Recent reviews by Chad "The King" ThunderCuck

1080p hard baked max resolution.enough said.

the main gameplay loop consists of you swapping back and forth from red to blue to not take damage because taking damage gets rid of all your bonus power/healing/etc. the game is not fun, it actively punishes you brutaly for every little mistake that you make, quickly becoming a game of "play 100% perfectly or lose every single encounter" where you throw yourself at the wall until you memorize its attack patterns, then do the same for every new enemy you encounter. backtracking is so intense youll think this was an 8 screen long NES game with how often youll be walking back over places to get to some tiny little room thats story crucial (what little and poorly translate chenglish it is) that opened up. dont waste your time or money. the actual gameplay is pixel perfect high speed twitch fest where you dont have time to react and things are too fast paced (movement) to precicesly position yourself as needed.

also, its nowhere near the quality of writing youre expecting or anything youre going to recognize. its some random gibberish story using the public domain characters, by people who dont know how to write, in a language seemingly machine translated into english.

no plot. no story. once youve gone through the first level, youve seen the entire game. terrible balancing due to RNG dictating everything, sometimes (almost always) enemies will be a complete breeze and occasionally youll get one randomly spawned enemy with juuust the right random attributes to make them a death god and send you back to the hospital. guns are mostly boring, partially because of the fake low resolution where everything consists of an ultra tiny blocky sprite due to cheap lazy devs. speaking of lazy devs, enjoy spending 98% of every map frantically searching every wall several times over for the crucial bonuses for 100% a level, because the cracked wall texture looks almost identical to the regular texture and the "wind" noise is the softest sound effect in the entire game.

all in all its a 30 minute long game extended into much longer by having a ton of badly randomly generated samey-looking hallways and trap rooms. within the first few minutes, youve seen the entire game and its only gonna get worse from here.

hold A to follow poorly. hold A for several seconds to begin the process of collecting loot. hold A to slowly and methodically climb over cover and get shot because your character operates within a magical time bubble where everything is slowed down to 1/4 speed. the game is boring as all hell, and NEVER becomes good. it looks okay, but runs like complete trash. the gameplay consists of you riding around on your horse for hours on end trying to find ANYTHING of interest only to be ambushed by some random rednecks, making the wrong dialogue choice, and losing half your money to said rednecks. people react to your crimes from miles away, as though its NOT the old west. the "plot" is a bunch of boring side stories about characters youre not going to care about because literally none of them are even remotely likeable. the tutorlial is a 2 hour long session of holding A to follow other people, and a handful of gunshots while dutch yells at you to stop looting bodies and "join the rest of us"

its genshin impact but worse. youd think that the people in charge of the franchise would have realized that phantasy star fans wanna explore different worlds, not sit on 1 island paradise world for the entire game, but honestly they have had a HUGE disconnect with the fandom ever since PSU, where they killed an active and loved game because it was making money, just not enough for their tastes.

if you can get it for ~$10, go for it. otherwise dont bother. the actual game is only about 4 hours long, painfully stretched out by making you go through each floor 1-5 times before you can progress to the next one, and giving you almost no inventory space/equipment durability to force you to go back and forth over and over. fast travel mechanics dont unlock until they arent of any real value. the first half of the game is a poorly made rehash of the first season of the anime, except almost every "cutscene" takes place in visual novel style, with 1 or more character models just standing there staring at your screen, delivering lines in the most lackluster "i dont want to be here" manner. its also completely effortless, and not any fun whatsoever unless you simp REALLY hard for the anime, and somehow dont mind this terrible version of it. the 2nd half of the game is the actual game, but its designed more around disrespecting the player and wasting your time, then allowing progression. it was very clearly NOT tested to any degree, as certain areas of the game are borderline impossible to get through without cheating, following a video guide, or already knowing the single possible path to take to progress. 2nd half has an enemy that will poison you, and said poison will never stop until youre dead, UNLESS you first found the secret cutscene to find nanachi AND finished her long, 15 step fetch quest. otherwise, youre screwed, and will soon be dead. combat is trash. you have just a single basic attack, and after leveling up a skill tree you get access to a basic 2-3 hit combo and/or charge attacks. either way though, you just spam the 1 attack you have from the 1 weapon thats worth having. theres no sense of wonder or exporation, and dispite what some of the other reviews say here, the areas are absolutely nothing special looking. on average youre looking at early PS3 graphics, and early ps1 gameplay. worst of all, the entire game is a bug filled mess and very clearly had NO QA testing done. every single map has dozens of spots where you can be walking along and...BAM! stuck in an infinite falling cycle because of poor geometry. the bug enemies have a strange quirk to their model, where if you touch them they are treated like a bicycle ramp, and youre sent launched into the air and to the side. and said bugs are EXCLUSIVELY placed in spots where touching them flings you off a cliff to your death. the entirety of layer 3, like literally every single inch of that map was very clearly not tested at all.

stay far away. the game HAD potential, but the developers have committed to spamming copy/pasted crafting tables and trash tier worthless food instead of meaningful content. they are dedicated to increasing the amount of grind to artificially inflate playtime through sheer number of objects in the game, and achievement hunting. its like stardew, but the people in charge dont care anywhere near as much and it shows. every new update introduces more bugs, and old bugs are ignored. devs have moved on to assett flipping this game into another, and we were only at V0.7 when they announced that decision.

complete waste of time. machine translated chinglish thats completely incomprehensible, the actual "game" is just a "spot the difference" game, with your progression path being decided based on which response in broken incomprehensible "english" you choose. most do not end in the fap material you are here for, most end in very poor quality "art".

good quality artwork, but terrible writing thats often borderline chenglish, and no actual gameplay as the "game" portions literally play themselves. a bunch of "stats" that seemingly have no actual effect on the game and cant be raised. this is less a game, and more a very very poorly translated VN.

missing features, missing settings, tons of missing information, and an overall poorer experience than the free version that looks like a busted spreadsheet. wanna play dwarf fortress? play the free version, not this busted over-priced abomination. this here is $30 for LESS of a game, and a slightly improved tileset.