The Epic Short Story: The Shivers of Bacon
By: Usagi-sama & Lordfortress

Lordfortress : this isn't even my final from (then the candy cane evolved into a ham)

*DEAD* TheyCallMeScout : HAX

Lordfortress : My ham hax are beyond you

Usagi-sama : Your final form is in my hands now, mortal.

Lordfortress : Offcourse fire is super effective against ham type scouts since it roasts the ham

Lordfortress : So the hero's gatherd togheter to kill the ham

Lordfortress : They succeded in that goal they thoughed

MR. PRESIDENT : Noooo!

Lordfortress : But what they didn't know was that the ham would rise again

*DEAD* Lordfortress : thats when he relized that the enemy had stole a prototype ham

Usagi-sama : But even in the darkest of days, one will rise above the other. Yes...The mortal enemy of the ham

Usagi-sama : Even the devil shudders of it's power

Usagi-sama : The PAN.

Lordfortress : The nemessis of the ham, he has cooked his brethren for far too long

Usagi-sama : The ham has proven no superiority to the pan

Lordfortress : And thats the story of how bacon was invented


Usagi-sama : Truly a masterpiece

Usagi-sama : The pan is cursed, it moves my body to it's will

Lordfortress killed Usagi-sama with ham_shank. (crit)

Usagi-sama : How...can it be?

*DEAD* Lordfortress : But ham can also be eaten raw

Usagi-sama : Blasphemy!

Lordfortress : What the almighty pan did not know

TheyCallMeScout : its deli-cous

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan.

Lordfortress : But it was a renforced pan

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan.

Lordfortress : But the pan was nolonger human
*DEAD* βunny : yeah

Lordfortress : It became it's own form of life

Lordfortress : of the 2 uber gods

Lordfortress : There once excisted 2 gaints

Lordfortress : One wielded a pan while the other wielded a Ham

Usagi-sama : We must provide a clashing battle in order to create the history of the earth we live in today

*DEAD* King Arthur : hehe

Lordfortress : Only our symbols in battle speak louder than words ever will

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan.

Usagi-sama : The pan started to whisper to the owner

Lordfortress : But the Pan was inbound with the ancient powers of Hale

Usagi-sama : Asking it to be a vessle for it's power

Usagi-sama : It screams for bloodshed

Lordfortress : And australian manliness

Lordfortress killed Usagi-sama with ham_shank.

Usagi-sama : Though whenever the ham goes down, he stands up and rises

βunny : ho

Usagi-sama : Stronger than before

Lordfortress : It strikes fear into the harts of his foes

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan. (crit)

Usagi-sama : The pan is starting to fear the existance of the ham

Usagi-sama : The ham becomes a treat

Lordfortress : So it must be removed from the eye of the public

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan. (crit)

Usagi-sama : The pan tries to erase the ham of this world but the wicked does not intend to back down without a fight

Lordfortress : So the ham gathers all of his strenght for one last duel

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan. (crit)

*DEAD* Usagi-sama : But atlas, the pan prevails

Lordfortress : Over the following years the ham resistnce came into being

Usagi-sama : The ham resistance was small but strong, while over the years the pan has created an empire and named himself emperor

Usagi-sama : The final clash of fate has just begun

Lordfortress : But the last from of hope wasn't lost

Usagi-sama : This was merely the beginning.....of the end.

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan.

Usagi-sama : The pan empire strikes hard with no mercy

*DEAD* Usagi-sama : How will the ham resistance respond?

Lordfortress : in the end the ham was driven out of society

Lordfortress : One Ham remained

Lordfortress : The last of his kind

Lordfortress : With the fate of the ham lying on his shoulders

Usagi-sama : The last ham, the last shining light in everlasting darkness

*DEAD* Usagi-sama : Will he prevail?

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan. (crit)

Lordfortress : He laid there krippled for a long time

Usagi-sama : With his memories flashing before his eyes

Lordfortress : Knowing that It's not over

(King Arthur : you two should write a small novel together)

Lordfortress : he stode up

Lordfortress : from his past shadows

(LaughGaming : 10/10 would buy 10 times again)

Usagi-sama : The pan empire watches as the ham rises

Usagi-sama killed Lordfortress with fryingpan.

Lordfortress : With every step he fell down again

Lordfortress : knowing there to be killed

Lordfortress : resort to all out attack

Lordfortress killed Usagi-sama with ham_shank. (crit)

Usagi-sama : The ham managed to defeat the pan general, the pan army stood in shock

Lordfortress : And so the Ham assasinated the son of the pan king

Usagi-sama : (who happens to the general)

Usagi-sama : The king became furious

Usagi-sama : He ordered every pan of the nation to get rid of the pesky ham!

Usagi-sama : The pan empire has fallen

Usagi-sama : Against 1 ham

The Peoples : ..

Usagi-sama : Who had the courage to go against the bigger man
Lordfortress : the bigger pan* (pun)

Usagi-sama : The ham took the throne and and peace reigned the lands of hamshire.

9000+ Years later

Lordfortress : That once peacefull world had fall to piece just as fast as it had risen.

Usagi-sama : Now both parties had joined forces for a far greater evil that was nothing like what they had ever seen before.

Lordfortress : It was none other than the Golden Pan who had watched for above the coulds waiting for his opportunity to strike down on those mortal fools.

Usagi-sama : Individuely they were no match for him but with the forces gathered "THEY'D BE THE BACON TO PIERCE THE HEAVENS"

Lordfortress :In that one simple act the destroyed the Golden Pan.

Usagi-sama : In doing so they had united their two kinds became one.

Lordfotress : And it is told that the Almighty Gabe made this act play out so that he could learn the world that the two kind became one implying that there had now excisted three kinds showing us he was able to count to three, and so confirming the excistens of Halve Life 3

Usagi-sama & Lordfortress : The End



Movie Coming to a cinema near you in the summer of 20XX

With the Mad Pan Emperor as Nicolas Cage,

the Ham Hero's Father as Chuck Norris

And The Ham Hero as Jack Black.