Some say he's a disgruntled rogue lumberjack from the redwood forests of California, and eats only cheese

Others say he's an escaped EPA experiement in livestock control, that lives off sucking mositure from ducks.

Still more say his tears are adhesive, and he has never sat on Santa's lap.

No one knows for sure, but two things are certainly true, he has an axe, and he's called: The LandShark.