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Gargamel sends his regards

This is so embarrassing but I literally have a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ kink for trading like straight up medieval bartering type ♥♥♥♥ like the thought of like "a pound o' silk for a bucket o' milk" just turns me on for some reason that God Himself refuses to reveal to me. I can't even play Minecraft without getting hard as a ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ battering ram whilst trading emeralds for enchanting books and ♥♥♥♥. I have this distinct memory of watching this movie when I was like 13 or 14 and it took place in like medieval Europe or something and this guy was haggling for like a hand sculpted pot or some ♥♥♥♥ and I had to leave the room to ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ masturbate I felt so weird after. I think that's where it started. I wish I had a normal kink like idk piss or something idk how I'm going to explain to my future partner that I want to roleplay as a 14th century merchant . Man.

You clearly lack the intellect to understand the brilliance of my chosen abode. My mother's basement provides the optimal environment for indulging in the finest anime masterpieces. It is a sanctuary where I can immerse myself in the captivating worlds created by the anime industry. You, on the other hand, seem to be ignorant of such pleasures. It's truly a pity.

final fantasy main

Schrodinger's Blowjob -- Imagine you're blindfolded and you're getting the best raw pornstar-grade blowjob in the entire universe. The catch is, however, that you'll never figure Out who's giving you that god-tier awesome schmosome sloppy toppy unless you take the blindfold off. It could be anybody, Ariana Grande, Ben Shapiro, Harold from the 7-11 near my house, or even your uncle's neighbour's fireman's cat. Now the question is: would you take off the blindfold and find out who the person/thing behind the stupendous jimmy-nibbler is and risk permanently scarring yourself, or would you keep the blindfold on and continue having your knob slobbed till your spirit hits the sky?