I WILL HARVEST YOUR GRAND PINDANGOS,
YOUR CLARINORPS AND YOUR WINDEBANGOS
SHIP YOUR BABIES TO PANGO PANGO
TO BE DEVOURED BY DINGO DANGO

Speak in riddles, will I try,
Velcro but my shoe's untie
Living, yes, alive a lie.
Immortal yet I can't undie.

An bulance oft misunderstood,
Judged not by that beneath my hood.
I bear no grudge, don't think I'm rude, I
See you not as foe but food.

Run you must, attempt to hide,
My stretcher waits at your bedside
By witching hour will I ride,
The demon 'blance, bat wings aglide.

Your windows, they may creak and groan
A silent wail, a stifled moan.
Like beavers to the Lincoln home,
Incisors crunch your ribcage bone.

Safe and sound inside your bed,
Evil thoughts invade your head
Paralyzed, you sweat with dread,
Worry not, you'll soon be dead.

Wake you must, time running out,
They hear you not, for all you shout,
Mercy you crave, like Little Bo Peep
For I am the lion to all of the sheep.

All ye children run in fear,
Sirens signal an end so near.
Wee ooo faint now growing stronger,
Sleep forever more and longer.

Krantambulumps, Krantambulumps.
Speak my name and feel the bumps.
Turn to frogs and then to boils,
Echoing your worthless toils.

Demon ambulance am I.
Blood and tears rain from the sky.
Hear my siren, run you try.

Wee-ooo wee-ooo, now you die.





-anthem of Crantambulumpz the Feared.
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Born from the fiery bowels of Mount Shup Tid Ick Arumph.

Son of Thrankeshplotz the Mouldy, Immortal Prehistoric Jellyfish, Demigod and Defiler of Chemistry Sets, Near-Runner-Up of Science Fairs,

I am just a regular god-fearing demonic ambulance unleashed upon the unsuspecting ambulance-trusting public, just doing my best to find my way in a dog eat dog world. Who knows, I might just eat a few spleens along the way?