Recent reviews by Whack Calzone

***DESPITE THE REVIEWS, DO NOT BUY THIS GAME. IT IS NOT GOOD. I REPEAT, IT IS NOT GOOD. IT IS NOT EVEN CLOSE***

look
I have no ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ idea how this game possibly scrounged even one single positive review from anyone with thumbs or some kind of appendage with which to hold a controller

first: it's not done. no, it's straight up not finished. you know the first guy you fight? hope you like him because he never goes away, until he puts on a new suit

second: ok look i was going to put a point here but i'm so ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ dumbfounded that this has so many positive reviews like what kind of bizarro realm am i living in? did i ever know what a good game was before? do I know what one is now? Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm the one who needs to change for this game.

No. It's bad. Shame on you. The only reason I can see to defend it is if you spent money on it and are too embarrassed to admit you made a dumdum purchase, so you hope you can trap other cucks in this pyramid scheme of a failure of an embarrassment of a dumpster fire of a travesty of a game.