Dear J,

in response to your message (quoted for your ease of reference below)
"Word going 'round says you've been spotted touching men well below the belt."

do you mean I have changed my profession and now in the business of manicuring feet or rather I'm sharing a strong electromagnetic force from a very long penis (ie, touching the penis)?

Well, well, well,. If it isn't the enjoyer of male phallus' himself. Mr ♥♥♥♥ Monger.

To whom it may concern, is this where you sign up for a free oil massage followed by a touch on the turgid wick?

With warm and pleasantly moist regards,
anon

Hi, I've noticed you've been hanging out with girls. Is everything ok? It's time you revisited your priorities. From a concerned colleague, M.

I hope you realise that us boys had the best time of our lives on the bloody docks of Georgopol. It was an amazing time where life long friendships were had, men of all age and size bellowing in gleeful cheer and total cohesive bonding that I don't think the world's strongest glue could compete with. It was a shame that you couldn't join us on our moist encounters (moist as we were predominantly by the seas). I do wish for your sake that you will join us for another fun filled evening. That is on provision that we haven't run out of all the fun there is to have (because we had so much fun that the amount was asymptoting towards infinity).

WoW! how was Sonic? 8.1 hours on record? That is commitment mate.