Recent reviews by Taggart

uoooooh 😭 child metallic 😭 😭
child's cogs and servos... metallic 😭 😭

seriously a good game, though - worth it

Space Marine is the kind of game you'd think wouldn't work in practice. For a start, you're playing as the Ultrasmurfs. And then it combines hack & slash and third person shooter gameplay.

Well, you'd think wrong. Space Marine has done an amazing job of not only not making the Ultramarines continue to suck ass (with the player character, Captain Titus (first name unknown, assumed "♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥"), outright denouncing some of Matt Ward's horrible fluff and basically throwing a gigantic power middle finger to him) but also of combining the hack & slash and gunplay - you can seamlessly switch between blasting holes in orks and cutting their arms off, and watch as Titus bathes in blood as you do. It's amazing.

The Campaign is pretty baller. The first five minutes of the game quickly show you that Titus GETS ♥♥♥♥ DONE, as evidenced when his dilemma of being unable to land is quickly solved by simply jumping onto the offending Ork ship, massacring the greenskins on board, and then BLOWING IT UP WITH IT'S OWN CANNON. What a badass. Titus, with Brother Sergeant Sidonus and Brother Leandros (who is basically Matt Ward's Ultramarine: The Character) then proceeds to continue GETTING ♥♥♥♥ DONE as he paves his way through a seemingly endless tide of Orks, and later has to beat the everloving ♥♥♥♥ out of Chaos. He does.

The Multiplayer, too, is nothing to be scoffed at. Both PVP and Coop are present, with the former encompassing such standard gamemodes as Annihilation (Team Deathmatch), Capture the Flag, and Seize Territory, and the latter being Exterminatus - which, simply put, is "Four marines, 20 stages, DO THE EMPEROR PROUD THIS DAY." Multiplayer characters are able to be customised to your heart's content (both Loyalist and Chaos Marines), with a nice choice of existing chapters placed before you, and the option to customise those further or just throw your own armies in. There is a level system that unlocks weapons and perks, and challenges to unlock new bits of armour, but it honestly doesn't feel like a grind. Before you know it, you'll be dashing around crushing Chaos Marines under your Thunder Hammer while you are decked out in Blingin' Veteran armour.

The DLC, too, is pretty good. Chaos Unleashed gives Exterminatus a Chaos tint: Four Chaos marines, 20 stages, BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD. Orks recur, but the Chaos Marines and Renegades of Exterminatus are replaced with the Imperial Guard (including Psykers) and Space Marines. The Dreadnought DLC adds a new mode in which teams fight for a point to unlock a Dreadnought (which, as expected, chews through the standard marines) before fighting for points with it. If the Dreadnought is destroyed, players must once more fight for the chance to wield it.

In short: Space Marine is amazing. If you've ever wanted to be an 8 foot tall killing machine that punches Gretchin to restore his health, rips Orks apart for breakfast, and finishes with an appetizer of Chaos, this is your game. If you'd rather play an 8 foot tall killing machine that punches Guardsmen for health, rips Orks apart for breakfast, and finishes with an appetizer of Space Marine, this is also your game. Hell, if you're a Warhammer 40K fan, THIS IS YOUR GAME. This is definitely one of the best 40K games ever made, and deserves the support.

And who knows, maybe we'll end up actually getting Space Marine 2. A sequel I would pay full price for.

WELCOME. TO. BATTLE. SOLDIER.

THIS IS. THE. MOST. REALISTIC. EXPERIENCE. YOU. ARE. BREAK.

GOING. TO. GET. OVER. FIGHT. AS. THE. AMERICANS. AS. YOU. DISH. OUT. FREEDOM. TO. THOSE. COMMUNIST. AND. TERRORIST. SYMPATHIZERS.

ENEMY. TANK. TO OUR. LEFT.

1 IS HIT!

Monday Night Combat is possibly the best example of western consumerism you'll ever see. After all, who else would knock down the Great Pyramids because they'd "gone out of style"?

Monday Night Combat pits two teams (The Hotshots and the Icemen, who are Orange and Blue respectively) against each other in a battle to look cool as ♥♥♥♥. 6 different Pros are selectable, ranging from the executively cool Assault, who advises you to step aside due to his large step-taking, to the mentally deranged Sniper, who will more than likely want an official review on every kill that isn't his. Also in the playing leagues are bots, ranging from the Slim, a small, easy to destroy robot, to the Bouncer, a heavy, gorrila like bot that will easily turn Pros into Mash. Also on the playing field after being banned for 10 seasons is the JACKBOT XL, a heavy robot that only wants a cuddle but ends up killing those he attempts to cuddle.

Please note: Not restricted to Monday.

Left 4 Dead 2 is Valve's documentary-styled take on modern genocide. You are thrown into a world where the only people left are hunted down by groups of murderers, normally guising themselves as "Survivors", and referring to those they murder as "Zombies", "Walking Dead", "Infected" and even "Vampires".

The documentary involves four main murderers - Coach, an ex-highschool sports coach turned cheeseburger-loving psychopath, Nick, a Conman who prefers to shoot those he cons, Ellis, a mechanic who has had one too many "accidents" in his garage, and Rochelle, the TV reporter who's crew mysteriously vanished. Twice.

These four evil degenerates chase the population of New Orleans literally to the death, fighting on with anything from frying pans to miniguns. The poor population attempts to respond with Bodybuilders, McDonalds regulars, Soccer Moms, Parkour Enthusiasts, Circus Joyriders, Rock Climbers and even Divorced Widows, but in the end, the Murderers kill them all.

10/10.

Mirror's Edge is a thrilling tale of the deconstruction of the City Protection Force, or CPF, at the hands of Pirandello Kruger Security. Throughout the game, you are shown just how little power the CPF has due to PK, fighting through hordes of PK goons in the hopes of finding one, JUST ONE, CPF officer on shift. This amazing family story will have you literally on the edge of your seat from start to finish.

You'll never have more fun simulating hats!