Qualifications
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- Professional Schizophrenic (Doctorate)
- Licensed Rat (Every State Except Michigan)
- Certified Forklift Driver (Globally)
- F.O.I.D. Card in accordance with my current ẹ̴̢̮͉͈̖͖͙̥̝͆͐̒̍͗͗̒͋̎̒̉̊̓͝m̸̨̺̟̥̦͇̆̃̾͒̉͗̌͒̇͒̓̀͆͗̾̔̾̎͘͜͝p̷̡̢̱͚͚̞̻͎̫̑̕ͅl̸̤̯̜̼͇̇̉̔̉̉̈́́̃̒̾̍̍̀͗̈́͒͗̾̓͝͝͝ơ̷̭͕̺̰͕̓̈́̈́͆̂́͗̈́̀̔̆̅̔͌̍͜y̵̢̢͚̳̻̰̪͚̲̭̜̳̼̣͍̪̗̘̹̆̿̈̋̈́̄͑͠ͅȇ̴͖̝̹̘̭̅̎̔̅̆̒͂̚͝r̵̛̠̓̃̐͑͂̃̽̓̎̆̃͗̃͑̍̆͐͆͗̈́̍̕
- Verified Enemy of the State
- Knows where you are
- Master Lock Pick
- Reforming After Last Pipe Bomb Incident
-(REDACTED)
- Non-corporeal
- Starving

Payments Accepted
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- Permanent Teeth (lbs)
- Robux
- Shag Carpet (tons)
- Funko Pops
- ̶T̶h̶e̶ ̶Q̶u̶e̶e̶n̶ ̶o̶f̶ ̶E̶n̶g̶l̶a̶n̶d̶ ̶(̶W̶h̶o̶l̶e̶)̶
- The Queen of England (Final Form)
- Jim Carrey (1/2)
- Jim Carrey (1/2)
- Chinese Take-out
- Neatly Folded Silk
- Ham (Fathom)
- USD
- NFTs
- Squirrels (Liter)
- Goats with Ornate horns
- Kroner
- Various forms of scrap metal
- Sealed Coffins
- Authentic pennies from 2001
- Molded Bread

Primary Contact Method:
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- Turn Around
- Discord
- Moments of Dread or Despair
- Masonic Lodge Bathrooms
- Hardware Store Backrooms
- Your Mother's House
- Outback Steakhouse Parking Lots
- Snapchat