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I can no longer resist the pizza. I open the box and unzip my pants with my other hand. As I penetrate the gooey cheese, I moan in ecstacy. The mushrooms and Italian sausage are rough, but the sauce is deliciously soothing. I blow my load in seconds. As you leave the bathroom, I exit through the front door….

Hey ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥, My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any ♥♥♥♥♥? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook. Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; ♥♥♥♥ was SO cash). You are all ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening. Pic Related: It’s me and my ♥♥♥♥♥

dude ur uninvited to my birthday party at chucke's cheese. Therefore: Your not even gonna get 2 ice cream sandwiches, your not gonna get to eat chucke's cheese, your not gonna get to blow out the cheesey candles, your not gonna get to lick the cheese, your not even gonna get to take a slurp from chucke's secret straw, your not even gonna get to lick the slime under the cheese counter, your not gonna get to ride chucke's cheese, your not even gonna get licked by chucke the cheese, your not even gonna get naked time with chuck, your not gonna get to take the cheese shower, your not even gonna get the special cheese, your not even gonna get to ride the cheesey slide, your not even gonna get chucked by Mr Cheese, your not even gonna get to sniff chucke's cheese hole, your not gonna get the "cheesey chair suprise" your not even gonna get to to go to the cheese closet with chuckey, and your not even gonna get to have a sleepy time with chuckey video session.