Steam Community :: Samurai Rabbi

Samurai Rabbi

Rusty Shackleford

United States

Level

Sentient Tumour

500 XP

תודה על הזבל הזה, לך תזדיין בבקשה

אלוהים יברך את ישראל בשביל ה "Big America" המבורגר

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I'm often asked "What is the optimal technique for rolling Dice?"
1. Fling them across the table until they fall off the opposite end of where you're sitting.
2. Yell your choice of expletive, then scootch your chair backward, making sure it scrapes the floor loudly.
3. Go pick up the dice from the floor, but drop one as you're standing up and go back down for it again.
4. Return to your seat and spend a half minute adjusting your chair and shimmying in your seat.
5. Roll again, this time with an inward curving throw, this time towards yourself. If done right, it should appear that you threw the dice normally, but one or two dice will fall off the table into your lap.
6. Fail to pick up the dice and let them fall to the floor under the table.
7. Curse again and loudly move the chair back once more.
8. On your hands and knees, search for the dice under the table. If there is another player you're attracted to, you may now "accidentally" grab their leg while searching.
9. Find one die, and reach to place it back on the table with a higher number (but not the maximum for the die) face up. Bump your head on the bottom of the table while doing so.
10. Find the other die and make your way out from under the table. When standing up, use the thigh of the player whose leg you touched earlier as a support to stand up with.
11. Toss the last die on the table so that it lands with the rest of the dice. Try to knock the lowest die in the pile over when throwing in hopes of a better result on it.

Congratulations, you have now mastered the dice roll. Your group will most likely be so fed up with how much time you wasted that they'll allow the roll in spite of it being invalid due to leaving the table, and you even got to feel up one of the other players to a limited degree.

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The only reason nobody remembers Will.I.Am anymore is because he is so ahead of his time that he's currently in the future. All of these interviews really took place in 1993 but we see them just now because this is the future of 1993 so the wall between time gets broken and the thermodiagnostic atmosphere gets penetrated. Will.I.Am is probably relevant in 2046 right now but he keeps getting ahead of his time so much that by the time 2046 shows up he won't be relevant because then he is relevant in 2082 so we'll sadly never get the chance to experience the true Will I Am but his past relics might show up occasionally.

Even though we won't experience Will.I.Am so much we need to still be thankful since he has already invented everything before we were born which is also in the future so we never really have to worry about running out of inventions since Will.I.Am makes them in the past and future for our convenience. Scientists speculate that the world will end when the sun runs out of oxygen but the truth is that the world can only end when Will.I.Am dies. Luckily this won't happen as he will invent invincibility in the near future which will also be the past so we might become invincible before we are born even though he invented it in the future and everyone who has already died will get invincible but also invisible since they don't have bodies but they will still be able to interact since they died but still never died cause they had always been invincible after they died.

The only reason we haven't heard about him so much is because cameras hasn't always been around which he also invented in 1899 but really he's been around in the past and future since as long as anything has ever existed, and no I'm not talking about earth since he invented that in year -307. He invented himself before that and before that he invented the thought of inventing himself in the future.

You know what I mean?

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