My girlfriend is 14 years old (4 years younger than me, don't you dare ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ say what you're about to say). She said she wanted to come to my house to watch a movie she just bought (I'm not allowed over at her house because her parents would freak out at the idea of a fully grown man playing grab-ass with their little girl). Surprise surprise, it was ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ Twilight.

Now, I knew she was a fan and all, but I never actually had to "confront" the problem. She spent the entire movie letting out these annoying (albeit cute) shrieks every time Edward did ANYTHING. She also gave me all sorts of fun-facts for half the movie, until I screamed "IDONTWANNAHEARIT" halfway through the movie.

Now, this just ruined her mood, and she decided to let off on me when the movie was over. "What's so wrong about liking Twilight?", she said to me. "Well, no offense, but it's just badly written wish fulfillment made by some fat virgin." Then she decided to set it off. She put on this twisted little smile, and said "Jamal, honey, you play video games". You see where this is going, right?

I couldn't really fight any of the points she brought up. I mean, she knows I play ♥♥♥♥ like Half-Life and Mass Effect, so saying games are better written is out of the question. She even brought up how most of the audience for the new Street Fighter movie premiere we went to were a bunch of shrieking fanboys, and how I spent the whole time we were there telling her fun facts about the character's origins.

How the hell do I get back at her?

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