wide ass head gets stuck in doorways

Asks the Turkish Barber to go easy on the top and a 3 on the sides

this dude has that dawg in him I can't lie

I actually had an encounter with this man as well. I thought I'd dreamed it or something so it's comforting to know someone else has seen him. Anytime I go near a football pitch I see a man matching that description, usually obscured partially by a tree or bush. Like just yesterday I saw him peeking past a tree by Leasowe Rec. 10 seconds later he was gone. I've actually developed a twitch when I go near a pitch now, they want to commit me.

So one day im walking home from work, its late and getting pretty dark. I see this shady figure heading towards me, naturally I begin to worry a little. This guy is about 5'8 wearing all navy and from what I could make out had little to no hair, apart from on his chest, that thing looked like a rug my nan owns... he should really think about shaving that.
Anyway, he starts getting closer, all the while I'm pretending I don't see him. Eventually he reaches me... I think this guy was on something because he just starts spewing nonsense about how he's "actually a really good striker" and has like 175 goals for Quarry FC??
Dunno if he'd escaped a care-home down the road or something, man looked about 70 odd.
Anyhow, before I could say anything back or offer this deranged old man some help he sprints off into the night. I'll give it to him, the mans got pace for an OAP. Nice calves too.

Actually has a Rabbit's foot firmly rammed up his ass and wears a robe made of four leaf clovers whenever he plays FIFA 22. +rep