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😚
There are no such things as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
😫
Do not believe in miracles -- rely on them.
😵
Force it!!!
If it breaks, well, it wasn't working anyway...
No, don't force it, get a bigger hammer.
🙂
Peterson's Admonition:
When you think you're going down for the third time --
just remember that you may have counted wrong.
🤧
Frankfort, Kentucky, makes it against the law to shoot off a policeman's tie.
😷
When it comes to compliments, women are ravenous, bloodsucking
monsters, always wanting more, more, more! And if you give it to 'em,
you'll get back plenty in return.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa the Beauty Queen
😴
Girls are better looking in snowstorms.
-- Archie Goodwin
🤔
... the MYSTERIANS are in here with my CORDUROY SOAP DISH!!
🙄