come home the kids miss you

I have:
Restless leg syndrome
Fibromyalgia
High-fiber fibromyalgia
Hot tub foot
Lou Gehrig’s disease
Lou Barlow’s disease
Lucy Liu Flu
Advanced moist shin disorder
Hyper-tolerance to lactose
Urinary tract infection
Urinary 8-track infection
Trickle nipple
Thick urine syndrome
Hapsburg cholera
Clogged arteries
Dropsy
Dry lip
Intestinal colic
Allergic to indoor toilets
Sufferer of milk leg
Loofah rash
Bone worm
Selective fatigue syndrome
Hepatitis R
Irritable bowel syndrome
Spastic ear discharge
Pubic lice
Amphibial rabies
Anglo-centric sickle cell anemia
Scabies
Rabies

Mickey Rooney’s Sugar Babies
Tarnished yam simplex
Swollen perineum
Chronic shame disorder
Larval penis
Dirt belly
Parkinson’s disease
Valet Parkinson’s disease
Parallel Parkinson’s disease
Parker Posey pox
Pere ubu
Canine derived hip dysplasia
Selective albinism
Scrotal migraines
Prolapsed navel
Diagnosed as “Hard to Kill”
Dusty Sperm
Carpool Tunnel Syndrome
Male FUPA disorder
Overactive Empathy
Human Contact Disorder
Late Onset-Turkey Revulsion
Internal Sneezing

School has barely started and I'm already hailed as a god.

A little context. I'm not too popular. I'm always that one nerd kid, and the only time people would hear about me is if I won a math competition.

Well this year I changed that.

My school has posters up saying "We encourage you to use your phones, tablets, and laptops." The last one is what caught my eye. Because my school allows us to use our devices during lunch.

So I brought my laptop to school. For my first couple classes I would jokingly ask if I could use my laptop. But when lunch came around. Then things got good. I sat down at my normal lunch table and pulled out my laptop. Immediately people started eyeing me. Next I booted up my laptop. Now people were watching. Finally I got onto Minecraft and played some Hypixel Bedwars. I slowly gathered a crowd, and eventually people started chearing when I was winning.

When I won everyone went ballistic.

And that's how I became a god.

good player