certified clown
sexy beast (like actually I was bitten by a radioactive sexy person and every full moon I transform into hot stuff)
talented ninja, trained under master oogway for the last 3 years
Lost 3 of my toes to a pretty angry crab, he ate them and grew 4ft before I had to swallow him whole to gain my toes back
I can also play the clarinet, but only on Tuesdays of February after eating 12 pounds of ham at 3am