Alright I feel it is my public duty to tell everyone a little something about this guy before they decide to add him. Yeah we worked in the deli together long hours of frying up chicken and handling sliced meats. This dude was a idolized closing manager. The perfect employee. Nobody ever second guessed his word; but that all came tumbling down one day. It was good Friday, April 7th, and we were as busy as ever. Our coworker Guillermo (Argentina) and I were busy scraping the fryer and filtering the oil getting ready for another wave of angry chuds all wanting some of our pollo. When this guy here says "I'll be back.. I gotta cure the meat before you can put it in." Big G an myself both made eye contact and found this odd but like I said this dudes word was like law. Nearly 30 minutes go by and the masses are ranting and raving pounding on our gates.

I rush back to the cooler where he slinked away to find out what's taking so friggin long... Sure as Sh!t what I saw with my eyes I will take to my grave. This motherfuc ker was balls deep in the chicken. A mass of chicken tenderloins compressed into a rough cylinder and he was just going to town on them. Looked me dead in my eyes an said "what bro you want a turn to??" When I tell you I darted out of that freezer fast as the Dickens. In my 32 years on this planet I've never seen somebody get fired so quickly. The manager was on his ass faster than you could say salmonella. Listen buddy if you see this i want you to know there should be a prison cell with your name on it.

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Really? I mean really? I spent 30 minutes trying to send you a picture of my♥♥♥♥♥♥♥and this is what I get. You don't know the struggle, having to get the perfect angle that makes me look well endowed all the while trying to keep a full erection. After all that effort all you have to say is "lol"? You didn't even send anything back, I think after all that effort I deserve ATLEAST a ♥♥♥♥♥. I'll have you know plenty of other girls before you have given me no complaints as they quiver on the bed. My member has the power to make women quake in their boots and tremble with pleasure. To top it all off you block me and I had to find you here to leave this last message. Well you know what no. My disappointment is immeasurable, and my day is ruined. All that is to you. ♥♥♥♥♥

I can lift a fully-grown horse above my head, and I can hold my breath for two minutes. To settle a wager, I once ate a pound of P.B. Foukes strongest badger poison and then ran a mile in the nude. I cannot feel pain, and I can see for two miles unaided by a lens. No man can kill me. I have beaten a man of every race in formal combat, including a Turk, a pygmy negro man, and a rare deepwater Jew. A medical doctor and two priests have written and signed a document confirming that I have no soul.

oh.