Recent reviews by Zbra

1st game - 10 ppl banned for hacks. jeez

Sims 4: Where My Zbra Sim Became a Criminal Animal Whisperer, DLC by DLC!

Rogue Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Ah, The Sims 4, the game where you can create a Sim version of yourself and then proceed to ruin their life in the most entertaining ways possible! I'm granting it a Rogue Rating of four out of five stolen garden gnomes because, let's be real, the DLCs are like my wallet's arch-nemesis, and the modding community is crazier than a bag of cats.

Now, let's talk about the DLCs. They're like the gourmet toppings on a Sim's existential pizza. From adding vampires and witches to throwing in a laundry day pack (because apparently, we want our Sims to suffer like we do), these expansions come at a price that could make a real-life Sim cry. But you know what they say, you can't put a price on giving your Sim the ability to become a mermaid with a knack for parenthood.

The graphics in Sims 4 are so vibrant that you'll swear your Sim's house is more put together than your own. And the character customization? It's like playing Barbie with unlimited wardrobe options, except your Barbie can also have an existential crisis and die from laughter while eating a salad.

But it's not just the official expansions that make this game a barrel of laughs; it's the fan-made mods! Want to turn your Sim into a llama-riding crime boss with a soft spot for stray cats? There's a mod for that! Heck, there's probably a mod that turns your Sim into a sentient toaster who's trying to become a world-renowned tap dancer.

Speaking of crime bosses and animal lovers, my character Zbra was a true Sims legend. He'd steal the neighbor's flamingos one day and adopt a horde of stray dogs the next. He's the kind of Sim who could throw a neighborhood party that ended with everyone stealing the furniture. Oh, Zbra, you beautiful, chaotic soul.

The Sims 4 community is like a Sims soap opera with drama, comedy, and way too many love triangles. You'll find players who are experts at building mansions that defy the laws of physics and Simmers who create storylines that rival Shakespearean tragedies. It's a place where creativity knows no bounds.

In conclusion, The Sims 4 is a hilarious and addictive life simulator where you can play puppeteer with your digital avatars. With DLCs that rival a luxury car's price tag and mods that can turn your Sims into just about anything, it's a game that keeps on giving. So, put on your llama-riding boots, adopt a herd of virtual animals, and dive headfirst into the absurdity that is The Sims 4!

Drug Dealer Simulator - Where Sewers Are the New Five-Star Hideaways!

Rogue Rating ★★★★☆ (4/5)

Ladies and gentlemen, brace yourselves because Drug Dealer Simulator is here, and it's more addictive than grandma's secret cookie recipe! I'm awarding it a Rogue Rating of four out of five trench coats because, let's face it, where else can you become a criminal mastermind hiding in sewers from the fashionably late police?

This game takes you on a rollercoaster ride through the criminal underworld, and trust me, it's a wild one. You'll start as a small-time dealer peddling products that wouldn't impress a goldfish. But with the right connections and some street smarts, you'll be pushing more stuff than a salesman on Black Friday.

Now, let's talk about the sewers. In Drug Dealer Simulator, they're like your secret getaway spots, your Batcave if you will. When the fuzz is hot on your heels, you'll find yourself crawling through the muck and mire like a ninja on vacation. It's a hide-and-seek game where the stakes are higher than a giraffe's basketball match.

The graphics in the game make you feel like you've stepped into a gritty crime drama. The mean streets are meaner than your aunt's cat, and the neon lights give the place an ambiance that says, "Welcome to the danger zone." And speaking of danger, don't forget to check your corners when you're sprinting through dark alleyways; you never know what's lurking in the shadows.

Managing your drug empire is like trying to organize a bake sale in a prison cafeteria. You'll need to keep track of your inventory, avoid undercover cops, and make deals with the shadiest characters this side of the Mississippi. It's a balancing act that makes juggling flaming chainsaws look easy.

As for the community, it's a mix of seasoned crime lords and newcomers who probably shouldn't quit their day jobs just yet. You'll find tips on evading the law, tales of epic getaways, and debates on whether pineapple belongs on pizza (because why not?).

In conclusion, Drug Dealer Simulator is a hilarious and intense ride through the seedy underbelly of the criminal world. If you've ever wondered what it's like to be the ultimate hustler, this game will give you a taste. Just remember, in the world of drug dealing, the sewers are your sanctuaries, and the police are your personal party crashers. Enjoy the thrill, but keep your nose clean, metaphorically speaking!

Megaquarium - Where Fish Come to Party, and We're the Bouncers!

Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5) - Rogue Rating

Well, well, well, what do we have here? Megaquarium, the game where fish are the stars, and we're just the overworked party planners! I'm handing out a Rogue Rating of five out of five fish-shaped disco balls because, let's be honest, where else can you throw an underwater rager this epic?

Megaquarium lets you build your aquatic empire, complete with tanks that make your goldfish's bowl look like a kiddie pool. But what's a party without guests, right? That's where the fish mods come in! With a few clicks, you can add more fish than a cat has lives, from the tiny guppies to the majestic sharks. And trust me, it's as wild as a penguin's night out on the town.

The graphics in Megaquarium are so vibrant that I'm pretty sure my monitor has become a portal to a tropical paradise. The fish are so detailed you can practically see them practicing synchronized swimming routines when you're not looking. And let's not forget the visitors who come to gawk at your aquatic wonders; their facial expressions are a show of their own.

The game's management aspects are a barrel of laughs. You'll be juggling fish needs, employee happiness, and the occasional runaway sea turtle like a true maestro. It's like running a 5-star resort for aquatic life, except the guests occasionally try to escape through the gift shop.

Speaking of guests, the community in Megaquarium is as friendly as a school of clownfish. You can trade tips on tank design, show off your craziest fish hybrids, and even organize "Fish Fashion Week" where everyone votes on the trendiest fish in the game. Trust me, it's a thing.

In conclusion, Megaquarium is a hilarious and entertaining game that lets you become the ultimate fishy overlord. With fish mods galore and a community that's as vibrant as your tanks, it's a must-play for anyone who's ever wondered what it's like to be the life of the underwater party. So, put on your wetsuit, grab a snorkel, and dive into Megaquarium's ocean of fun!

MORDHAU: When You're a Bow Enthusiast in a Sword Fight!

Rating: ★★★★☆ (4/5) - Rogue Rating

Greetings, noble warriors and arrow aficionados! MORDHAU, the medieval mayhem simulator, is a game where you can choose to be a master of the bow and arrow in a world that's practically obsessed with sharp, pointy things. I'm granting it a Rogue Rating of four out of five quivers because, well, sometimes you just need a little more distance between you and the chaos.

Let's talk about the bow and arrow, shall we? In a game where most players are running around with swords and axes that look like they could cut through a tank, opting for the bow is like showing up to a sword fight armed with a Nerf gun. But here's the catch – it's surprisingly satisfying. Watching your foes scramble for cover as you pepper them with arrows from a safe distance is like being the Robin Hood of the battlefield.

The graphics in MORDHAU are so detailed that you can practically count the splinters in the wooden barricades you're hiding behind. And the maps? They're like picturesque medieval battlefields, complete with mud, blood, and more limbs flying through the air than a circus act gone wrong.

Sure, you might occasionally feel like the odd one out when your teammates are charging forward with swords that look like they could moonlight as helicopter blades, but that's part of the charm. And when you finally get that perfectly aimed headshot from halfway across the map, you'll feel like the archery superhero you were always meant to be.

The game's melee combat system is hilariously chaotic. You'll witness epic sword duels, teammates smacking each other accidentally, and knights doing interpretive dance moves mid-battle. It's like a medieval mosh pit, and you're the one sipping tea and taking potshots from the backline.

MORDHAU's community is a mixed bag of berserkers, tactical geniuses, and players like you who prefer the zen art of archery in a world gone melee-mad. It's a ragtag bunch of warriors, and you'll find camaraderie in the most unexpected places.

In conclusion, MORDHAU is a delightful romp through medieval chaos, and choosing to be the bow-wielding oddball in a sea of sword swingers is a unique experience. If you're up for a challenge that involves more precision than brute force and a sense of humor as sharp as your arrows, then give it a shot. Who says you can't be an archer in a sword fight? Embrace your inner rogue and rain arrows upon your foes with style!

From Gandhi to Genghis Khan - My Epic Journey in Civilization VI!

Rogue Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5)

Ah, Sid Meier's Civilization VI, where ruling as Gandhi can turn into a war-mongering adventure that would make Genghis Khan proud! I'm handing out a Rogue Rating of five out of five nukes for this one, because, let's be honest, conquering the world has never been this hilarious.

Ever wanted to see Gandhi transform into a warmongering maniac with a penchant for nuking every city in sight? Well, in Civ VI, you can make that dream a reality! It's like finding out Mother Teresa secretly enjoyed wrestling and bungee jumping on the weekends.

The graphics in Civilization VI are so mesmerizing that you'll forget you're supposed to be managing an empire. You'll be too busy zooming in to watch your tiny citizens build wonders with the speed of caffeinated ants. And let's not forget the leaders' animations – watching Teddy Roosevelt prance around in a top hat is worth the price of admission alone.

Speaking of leaders, Gandhi isn't the only surprise package in this game. You'll negotiate with Cleopatra, chat with Teddy Roosevelt about the merits of national parks, and trade recipes with Catherine de Medici. It's like a twisted history class where you get to rewrite the textbooks.

The game's diplomacy system is a hoot. You can declare war, make alliances, and negotiate trade deals while watching AI leaders change their minds faster than a squirrel deciding which nut to bury. And don't even get me started on the Emergency meetings; it's like the UN on steroids, with everyone yelling about who broke what treaty.

Civilization VI is educational, too, in a "Did you know that ancient civilizations had smartphones?" kind of way. You'll learn about historical wonders, trade routes, and the importance of not angering a superpower with a ton of nukes.

But it's not all serious stuff. The game has a sense of humor as big as a giant death robot. From the snarky quotes to the way your citizens react when you declare yet another war, it's clear that the developers know how to have a good laugh.

In conclusion, Civilization VI is a hilariously addictive game where you can rewrite history to your heart's content. Whether you're trying to achieve world domination or just enjoying the banter with AI leaders, this game has it all. So, channel your inner Gandhi-Genghis hybrid and get ready to conquer (and laugh) your way to victory!

Such a good concept of a game and has great promises but only buy if you can deal with many many bugs, Luckily the developers are bashing out updates and bug fixes regularly but the bugs can be fustrating. Half of your shift only 50% of the callouts work. Most bug out and disapear so finishing accidents can be hard. Driving AI needs to be fixed if your a hard core driving fan. Would recommend buying in the future when out of developemnt stage. Will continue to keep an eye on progress due to good potential.

My people are never happy...

Title: Planet Zoo: Where I Went From Zookeeper to Zoo-God (Almost)!
Rating: ★★★★★ (5/5) - Rogue Rating
Hey there, fellow wildlife enthusiasts! I used to work in a zoo, and let me tell you, Planet Zoo is the game I never knew I needed to relive all those "wild" memories. I'm giving it a Rogue Rating of five out of five paws because, well, even a zookeeper has some wild standards!

Planet Zoo is like that moment when you realized that feeding penguins is way more entertaining than any TV show. The game lets you design, build, and manage your very own zoo empire, and it's almost as challenging as trying to convince a panda that it's time for a checkup.

The graphics are so good that I almost expected my virtual animals to demand better accommodation and gourmet meals. The level of detail is uncanny; you can even see the individual hairs on your majestic lions, and their fur is shinier than a hair commercial!
As someone who's spent hours scrubbing animal enclosures and trying to make disgruntled peacocks happy, I can say that Planet Zoo captures the essence of zookeeping brilliantly. You'll be juggling animal welfare, visitor happiness, and budgets like a pro in no time. And yes, guests will occasionally do dumb things like trying to pet the lions, but hey, it adds to the fun!

Speaking of animals, the game offers a fantastic variety of creatures to care for, from cuddly red pandas to the less cuddly but equally captivating Komodo dragons. Each species has unique requirements, which keeps you on your toes. You'll find yourself researching like a maniac to keep your animals content.

But beware, the challenge in Planet Zoo is real. It's like running a zoo and a restaurant at the same time, where your customers are as hungry for knowledge as they are for cotton candy. Keeping everything in balance is a Herculean task, but when you finally get it right, you'll feel like a true zoo-maestro.

The community aspect is wild too! You can visit other players' zoos, get inspired by their designs, and even trade animals, just like in the real zoo world (minus the paperwork).
In conclusion, Planet Zoo is an animal lover's dream come true. It's a wild, hilarious, and often chaotic ride, just like my days at the zoo. While it may not be as easy as feeding peanuts to an elephant, it's incredibly satisfying. I can't recommend it enough for both zoo aficionados and those looking for a laugh-out-loud challenge. Just be prepared to lose track of time faster than a meerkat spotting a bird!

Blackwake - Where the Seas Are as Empty as Your Wallet!

Rogue Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ (1/5)

Ahoy there, ye scallywags and landlubbers! Allow me to regale ye with a tale of Blackwake, a game where the seas are as empty as me treasure chest after buying this game. I'm bestowing upon it a Rogue Rating of one out of five soggy crackers because, well, not even a pirate's parrot would want to squawk about this one.

Let's start with the player base, or lack thereof. It's as empty as a deserted island, and the folks who still hang around are about as welcoming as a ship full of angry sea monsters. Trying to make friends in Blackwake is like trying to negotiate with a crew of pirate zombies who haven't had their morning grog. You're more likely to get a cannonball to the face than a friendly "Ahoy!"

The graphics in Blackwake are so dated that I felt like I'd stumbled upon a time machine back to the days when "AAA" still meant a high-seas adventure involving actual pirates. The textures are as blurry as a sailor's vision after a night of rum, and the ship designs look like they were crafted by someone who's never seen a boat before.

The gameplay is about as organized as a tavern brawl. You'll find yourself fumbling with cannons, trying to figure out which end is the pointy one, while your ship sinks faster than a lead anchor. And don't even get me started on the communication between crew members; it's like trying to coordinate a synchronized swim team made up of cats.

But perhaps the crowning glory of Blackwake is the sense of progression, or rather, the lack thereof. It's as if the game is mocking you with the promise of better ships and gear that you'll never unlock because, honestly, who wants to stick around long enough to find out?

In conclusion, Blackwake is a maritime disaster that even Davy Jones would steer clear of. The community is more toxic than a barrel of grog left out in the sun, and the gameplay is about as smooth as sailing through a whirlpool during a thunderstorm. Save your 79 pence for a better treasure hunt, me hearties, because this be one shipwreck ye won't want to board!