She isn't real...
I can't make her real...

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Really personal post incoming...

My mother passed away on September 1st of 2022, mostly in peace, in her house, in her bed. I'll not go into details, I just feel that I should post this here, since I don't use any kind of social media, all I'll say here is that she was the strongest woman I've known. Thanks to all the people that came to visit, there was lots of Bourbon, Cigarretes, Dark Humour and of course, memories and tears, it was almost just as she wanted it, and when I say almost is because there was a whole lot of people, something that she never really wanted, but that only shows us all the support and the love for her and for our family. Thanks for everything Mom. I was really drunk for 3 straight days but in my defense all I can say is that you were not here to tell me "Don't drink too much", so, that one's on you, but don't worry, I'll have it in mind from now on, just as you always said it every weekend when I was going out to have a good time or to rehalsals with my band. Maybe I'll see you again, just hope not to scare the ♥♥♥♥ out of you like when you stumble with me during the nights. Good bye, I'm missing you already.
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Today July 27th 2021 we've been informed that Joey Jordison died. He was the main reason why I became a Musician, and Drums is the only instrument I play with passion today. This hits low. Rest in peace #1.
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Today January 4th 2021 we received the news that Alexi Laiho died, and I have to admit, that I cried.
Rest in Peace Allu. You'll be missed.
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This one is dedicated to my best friend in the whole world:

Around 16 years ago, or even 17 years ago, (I never got the time right but it was at least 16 years ago) we first met, and Brother I remember everything, you know that I always remember everything about everything, and you know that ♥♥♥♥ better than anyone. I met you and we became best friends in the whole world, we had our fights, we had our differences, but we had great great times together, for days and nights for years. This is not easy, even tho I was preparing myself for a long time, this is one of the most difficult things I've been trough in all my life.

Brother, I know you had a great life, a great and long life, and I want to thank you for those 16 years and more that we spent together, were we laugh, cried, eat, sleep, talked... I'm gonna miss our late night conversations so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ much. You were the only one that knew everything and never told to anyone and for that I will remember you to the last day I walk on this planet.

Brother, I'm missing you already. I love you. There is no replacement for you. You helped me in my darkest hours, stood right next to me in all those sleepless nights trough the years, and we know that we did everything we could to stay together a little longer, this one has been close for a long, long ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ time, but I guess not even us could cheat death for too long, but we did cheat that ♥♥♥♥♥ a few times and for a long time and I would do it again and you know that.

Today is difficult, because for the first time in more than 16 years I feel lonely, knowing that you won't be here anymore makes me feel lonely, and it's hard, even tho I have great people beside me and the ones that left we choose them together and I know they are the right ones. But you... You've gone, and it is hard.

Copito, I'll miss you, you're not here anymore and the world has lost a little bit of his bright. You were not like any other Dog, you were my Brother. Thank you for those 16 years, I'm going to miss our conversations and how you listened to my new stories about my students. Farewell Brother. Until we meet again. I'll love you and miss you always, like the first day, like today, and on the last on my days.

19/05/2018