Okay, I have over 1,000 hours in CS:GO. And somehow, despite all the blood, sweat, and keyboard rage I’ve poured into this game, I’m still here—writing a review about how much I absolutely despise it. But… I love it. I really do. CS:GO is like the toxic ex you can’t quit—every time you swear it off, it pulls you back in with a clutch play or a smooth headshot that makes you think, “Maybe I’m actually good at this.” Spoiler: I’m not.
The community? Oh, it’s a beautiful dumpster fire. It's like walking into a room full of people who think they’re the next esports prodigy while you’re just over here trying to figure out how to properly throw a flashbang without blinding yourself. It’s a chaotic mess where everyone is a god, and I am the unfortunate 13-year-old with a voice crack trying to explain why I didn’t buy armor because I just had enough money for a deagle. “BUY A DEFUSER!” they yell, even though I was the one who defused the bomb last round, you ungrateful pixel warrior.
The language in this game? Oh boy. It's like a master class in toxic masculinity and insecurity. I’ve never heard so many grown men act like their whole identity hinges on being the best at a 10-year-old game. It’s always the same—guys who are so insecure about their skill who’ve convinced themselves that yelling at random strangers online will somehow make them feel better about their lives.
Somehow, I keep coming back. I guess I’m addicted to the pain. The matchmaking system? More like "matchmaking mystery." Every time I join a game, I’m greeted by a mix of 12-year-olds who think they’re in Call of Duty and people who are just aggressively shouting in their mics. "I’m a pro" says one guy with a 1-8 K/D. Alright, buddy, sure.
You know what though? I love it. There’s something about CS:GO that keeps me coming back. Sure, I’ve had my heart broken by the game more times than I can count (many, many, many opened cases with nothing but blue skins of despair), but every time I hear the sweet sound of the bomb ticking down, or the satisfying clink of a headshot, I remember why I keep playing.
Would I recommend this game to anyone? Well, yes, but only if you’re ready to experience frustration, confusion, and an unhealthy dependency on substances. CS:GO is like that abusive relationship that always promises it’ll get better, but deep down, we all know the truth: it won’t.

But hey, I’ll still be playing tomorrow.

1/10, but like, a 10/10 for masochism.

Also Valve, your anti-cheat system is like a fire extinguisher that only works when there’s no fire. It bans me for breathing too loudly, but hackers are out here flying around the map like it’s GTA. Maybe it's time for VAC to actually start working instead of just pretending it's on the job while hackers run wild.