Recent reviews by Fertility Gaming

Look, I ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ love this game. I REALLY love the Heavy/Medium/Light class system that was taken from Brink, I love the core gameplay loop, I love the artstyle, the in-game universe, the cosmetics, the soundtrack, the coffee emote, whatever. I love throwing vaults to my buddies, and having my buddies throw them to me while it's hurtling at 90mph, and ACTUALLY catching it while it's mid-air. I love grappling around the maps, destroying the huge structures, sliding into jump-pads, putting 4 mines down onto a chokepoint, killing someone with a potted plant, stealing a cashout while both it and I are falling and successfully taking it for my team, etc.

But I HATE playing this game as it stands right now. I would love if it was more casual-oriented, because in all honesty I want a proper, fun casual game to play that isn't filled with bots or has a character than can one-shot you if you play 5 (6 depending on weapon choice) of the 9 characters in the game within 0.1 second, but it's clear that the developers aren't going for the casual gameplay anymore, especially after this terribly designed new "competitive" mode dropped. So, if anyone from Embark reads this, here's my advice:

1> Put a 1-class-per-team limit in the 3-player team modes, or at the very least put it in Ranked Tournaments, and put a 2-class-per-team limit on the 5-player team modes. It would be weird to make this system fluid for players but do whatever needs to be done in order to make it as easy to use as possible.

2> Balance Medium to be a proper support class. Lower his damage across the board if necessary, or give him back Motion Sensor and Tracking Dart. Give Heavy his Guardian Turret over the Goo Gun, buff it if necessary, and give Medium some kind of specialization that buffs a teammate's movement and reload speed like some kind of Adrenaline, or a deployable specialization that slowly regenerates HP but has no overheat and has low health. It doesn't have to be specifically either of those, but having another support-oriented ability would be nice to have.

3> Fix the ADS animations for all weapons to massively reduce visual recoil, and have the front sight of the gun be completely centered with the screen at all times while firing, EXCEPT for the sniper. It's fine as is right now, it doesn't need any changes (besides removing it entirely but that's a void hope.)

4> (low priority but still a notable suggestion) Replace Cloaking Device with Vanishing Bomb and increase it's active time by another 1.5 seconds for both you and your teammates. This would make cloaking a much more strategic and tactical ability and give more assistance to your team than just you sneaking up behind some guy with the Cloaking Device, stunning him, and unloading your entire XP-54 into him for no reason other than 'le kill.'

5> Make completing all your dailies in a week give you a small amount of credits, around 100. Currently, the only way to get credits for free is from in-game events or specific rewards from the career circuit. As much as I understand that the game is free-to-play, the biggest issue I have right now is the lack of consideration for free players and their choices of customization. You get 50 cosmetics from career levelling alone, but the latter 20 or so are orange reskins of ♥♥♥♥ you already have. Maybe another 50 career levels would work too, but I see no harm to your profit quota in allowing people to get literally one US Dollar's worth of credits from being a consistent player. Some skins in the store cost 8 dollars in credits, so they need to be consistently playing the game DAILY for 8 weeks in order to get one 800 credit cosmetic. That's not unreasonable compared to what we have now.

6> Make headshots deal less damage (or no damage) depending on the class. Lights should not be able to get headshot, they are JUST fine getting mowed down by an AK, M11, or M60 right now, there's no reason for them to take headshot damage with how small their health pool is already.. Mediums should take the current amount of headshot damage, but Heavies should take 25% MORE headshot damage. This may seem unreasonable but like I said, with how hard it is to usually hit headshots in this game, what with the current aiming issues, I think it's more than fair to nerf Heavy by just that much. It makes no sense to me why he's so powerful in combat even though he's more for defense than offense, and yet there he stands atop my corpse.

7> Add Healing Beam back to Attack/Defend but rework it specifically within the mode. Make it to where it's heat value decays 2 or 3 times slower, and if you overheat it, you can't use it at all afterward. I think that's more than fair, honestly, and it again gives Medium his support role back.

8> Make Goo Gun a gadget. I honestly don't understand why it should be a specialization, as it replaces two other more important abilities for both offense and defense respectively, and I feel it's not as game-changing to warrant it being a specialization in the first place. It feels like having it doesn't really impact the game as much, though having said that I do admit it can be used in pretty damn clever ways, like bridges, scaffolding, goo fields on fire, etc., but again, I don't consider it to be THAT much of a game-changer in the same way that Mesh Shield and Charge n' Slam are.

9> Buff C4. No idea why it does less damage than the Breaching Charge, but I find it having zero use compared to Frag Grenades other than structural damage and cashout ambushes, and I already have Charge n' Slam, the RPG, and the MGL, so yeah, I find zero use for it simply because of how piss-poor it's damage is. Maybe 175, 180 or 200 damage instead? I don't know, I just want to use it but It's not really that practical.

10> Add an option to disable FOV-changing effects. I genuinely cannot use the Evasive Dash because of how disorienting the FOV change is.

11> (high priority) remove the goth skin please i beg of you :steamhappy:

it's fine i guess? idk

Honestly, this is one of my new favourite addictions. This has got to be the most fun free-to-play game I've played since Team Fortress 2; and even though that's not hard to top, here's credit where credit is due.

I really like how intuitive the combat and jank is. On my latest run, I barely crafted anything, and I just farmed the battle totems to get powerups and coins to buy more chests. When I died to a three-stack Guardian on a battle totem, I had 3 of the 5 gems, and I had the ancient bow and 5 ancient cores. I also got a fireball too. In that run alone, I had defeated every individual boss by day 5.

So pro-tip to beginners: do not play this like any other game. Trust me, it ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ hurts to play it like that. Just understand the movement and combat flow, your time limit, and rush. Do not spend time building up a base, as I imagine it would only be for naught by the end of your run.

Obviously I have my own personal issues with this game, e.g. the Guardian's laser move, but it really pales in comparison to the rest of the game. To have a game be like this for me is so... refreshing. This is one of the most casual experiences I have played in years, and I'm so glad to have found it in a time when I'm just trying to find more casual games. ♥♥♥♥, despite the fact this looks like it was made in 5 minutes, it plays like it's been in development hell, rebooted, and given the DOOM 2016 treatment. This is such a good ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ game. I love it.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1JNpc0JiV34

One of, if not, the best Gamecube games ever made, let alone an amazing port. Never crashed, never stuttered, no problems at all. Simple, effective, and amazingly designed gameplay, beautiful art direction, memorable characters, cutscenes, and a whole plethora of raw creativity. Truly a classic, and a masterpiece.

This game is fun only when you play solo and ♥♥♥♥ around in Silver 1. Don't go higher, because then people get way too ♥♥♥♥♥' toxic.

Half-Life is a series I forever grew up with. My first fps was Half-Life, my most distinct memory being the water-barrel part where you release the barrels that are underwater to make a makeshift bridge. Half-Life 2 would be a game I'd find pretty annoying to play at times, but not as bad as Xen or Interloper in Half-Life. Valve is a company that I've lived with for my entire life, and not only have I lived with them, I've lived in them. The countless years grinding Team Fortress 2, the highly-ummemorable moments I had while playing CS:S, all of it thanks to Valve.

My grandfather gave us a head-start on technology when we were younger, my first keyboard I ever laid my fingertips upon was when I was 3. That's when I first played Half-Life, and it's while fueled my insatiable love for FPS like DOOM, Team Fortress 2, TITANFALL, the list goes on. He was the finest mind of his generation, a great mechanic, excellent IT. However, his mind didn't go well mentally. My mother died when I was 2, and he grieved too much for his well being, to the point of alcoholism. He'd often drink more when he took me with him to live in Kentucky, after a love affair with an old high-school friend. He became depressed, and wanted to forget. I didn't really see it at the time, I was rather gullible and dense. Fast forward 2 years, and he took his life after being accused of sexual misconduct against a minor. I lived with 3 cousins, the 4th however being stuck with his abusive father. In total, he had 8-9 people living under his roof, and he was the only provider. He wouldn't have done such a thing; not with that much on the line. He was an incredibly smart man, incredibly decisive as well. I ended up going to my grandmother's in Oklahoma, where his ashes remain to this day.

Fast forward to Half-Life: Alyx's reveal trailer, I'm crying my eyes out screaming, yelling "YES! YES! FINALLY..!", and feeling the happiest and most ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ fulfilled person in the entire ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ world, ECSTATIC, ERRATIC! I heard that every Half-Life game was going to be free until it's launch, so BOOM-♥♥♥♥♥♥♥-DIYAH! I immediately download every Half-Life game (except for blue shift, I don't really want to play that one), even Opposing Force and Deathmatch. Replay Half-Life, modded to make it look somewhat like Black Mesa/Black Mesa: Source, and feel a immediate surge of emotion when I get to that barrel section. "I was here before!", I exclaimed! "But how do you do it?" It took me 15 minutes to know how to get the barrels out. I'm a slow thinker, turns out. Beat Nihilanth, and feel sense of accomplishment that could last 15 life-times. Beat Opposing Force, was shorter than I'd thought it would be, not a bad experience. Replay Half-Life 2 for the second time on this computer (I played Cinematic Mod, wasn't bad, the music choices were okay, the whole ordeal wasn't all too good, annoying to play sometimes, but that's just Half-Life 2), and blow up the teleporter faster than I thought you normally could. I felt a sense of pride after that. Play Episode 1, which I never really liked nor remembered. It just wasn't even that memorable and the pacing was kinda ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ at times, but still enjoyable nonetheless. Get to the train, and beat the game. Average cliffhanger, worse than the previous one in Half-Life 2, but whatever. Play Episode 2, constantly waiting to get to the Vortal Combat area (I had been listening to it off and on for the past month while replaying the previous games), did it, feel a serotonin surge, pure bliss. Find a skeleton. Name it Eric. Find a cleaner, more intact skeleton with more bones and jaw. Name it Leet Erickstley after an old inside joke a few friends of mine back in highschool had. Take it all the way to the rocket. Close Silo 2, see the advisor that I never knew was there before, and kinda get a tear in my eye. I had already played all of Half-Life 2: Episode 2 and knew what was gonna happen. I wish I didn't. I wish I never did.

Get back to Eli, and I'm just tearing up as he's in grief. I grew up with a person not giving me sympathy, but somehow became very sympathetic. He begins his monologue about how he knew G-Man was behind all this, and, for the first time in a long time, I just felt genuine anguish. I never wanted to feel true pain, but in the form of a game, my medium of not only entertainment, but true communication, I felt the harshest, densest pain imaginable: sympathy. Take care of the striders, head back to Alyx. I thought she'd hug me for some reason but she didn't. She mocked me about expecting a hug from Magnusson, so I guess that's just a psychological kick in the teeth manufactured by Your's Truly. Arrive to Eli, have him tell me he's couldn't be prouder of me if I weren't his own son, which I cant have said how much that line meant to me. Watch the metal, plasmatic fireworks pollute the air with the finest air the world's seen in... what, 2 decades? I digress, while right next to Eli and Alyx. Arrive to the helicopter. I stop. I don't want this to happen, I never wanted this to happen. I never wanted a charact- No, a person I felt such a strong bond with die to some telekinetic parasites, I couldn't. But that would be the same as putting Gordon back in stasis. Then I thought to myself... "No. A soul for a soul. If he dies, then Gordon lives, and stops the combine. If he doesn't die... the combine stop, but Gordon stops aswell. The most prized man the world, the galaxy, the universe could offer, and I just keep him locked in a box that at any moment can cease to exist, killing him with it? I won't. But I must. For I have no eyes, I must see the truth."

Beat Episode 2.

And cry, for a solid 3 minutes before composing myself.

Half-Life was my parent growing up, but it abandoned me. It abandoned me at my most vulnerable moment. Valve was our parents growing up, but they abandoned us. They abandoned us at our most vulnerable moment. I live everyday of my life thinking that I'll die before I even get to see gameplay, nor even an official/non-official-official teaser for Half-Life 3. I want to see Gordon succeed, I want to see Alyx be happy again, I want to see Barney crack open a cold one with me, I want Kleiner to find Lamarr... but will it happen? We had been lied to about Half-Life 3 for 13 years, and Valve duct-taped themselves shut, every hole of their body is sealed, and you bet your ass lips qualify. I hate Valve for trying to think popularity is gonna get money, when TF2, a game MADE to sell ♥♥♥♥ nowadays, is ranking in more money annually than CS:GO ever could. I hate that Valve stopped making stories, rather publishing them. I hate Valve for thinking that Multiplayer is better than good writing with a cardboard cutout as your protagonist, and I hate Valve for using me as a pawn to hype up a game that's nonexistant and virtually not even conceptually real at this point. But do I really hate Valve... Or do I miss them? Replacing every hate in that hate blurb with miss checks out, so... Do I miss them? No, no, definitely not...

...

I do miss them don't I? I miss old Valve, the Valve that strived to make things their way, to make things for others, to make others make things to make others enjoy other's things. I miss Valve. There is no Valve nowadays. There's only a hallow husk of what used to be. A Stalker. And that's truly dramatic irony right there.

With Half-Life: Alyx coming out incredibly soon, DOOM Eternal dropping Friday, and my hype phallus getting extraordinarily hyped... I only wish Valve return to their old, muddied-waters way.

Valve, if any employee reads this, if Gabe reads it christ-out-loud, please give me, give us, what we've yearned for for oh, so, so long. We miss you. Please don't leave us.

okay i'm gonna be real i was about to write the entire script for some reason, but i guess i should bring up only the bad parts about the game.

the animations sucks ass to be honest, the sound design is ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ awkward, the gunplay and enemy design is uninspired and rather comparable to Plutonia Experiment's overuse of the chaingunner, and the story doesn't make you feel as if you are a doom slayer, a soulfull soulless lost soul, it makes you feel like you're important, but not TOO important. i honestly wish Half-Life 2 wasn't like this. it's said to be one of the best games in recent history, but... people give it way too much credit. sure, the opening scene before getting your crowbar is probably one of, if not, THE most memorable scene in gaming, with breen recognizing and emphasizing your presence, and looking towards you with immaculate surprise, it's an adrenaline rush lasting a life time. but it's a shame that 3 may never even come out, and its a shame kelly bailey may never come back, and its a shame that everyone seems to think half-life: alyx is bad just cause it's a vr game.

however, half-life 2 is still a strong game, even in a over-saturated industry and over-populated, dystopian world. it's still the best shooter valve has made, and even if all the stuff i mentioned ruins it for specifically me, then i can just mod the damn game! half-life was my first fps, and my first computer game. valve was my father, and my family his uncle. i'll never forget this game, nor will i forget all the great times i've had in earlier years. ♥♥♥♥ blizzard, ♥♥♥♥ activision, ♥♥♥♥ cod, ♥♥♥♥ every other game. give me half-life 2 as my final meal and you know i'll enjoy every second of it.

DarkRP's good. That's it.

DOOM II: Hell On Earth is the original successor to DOOM, and it deserving so. This game comes packed with 32 new maps, a new weapon, 2 new enemies, and a new boss. In it's day and age, this is the grandfather of all First-Person shooters alike.

First, lets discuss the mechanics:

-No more shall Episodes fluctuate, now there are just a set of 32 maps, 2 of which are secret maps, which I will not spoil. (even though this is a 25 year old game)

-New weapon: Double Shotgun. This bad boy can put so much lead into a demon, however, equivalent exchange exists, so it takes 1 extra shell than your usual shotgun, but 4x the damage output.

-New enemies:
- Archvile, it lives up to its name. This demon can tear through your body by using flames to burn you alive and send you straight up high. Be warned though, it can revive other demons aswell, so take it out FAST.

-Revenant, this anorexic lookn' fella can also take you out in a pinch. This demon fires shoulder-mounted rockets that are also HOMING shoulder-mounter rockets, so you also wanna take this guy out fast.

-New boss: The Icon Of Sin, this goat-skull-embedded wall of flesh is the final boss to the entire game, but its not too easy to take out. Save up on your ammo and take this disgusting, smelly bastard out.

With all that being said, what are the pros and cons of DOOM II that come to mind while playing?

Pros:
-Memorable soundtrack that just gets that adrenaline pumping, like its predecessor, DOOM.
-Good map design that really makes you explore.
-Great enemy design and silhouettes, for making out which ones which.
-Perfect challenge for those who loved DOOM.

Cons:
-No clear direction for where to go on some maps.
-Secrets are somewhat harder to find than in DOOM.
-Not really viable to play vanilla nowadays.

So do I recommend this game? Yes, but only if you get GZDoom or Zandronun, and mod the hell out of it.

7/10.