pool noodles and hubris is crazy

hi

Ohhh Tyler. TYLER. You just know someone named Tyler has a Monster Energy fridge in their garage that no one’s allowed to touch except “the boys.” Tyler sounds like the kind of guy who unironically says, “Let’s rage,” before doing literally anything,
You ever met a Tyler who wasn’t just... vaguely sticky? Not dirty. Not sweaty. Just sticky. Like he’s been hugging jars of syrup and shame since birth. Tyler looks like he chews gum even when he’s not chewing gum.
Tyler is the human equivalent of a broken vape that still lights up but doesn’t do anything. He’ll show up to a funeral in neon board shorts and say, “It’s what she would’ve wanted, bro.”

You KNOW Tyler microwaves metal just to see “if it’ll fight back this time.” Tyler names his Wi-Fi something like “PrettyFly4AWiFi” and thinks he invented comedy. He once tried to adopt a hawk online and ended up getting scammed by a guy named Carl in Belarus.
I swear, if you ever hear someone say “That’s just Tyler being Tyler,” RUN. That man has either started a grease fire or is building a zipline from your roof to a trampoline made of pool noodles and hubris.
Tyler is the type of guy who eats pens. Like, full Bic. Ink and all. Says it “helps him focus.” Bro, focus on therapy. You named your car “Blaze” and it’s a 2002 Toyota Corolla with three hubcaps and an air freshener that smells like desperation and Axe body spra

+rep told me to play Umineko. Found myself in a closed room for a month

+rep tyler