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As the owner of the Glitchless WR Death speedrun, I can safely say starting the game, jumping off the shuttle before it lands, and dying before the timer starts is definitely the highlight of my career. And I peaked 5 seconds in!

Also the game is terrifying, you should buy it.

UPDATE: I got fired on my second job.

I paid $4 and I was still ripped off.

I spent my first case drinking, picking fights with cops, beating up suspects, robbing the scene of the crime - and also the bureau - and littering.

Nota D. Tective is going to have a long, not-so-illustrious career in not solving a damn thing any time soon.

Don't let the play time fool you.

I got thrown like 5 times listening to the intro. As soon as I was in control, I told off the first guy, calling him a Walmart clothes wearing piece of ♥♥♥♥. Then I did some drugs from the Mexican Cartel. Then when I got caught I refused to take *any* accountability.

5/5 hooked already gonna share this with friends.

To keep it short: I really, really expected more. And it actually pains me a bit to give this game a negative review.

Is the game itself bad? Not exactly, but it could've been so, so much more. The inventory system feels right out of the PS1 era. The music and visuals are a perfect fit and really do a lot of the heavy lifting here, but unfortunately that's about where the fun ends.

If you played the demo, you played the bulk of the game. Beyond that, the game boils down to "grab this item, bring it here" a few times, and then a completely anti-climactic ending.

i didn't expect a AAA title, but I hoped for more than a mere 2 hours of walking without any form of tension.

How do I put this into words?

Well, to start, the game is an absolute masterpiece, deserving of the praise. However, despite the positive review, I will say right up front: I do not, and will not ever, approve of the delayed addition of the Exclusive Tickets. The rest of the game, however, has been an absolute blast to play through.

I'll start off with the atmosphere. It's wonderfully crafted, and a far cry from the original, leaning more into horror aspects than goofy comedy - although I do miss the camp, and running from giant statues. Where the original felt more like an action game, the remake feels more like a horror game. Even with all the cool new abilities and the ability to parry a CHAINSAW, I cannot say enough good things about the atmosphere. Dark, scary, with traps and enemies laying around many corners, you can be sure you're going to feel tension and concern for what might be next.

The audio design is wonderful, taking a page from more recent titles and improving on it substantially. Each music track felt energetic and fitting, really helping to engage you in the heat of the moment. With the DLC addition of the original score, you also have the option for just a few dollars more. The weapons sound beefy and powerful too, with handguns feeling less like toys and more like a legitimate threat to your enemies, all the way up to Magnums sounding like the handcannons they are. The panting of both Leon and Ashley gets a bit grating though, even if you've only been running for a minute or so, and the grunting almost every single time your weapon can be annoying. And, while there has been some controversy, the voice actress for Ada feels a bit flat, even given her character. But I personally didn't really think anything of it on my first playthrough, so your mileage may vary.

And speaking of weapons, the variety we're used to is back, offering options for both crowd control and single-target, each weapon can become a viable tool of destruction. While I opted for the famous Red 9 in 2005, this time I gave the Blacktail a try, and I was certainly pleased with my choice, even if I did lean back into the semi-auto rifle like the good ol' days. At least I gave the TMP a try this time, and I was definitely as attached as the stock. I mentioned parrying chainsaws too. This time around, the knife has limited durability, but surprisingly it doesn't become a concern unless you're using it far too much. You can parry most attacks that come your way, both from regular enemies and bosses, and with some practice, you'll find comfort in knowing you can fight more aggressively. The old upgrade system returns, Exclusive upgrades and all, even if some changes have been made (Such as the base shotgun no longer having unlimited range, it has a more simple 2x damage modifier).

The faithfulness of this remake has been carefully considered, with some areas being removed and others being expanded on, and most of the boss fights we remember are here. And of course... The dog, the myth, the legend returns to help you. Just keep an ear out for your buddy. For newcomers to the game, you'll know what I mean. Some new features have also been included to make up for the cut content, including stealth kills and crouching, and trinkets to award small, passive buffs such as movement speed and bonus ammo crafted.

Overall, the game is wonderful, joyous, and very well done. And now that The Mercenaries mode has returned in most of it's glory - hopefully "all" later - now is the best time to grab this game and experience what really needed improving on. Even I was shocked, being in the "It doesn't need a remake" camp, and can safely say this is my new favourite REmake title since REmake 2.

Runs like ♥♥♥♥. Looks like ♥♥♥♥. Plays like ♥♥♥♥.

10/10 would ♥♥♥♥ again.

Many hours did I spend in the 360 era, and many hours did I spend here. But maybe not enough.

You don't need a review to remember this gem, but I feel like putting it in words all the same. The fast-paced gameplay, the intense gunfights, the incredible multiplayer... Man, never in my life did I feel quite at home as when I had 13 year olds screaming terrible words at me when I killed them with a Chopper Gunner for the 15th time.

Good times.

I made my dwarf look like an angry Scotsman, then I worked really, really hard and the company acknowledged my efforts. They even gave me a promotion!

10/10 would rock and stone again.

Shockingly mesmerising story with a sprinkling of 18+ content.

I honestly thought I was going to be bored, despite my love of catgirls, but I ended up engrossed to the very end. Came for the H, stayed for the plot.

Plus Cynthia is just an absolute sweetheart and I would absolutely recommend this to any VN fan.