Dear Gabe, I wrote you but you still ain’t callin'

I left my phone, my Steam account, and my Discord at the bottom
I sent two letters back when Alyx was released, you must not've got 'em
There prob'y was a problem with my wi-fi or somethin'
I may have scribbled the neighbor's password too sloppy when they let me babysittin' their house
But anyways, ♥♥♥♥ it, what's been up, man? How's your daughter?
My girlfriend's pregnant too, I'm 'bout to be a father
If I have a daughter, guess what I'ma call her? I'ma name her Barney
I read about your Uncle Three too, I'm sorry
I had a friend lost some ♥♥♥♥♥ from who playing Dota 2
I know you prob'ly hear this every day, but I'm your biggest fan
I even got the underground ♥♥♥♥ that you did with Microsoft
I got a room full of your posters and your pictures, man
I like the ♥♥♥♥ you did with Left 4 Dead too, that ♥♥♥♥ was phat
Anyways, I hope you get this, man, accept my friend request
Just to chat, truly yours, your biggest fan, this is Stan

Just realized today i will never own a horse after doing some animal shopping

for example 1 single horse will be around 5000€, not to mention the renting of a good stable plus the hay, grass, water etc. probably more than 500€ or 1000€ a month. I'll never experience the joy of running in the wild and bonding with my horse... ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ rip im depressed thinking about it, wow.

Tbh, among us ruined a generation. It went from "Oh hey, cool game with an imposter, so cool!" As a welcoming came, to "You're a littke sussy baka UWU UWU OWO" which makes new people want to leave. Like, sure it's a game about some person whomst is an imposter, but that doesnt mean you can go and nake it this weird sussy baka thing. it's just cringe. Fnf is cool too, but everything got worse. Generations were ruined, people got turned into these cringe machines with repeated "Sussy baka UWU" stained on their voice box, and most importantly, my life was ruined. Whoever started this sussy baka and ruined humour thing, go ♥♥♥♥ yourself. Same with the people who joined in, go think about your life choices.

I do not care what you say about my mother. Your opinion is your opinion. But trust me, if you actually attempt to do something to my mother, even though she's made some bad decisions in the past that we still need to work through, I will personally call the police on you and I'll be laughing as your mugshot is shown on TV. You don't even know her, do you? The point of your entire existence seems to be to just tease other people. Well, I believe your jokes are in bad taste, and you should cease and desist digging through the dregs left at the bottom of the joke barrel; you could get a splinter, whose pain will be significantly increased by the significantly high amount of salt you carry in your bloodstream. Thank you, and let us cease talking about each other's parents.

It has been 4 hours since I successfully sucked my own penis. Things are different now. As soon as mouth-to-penis contact was made I felt a shockwave through my body. I have reason to believe I have super strength and telekinesis now.. 3 hours after contact I noticed a van parked on my street but no one has entered or exited the car since its arrival. I fear for my safety, I'm not sure what sort of power I may have stumbled upon but it's possible that the government has found out. If I don't update this again please send help.

he question is this: What if blue was a number of the alphabet? Would Canada still be made of cheese or would water simply become the moon?

As you can see, it is a question nobody knows the answer to. It also fit me over 4,2069 restraining orders. But 57 days in to No Nut November, I was surfing the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ of the internet, Facebook. My transcendence of not having covered a bagel in my cream cheese brought me to a enlightened state of mind all of a sudden, I felt like I needed to look for some jeebus. That search took me miles into the Vatican archives, miles above Stonehenge, and 2 miles up some poor bloke’s rectal cavity. Then I found it: the exact opposite of jeebus. The destruction of sanity. I’m telling God. I swear I nutted so hard my computer exploded and existence ceased to exist as my transcendence was brought to a halt. So now I need a new computer and y’all are stuck with nut. Merry Birthday.