Recent reviews by Austin

Honestly perfect. It brings a tear to my eye to even fathom giving this masterpiece of a game anything lower than an 11/10. The sound is eargasmic, the graphics are phenomenal, and the gameplay is unmatched from anything I've ever seen before! The game itself is nothing short of a miracle. I'm so glad that I exist on this planet at the same time of this amazing game. Why you ask? Because I simply can't imagine a world without me and this game in it. I have played this game for so many countless hours but, to me, mere seconds have passed, if even that. Beautiful story, beautiful game mechanics, just a phenomenal use of aesthetic and happiness. I love this game with all of my heart and I want to marry this game. My name is Austin. And I love this game so much. In fact, I endorse this game for Game of the Year. Honestly, Game of the Decade. Century, even! Huzzah, this game has got me buzzin'! My wife and 5 children also love this game, as it gave me a chance to finally rekindle the love in my marriage. I love Call of Duty Black Ops 2 so much. Wait what? This is for what? They have six of them already?! I've been in a coma?? My wife and kids aren't real?! Um well, I need to go make a few phone calls brb

This game has become my new k-ink.

this game sucks

No Man's Sky-rim 11/10

I am a mother of five beautiful children and I can wholeheartedly say that this game is one of the scariest games me or my 5 sons have ever played. Not only did I shart my dungarees when I played on the easiest difficulty, but in Virtual Reality mode, FORGET IT! No Way Jose! Me and my 6 sons almost creamed ourselves from fear. Not to mention my youngest son had nightmares every night for the next week! His name is Steven and he kind of smells like sauerkraut when he gets excited. And boy howdy, he sure smelled like sauerkraut after playing Fasmo Phobic.

My favorite part of the game is playing with my girlfriends and pretending I am the ghost when I am dead, funniest ♥♥♥♥ of all time! I still LOL thinking about it!

Okay goodbye! <3 12/12 stars

Ralof: Hey you, you’re finally awake. You were trying to cross the border right? Walked right into that Imperial ambush same as us and that thief over there. Lokir: Damn you Stormcloaks... Skyrim was fine until you came along! Empire was nice and lazy. If they hadn’t been looking for you I’d have stolen that horse and been halfway to Hammerfell. Looks at Dragonborn You there, you and me, we shouldn’t be here. It’s these Stormcloaks the Empire wants. Ralof: We’re all brothers and sisters in binds now. Driver: Shut up back there. Lokir: looks at Ulfric What’s wrong with him, huh? Ralof: Watch your tongue! You’re speaking to Ulfric Stormcloak, the true High King. Lokir: Ulfric? The Jarl of Windhelm? You’re the leader of the rebellion... if they’ve captured you... oh gods, where are they taking us? Ralof: I don’t know where we’re going, but Sovngarde awaits. Lokir: No, This can’t be happening! This isn’t happening! Ralof: Hey, what village are you from horse-thief? Lokir: Why do you care? Ralof: A Nord’s last thoughts should be of home. Lokir: Rorikstead. I’m from Rorikstead. Hadvar: General Tullius sir! The headsman is waiting. Tullius: Good, let's get this over with. Lokir: Shor, Mara, Dibella, Kynareth, Akatosh! Divines, please help me! Ralof: Sees Tullius Look at him! General Tullius, the Military. And it looks like the Thalmor are with him. Damn elves, I bet they had something to do with this. notices where they are This is Helgen... I used to be sweet on a girl from here. I wonder if Velod is still making that mead with juniper berries mixed in... Funny, when I was a boy Imperial walls and towers used to make me feel so safe. Child: Who are they, daddy? Where are they going? Father: You need to go inside, little cub. Child: Why? I want to watch the soldiers! Father: Inside the house, now. Child: Yes papa... heads inside Driver: Woah... pulls in reins Female Captain: walks up to cart Get these prisoners out of the cart! Lokir: Why are we stopping? Ralof: Why do you think? End of the line. stands up Let’s go, we shouldn’t keep the gods waiting for us. Lokir: No! Wait! We’re not rebels! Ralof: Face your death with some courage, thief. Lokir: You’ve got to tell them we weren’t with you! This is a mistake! Female Captain: Step towards the block when we call your name, one at a time! Ralof: Empire loves their damned lists. Hadvar: Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm. Ulfric: moves towards block Ralof: it has been an honor, Jarl Ulfric Hadvar: Ralof of Riverwood. Ralof moves forward Lokir of Rorikstead. Lokir: No! I’m not a rebel! You can’t do this! runs Female Captain: Halt! Lokir: you’re not going to kill me! Female Captain: Archers! archers shoot Lokir: hit in the knee Aaa..! Female Captain: glares at rest of prisoners Anyone else feel like running? Hadvar: Wait... You there. Looks at Dragonborn Step forward. Dragonborn steps forward Who are you? Dragonborn: Dragonborn Long-Shadow. Hadvar: Not many wood elves would choose to come alone to Skyrim. Captain, what should we do? He’s not on the list. Female Captain: Forget the list. He goes straight to the block. Hadvar: By your orders, Captain. I’m sorry. We’ll make sure your remains get returned to Valenwood. Follow the captain, prisoner. Dragonborn: moves to stand next to Ralof Tullius: steps up to Ulfric Ulfric Stormcloak. Some here in Helgen call you a hero, but a hero doesn’t use a power like the voice to murder his king and usurp the throne. Ulfric: growl Tullius: You started this war, flung skyrim into chaos. And now the Empire is going to put you down and restore the peace. Alduin: distant roar Hadvar: looks around What was that? Tullius: It’s nothing. Carry on. Female Captain: Yes, General Tullius! turns to priestess Give them their last rights. Priestess: As we commend your souls to Aetherius, blessings of the 8 divines upon you- Stormcloak Soldier: For the love of Talos, shut up and let's get this over with. marches forward Priestess: hesitates … as you wish. Stormcloak Soldier: Come on! I haven’t got all morning! kneels at block, looks up at Captain/Headsman … My ancestors are smiling at me, Imperials. Can you say the same?? Captain: steps on his back Headsman: beheads soldier Stormcloak Soldier B: You Imperial bastards! Townsfolk: Justice! Townsfolk B: Death to the Stormcloaks! Ralof: ...As fearless in death as he was in life. Female Captain: Next, the wood elf! Hadvar: There it is again... did you hear that? Female Captain: I said... Next. Prisoner. Imperial Soldier: to Dragonborn To the block prisoner. Nice and easy. Dragonborn: moves to the block, kneels at block Headsman: moves to swing axe Alduin: lands, roars Hadvar: What in Oblivion is that!?! Female Captain: Sentries, what do you see?

Imperial Soldier: It’s in the clouds...! Townsfolk: Dragon!! Alduin: roar Tullius: Guards! Get the townsfolk to safety! Ralof: Grabs Dragonborn come on! The guards won’t give us another chance! This way! Pulls Dragonborn towards a towerfinds dagger and unbinds his own handsunbinds Dragonborn's handsmoves to unbind Ulfric, who followed* Jarl Ulfric, what is that thing? Could the legends be true? Ulfric: spits out gag Legends don’t burn down villages. Alduin: roar!! Ralof: We need to move, now! runs up stairs, reach dead end See the inn on the other side? Jump through the roof and keep going! We’ll follow when we can! Dragonborn: jumps

I went into this game expecting to catch a demon, but the real demons were the friendships we made along the way. 11/10

I am a 55 year old biker and trucker father, and probably one of the oldest people playing this game. I am a single father to my Son, who is 15 now. My son got this game for from his uncle, so we installed it on his computer and he started playing. By the end of the week he had 12 hours on this game. This was horrible for me, as it was already hard for me to find ways to spend time with my son, as he is always out with his friends or just watching YouTube. So i decided to make a Steam account and get this game to see if I could maybe play alongside him. I loaded into the game and started playing but I was stuck on what you where supposed to do. I asked my Son for help and he let me borrow his controller. Me and my son then played in turns and I loved it as it was the best time I had spent with my Son since my wife had died. This game has ever since brought me and my son closer again and now we actually spend time together outside the house together as well. This game reminded me that there's fun to be had in everything, and it has brought both me and my son many happy memories.

Spent like 20 days in vrchat. So far I have:

- been attacked by a Hank Hill in an Akatsuki hoodie
- pledged my eternal soul to a gang of aliens from the planet Ligondese
- been seduced by a Spongebob with boobs
- dedicated my life to serving the Vrchat devs
- lost the ability to communicate with real women

10/10

Very beautiful and stunning graphics with the perfect charismatic decor that makes any player want to keep playing for a long time. Hi, my name is Austin, or KrimsonTV. The gamemode that I like the most in Ball3D: Soccer Online is the basketball game, and for many particular reasons. Have you ever wanted to soar the skies to the hoop alike Michael Jordan, or dunk the basketball and hang on the rim like Shaquille O' Neal? Well, basketball lets you do just that! Ball3D Soccer Online lets you experience the sports world through the beautifully-handcrafted modern era of hockey pucks. The character design and customization is top notch and would give other game companies a run-for-their-money. This carefully-modeled game puts you into the third-person narrative of a hockey puck who wants to make it to the NBA, so by creating a lobby and inviting your friends, you are essentially simulating a form of MyPark from NBA2K. This, however, is not copyright, because aside from all else, no assets or anything even slightly resembles 2K, and the playerbase alone is what breathes its fresh breathe of life into this amazing game. The only downside is that when the player creates a server lobby, it is hosted off of the server host's internet/router, instead of off of a dedicated server. This is a major issue, because, for me and my friend group personally, we like to play with eachother on basketball, but live in different parts of the country, therefore someone is always lagging and it ruins, not only their immersion, but their experience. All in all, Ball 3D: Soccer Online remains one of the most competitive and heartwarming classics from this generation, and I hope that it remains for future generations alike.