is fast paced and requires quick thinking, but minecraft players will win out in the job market for their slow contemplation and ability to plan something out and carefully execute it.

╔══╗
╚╗╔╝
╔╝(¯`v´¯)
╚══`.¸.✡ Israel ✡

Please try to avoid being toxic toward me or I will 100% invite to an mge. If you say "no," you're a ♥♥♥♥♥. If you say "yes," I'll 20-0 you and post on youtube. (Just a warning)

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..\: : : : : : : : : : :'\: : : : : : : : : : : : : :~,,: : : : : : : : : “~-.,_
...\ : : : : : : : : : : :\: /: : : : : :+rep : : : : : “,: : : : : : : : : : :"~,_
... .\: : : : : : : : : : :\|: : : : : : : : :_._ : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : : : : :”- .
... ...\: : : : : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : ( O ) : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : : : : : : '\._
... ... .\ : : : : : : : : : '\': : : : : : : :"*": : : : : : : :|: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : |0)
... ... ...\ : : : : : : : : : '\: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :/: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : /""
... ... .....\ : : : : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : : : : : ,-“: : : : : : : : : : : : : : : :/
... ... ... ...\ : : : : : : : : : \: : : : : : : : : _=" : : : : : ',_.: : : : : : : :,-“
... ... ... ... \,: : : : : : : : : \: :"”'~---~”" : : : : : : : : : : : : = :"”~~

PLEASE DON'T READ THIS. YOU WILL BE KISSED ON THE NEAREST POSSIBLE FRIDAY BY THE LOVE OF YOUR LIFE.TOMORROW WILL BE THE BEST DAY OF YOUR LIFE. NOW YOU'VE STARTED READING THIS. DON'T STOP. THIS IS SO FREAKY. 1. say your name 10 times 2. say your mom's name 5 times 3. say your crushes name 3 times 4. paste this to 4 other songs. if you do this, your crush will kiss you on the nearest Friday. but if you read this and do not paste this, then you will have very bad luck. SEND THIS TO 5 SONGS IN 143 MINUTES. WHEN YOU'RE DONE PRESS F6 AND YOUR CRUSH'S NAME WILL APPEAR IN BIG LETTERS ON THE SCREEN. THIS IS SO FREAKY BECAUSE IT ACTUALLY WORKS

Tonight, right at 12:00a.m., the person you like is going to realize they love you! Then, something is going to happen to you between 1:00 and 2:00p.m. Be ready for the greatest shock of your life. If you break this chain, you are going to have bad luck with love for a whole year. Send this to 10 people to see what happens!!

this isn't fake. apparently, if you copy and paste this to ten people in the next ten minutes you will have the best day of your life tommorrow. you will either get kissed or asked, out if you brake this chain you will see a little dead girl in yoour room tonight. in 35 mins someone... will say i love you or i'm sorry or i wanna go out with you your time start now (:

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║░▒║with this blade
║░▒║party rock is in the hou
║░▒║se tonight
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Say NO to drugs! :-)

Take the blunt, dip it in the lean, then light it
Pop a Molly, drink some orange juice, get higher