Im chummed

I live in the American Gardens Building on West 81st Street on the 11th floor. My name is Patrick Bateman. I’m 27 years old. I believe in taking care of myself, and a balanced diet and a rigorous exercise routine. In the morning, if my face is a little puffy, I’ll put on an ice pack while doing my stomach crunches. I can do a thousand now. After I remove the ice pack I use a deep pore cleanser lotion. In the shower I use a water activated gel cleanser, then a honey almond body scrub, and on the face an exfoliating gel scrub.

Then I apply an herb-mint facial masque which I leave on for 10 minutes while I prepare the rest of my routine. I always use an after shave lotion with little or no alcohol, because alcohol dries your face out and makes you look older. Then moisturizer, then an anti-aging eye balm followed by a final moisturizing protective lotion. There is an idea of a Patrick Bateman. Some kind of abstraction. But there is no real me. Only an entity. Something illusory. And though I can hide my cold gaze, and you can shake my hand and feel flesh gripping yours, and maybe you can even sense our lifestyles are probably comparable, I simply am not there.

Did you know that you can place an order to Waffle House over the phone? All that you need to do is call and place an order over the phone and you can pay when you go in! It's really nice that once I get off of work I can order a lovely meal of an All Star Classic. I enjoy getting it with the city ham and hash browns and my eggs over medium (it's very tasty!) I typically put together a nice sandwich with the eggs, ham, and hash browns. It's quite pleasant to eat at 4 A.M with my nightly decaf coffee and a night cap if I'm feeling up to it after work. If you need a show to watch while enjoying it I recommend Arrested Development on Hulu

. It is a humorous television show on my favorite streaming service that follows around a wealthy family on their fall from grace as the community attempts to slander their good name about some sort of tax fraud that the patriarch of the family committed. I don't want to spoil too much but it's quite a good watch and is worth the admittedly large time investment. After my meal I enjoy scrolling my good chum Cooper's Facebook page and lurk on his page. After my nightly wank I head into my great slumber until I arise at 2 P.M. the next day for work as I repeat the cycle. I lead a fulfilling and enjoyable life.

I'm cumdemed