You might not know about it but Your mother and I had very loud, long, and passionate sexual intercourse last night. It was so loud, your neighbors called the police to report a noise complaint, the police thought your mother was in danger from how ear piercing her moans were, and ended up breaking down the door to find me shafting my 10.7 inch rock hard penis in and out of her tight vagina. They were so impressed they stayed to watch. I was shanking it, I was cranking it, and finally, I ejaculated so much it splattered throughout your entire house. I performed so well that your mother, the police, and your neighbors tipped me for it.

Rick: (offscreen, in the distance) Morty.
Morty: Rick?
Rick: (offscreen, in the distance) Morty!
Morty: Rick?
Rick: (offscreen, in the distance) Hey, Mooorty!
Morty: Rick? Are you far away, or are you inside something?
[Morty opens a cabinet beneath the bathroom sink]
Is this a camera?
Is everything a camera?
[Morty nervously glances around]
Rick: (offscreen, in the distance) Morty, the garage, Morty. Come to the garage!
Rick: Morty?
Morty: Rick? W-where are you?
Rick: On my work bench, Morty.
Morty: Are you invisible and you're gonna, like, fart on me?
Rick: Flip the pickle over.
Morty: What, I'm gonna touch it, and you're gonna tell me it's an alien ♥♥♥♥ or something.
Rick: Come on, flip the pickle, Morty. You're not gonna regret it. The payoff is huge. I turned myself into a pickle, Morty! Boom! Big reveal: I'm a pickle. What do you think about that? I turned myself into a pickle! W-what are you just staring at me for, bro. I turned myself into a pickle, Morty!

I went to this girl’s party the week after she beat the ♥♥♥♥ out of my friend. While everyone was getting trashed, I went around putting tuna inside all the curtain rods and so like weeks went by and they couldn’t figure out why the house smelled like festering death. They caught me through this video where these guys at the party were singing Beyoncé while I was in the background with a can of tuna.

+rep Good trader

+rep Good trader doesnt scam!