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Missouri, United States
To whom it may concern (and those lucky enough to witness this sacred moment),
It is with great solemnity and the blessing of the Entity Herself that we formally announce the induction of Sorcerous Flea into the ancient and revered Dwight Cult — a sacred brotherhood of crouch-walking, locker-diving, spine-chill-wearing warriors.
As High Overseer of Dwight Affairs™, I, Nadizarna, have personally observed your tireless dedication to screaming, hiding behind pallets, and nervously fixing gens with the vigor of a caffeinated meerkat. You are everything we aspire to be: anxious, loyal, and alarmingly sweaty.
You now bear the sacred responsibilities of:
Offering emotional support to teammates by pointing at nothing and tea-bagging in Morse code
Crying during skill checks as a form of prayer
May your flashlight saves be blinding and your lockers always empty. Welcome to the fold, Brother Dwight. You are one of us now.