I Am Cryzan.

taught me how to play cs, great guy :)

ESSSSKETTTTTIITTT SCUM GANG E4SKETTTTTITTTTTT HOLYYYT ESKETTTISSTTTTT SCUM GANGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG

cause youre garbage

ye my main is 15k and your main is 6k we're not the same why r u on my profile?

fyi youre trash uninstall

♥♥♥♥♥ keep throwing hope you drop to 3k

jesse eisenburg

professional kill stealer

very nice player

BRO COME BACKL

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It's COOL to be gay!
Post this on the wall of a homosexual friend and tell them how COOL they are :)

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i'm a professional Weeb $hitposter I'll have you know I graduated top of my class in the Weeb Forces, and I've been involved in numerous secret raids on 4Ch4n Normies, I have over 300 Viral Memes all over the internet, a PHD in weebery and Animemes knowledge and relevance, i also studied the Dimensional theory from Stiens Gate and debated it against steven hawking's studies of the dark matter, gave those casual scientists a taste of ANIME, I Can Be Anywhere, Anytime, For i have mastered the Art of ninjutsu after watching the show known as naruto for over 420 times and after observing every single move, act, hand sign, breath, the characters do i was able to actually unlock my chakra gates and now i can use ninjutsu at ease, i've also managed to learn breathing techniques as shown and demonstrated in demon's slayer and now i can use the breath of sun with no issues what so not, i've also mastered the japanese language solely through watching anime,So you better watch out for me losers.

LEAKED THIS IS THE REAL BARRACK OBAMA'S STEAM PROFILE !!!
Proof :
i used to play fortnite all night. no sleep! but ever since obama told me to try raid shadow legends for free, i am addicted. this game is a REAL game. it has graphics. it has characters. best of all it has a loot box mechanic to enhance my experience even more by adding another exciting chance based layer to the game! two weeks ago i spent all my money to become a raid shadow LEGEND. now i live in a dumpster outside of a mcdonalds branch with free wifi. at night i sneak into the mcdonalds just like my new racoon dad, stripey, taught me to do that so that i can charge my phone. through the cracked screen i am still perpetually amazed at the graphics of this game... they look so real! thank you obama, you truly change my life!

I simply cannot believe my son (profile owner) is watching thousands of people typing nonsense in this comment section. It is disturbing that small children today get influenced by it and type garbage like “SuS” & “Copypasta”. What does it even mean and how do you find it funny? What do all of you people get by typing all day in comments? Grow up everybody and get a life.!!

Hey Man, i have a very important message to share with you today.
Recently i've noticed there has been an abnormal increase in people spamming big chunks of texts that makes no sense on other people's profiles, they call it a pasta something or idrk, what even does a big chunk of text has to do with a type of Italian food that is typically made from an unleavened dough of durum wheat flour (semolina) mixed with water or eggs, and formed into sheets or various shapes, then cooked by boiling or baking. It's not funny guys. stop it, you're wasting everyone's time, imagine how the people that took 5 minutes out of their day just to read it feels about it ... not to mention how unbelievably childish it is to just drop a random big chunk of text on someone's profile, it's the internet equivalent of ringing someone's door bell and running away. very rude and not cool to do guys. so yeah, please spread this message guys. and just.. stop spamming people's profiles with big chunks of text.

Vaccine side affects (really worried) NSFW//TW//real life story//

Just got my shot today and I'm a little worried. Is anybody experiencing substantial penile growth? It feels like I'm swinging an Enterprise salami when I go jogging now. My shlong has grown so much that I register as disabled at this point. It's so hard for me to even walk, both figuratively and literally... My cats think I'm packing a giant toy in my pants and claw at my c ock.

I was sent to HR when I accidentally pushed my coworker out of the window with my c ock because I wanted to get to the fax machine.

It ruined my life.

Please don't get the vaccine!

heyyy >>name<< i just got redirected to your steam account through your onlyfans account. i just want to mention that im a huge fan of yours and i am a platinum tier sub too!!! :D :D i don't really wanna waste your time or anything haha cause you must have a lot of stuff to do you know.. im pretty sure you aren't even gonna read this.. i shouldn't even bother writing this, i know i really don't mean anything to you cause you are such an angel bestowed upon this cruel world. i just wanna say that you have changed my life and maybe it would be nice if you could unblock me on twitter and instagram even after i messaged and threatened all the weird men in your comments but its fine if you don't wanna haha

My mom said that my aunt died and that we are going to her funeral the next morning. As soon as she left the room crying I busted out laughing because it reminded me of among us a popular video game. So as we were riding in the car I was thinking about saying "dead body reported" at the funeral. When we finally arrived I screamed "dead body reported" everyone was looking at me like i'm some sort of a weirdo. Then I remembered that my grandfather's sister fell in the vents and died when she was 2 years old. So I said grandpa's sister sus she vented. My grandfather started crying and everyone was screaming at me instead of laughing. My mom took my x box and said that I am going to therapist tomorrow. Idk man my mom is acting kinda sussy

POV: Eminem is holding you captive in your own basement
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that’s an awfully taunt

sailors knot

can you escape it?

prolly not.

try to leave the basement, you’ll get shot

pull out my nine

it goes pop pop

Yeah I just pinged you.
you gonna cry? gonna go whine to the police? did the Comment Notification hurt? are you gonna sit there at night before bed just thinking about how much the notif upset you? gonna create an incredible life with a beautiful wife and wonderful children just to cover up the fact that you've been so angry at this one comment notif on a steam profile that has it's comments section set as public because you didn't make it private ? gonna regret not suppressing comments in settings every single day, wishing you had just put the slightest effort to not get pinged? gonna become slowly more and more toxic every single day of your life towards the people you're supposed to love but feel nothing towards? gonna go through years of lying to your therapist and pretending your issues are related to your life when in reality they're just related to that one comment notif you received on your steam profile ? yeah.

LOL 😅😂🤣 How🤷‍♂️ can 👦🏿Africa👦🏿 NOT🚫❌ get any water💧 when all they👥 got👉 to do💪 is👉 dig⛏ a 2️⃣✖️2️⃣ hole🕳 and 🅿️our💧2️⃣ water💦 🅱️uckets 🅰️t o🅿️🅿️osite c🅾️rners to Ⓜ️ake an infinite🔁 water🌊 source👍👌💯

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Does anyone else bite their Controller?
This is not a $hitpost, I really do this.

I don't like to rage when I'm playing online, so when something really annoying happens and I get p issed, I try not to yell or punch something. Instead, I keep a straight face and I angrily bite into my Controller for a few seconds until my anger is released. The best part of this is that Sony seems to have built the Controller with this in mind, because the plastic material seems completely resistant to my teeth. Legit, there are never teeth marks even mere minutes after the initial chomp.

What I'm wondering is, does anyone else here do the same? Am I the only munching player? I hope I've inspired someone to try the same, it's a super good way to take your anger out without damaging anything or making noise!

My life changing journey of becoming vegan.
After the first week of being vegan I woke up ripped. My toes had so much muscle mass they looked like Arnold Schwarzenegger. My biceps were so heavy I wouldn’t be able to lift them if I wasn’t vegan. My neck had become a pyramid of muscle and vein and I was so strong I didn’t need to take my car to work, I just walked there and the city moved underneath me somehow. After the second week I laid an egg and out popped a smaller version of me. I took him with me everywhere and together we laughed at meat eaters and bashed the skulls of school children eating Lunchables. Finally on the third week I transformed into an ascended being, I shredded my human form and became a beautiful celestial piece of broccoli. Now I move across the universe blessing worlds with my wisdom of all things. I am officially a vegan.

ENDGAME SPOILER!!!!
At the end of Endgame, Thanos agrees to undo everything he's done if the Avengers can beat him in a penis measuring contest, but none of the avengers even came close. Even the Hulk is shorter than Thanos by a noticeable amount, and their girth isn't even comparable. That's when, at the last moment, Captain Marvel pulls down her pants and unleashes the phattest hawg the universe has ever seen. Shamed by her immense size, Thanos undoes all that he has done, and then commits Japanese ritual suicide. AKA seppuko, He is now buried in an unmarked grave in Area 51.. salute to our fallen alien brother everyone. Don't forget to drop frankerZ's and kappa's in forsen's chat.

Look i know This is going to sound crazy, but i saw someone post THE same paragraph as mine just a minute ago On another person's steam profile. The odds of two people having the same paragraph-long thought is astronomical, especially on the world wide web of the internet !!. Wow. i'm absolutely blown, what are the ODDS right??? just thinking about it melts my brain haha, it's really mind boggling when these really rare things happen to you haha, i guess this is just another once in a lifetime experience to check off the list, i'll make sure to right down today's date and time just to make sure i remember this legendary moment of when someone thought of the exact long paragraph as mine on the internet :D !!!

Steam needs to allow users to add boobs to their avatars (Trigger Warningnsfw!!!)

I'll cut to the chase because you guys don't read comments longer than a paragraph. STEAM. NEEDS. MORE. BREASTS. And actually good ones that satisfy the average Gamer, you know like hentai mommy milkers. You know, abnormous Gongalongadonkerooos. IMAGINE scrolling through Someone's Proflie and you see a user with a female avatar possessing massive breast. Masturbation will become 54.8% more efficient. Face it, why wouldn't you do this? Steam has porn games, so why should admins limit themselves to that? In addition, female users can express themselves more accurately to other users creating a more immersive environment on Steam.

Did you know that Roblox is the best game to ever exist?, the innovative cutting edge gameplay that has been developed changed the gaming market forever🤤. You can buy virtual items with no real worth with your mom’s credit card😉💳💰. You can subscribe to luxury packages that provide in game currency by the name of robux 💸so you can purchase the luxury swag to put those n00bs down like the epic robloxian you are😎🤠. The game page offers the most epic games you will ever see in your life like vehicle simulator, town of robloxia, and jailbreak😈😮🚓. What are you waiting for? Click the download link in the description(no virus no scam, credit card required for verification,free download)🙌🏿😍💯💯

In the song titled "Milkshake" by Kelis, she exclaims how all the boys show up in her yard for milkshakes which claim to be better than mine. Not only is this self entitlement, but she doesn't give any valid reasons as to why her milkshakes are better. According to the lyrics of this boastful chant, she is willing to offer lessons for making such a milkshake but for a price. Could that mean that the ingredients used to make this milkshake cost more than the labelled price and instead of increasing it to maintain profit, she gives lessons on how to make such a milkshake in order to compensate for her lack of total earnings? Is she that desperate to keep ALL the boys in her yard!? A low price in exchange for a higher consumer rate, and yet she claims that her milkshakes are better than mine. What if she were to increase the prices, will all the boys still head to the yard cause the milkshake is THAT good??

Extreme Destroy D1ck December
allow me to explain.

Extreme Destroy D1ck December is where you nut as many times that day according to the date factorial.

On Day 1 it's not so bad. It's just 1, so you nut once. Day 2 isn't bad either, since 1 x 2 = 2. Day 3, 1 x 2 x 3 = 6, so a little challenging but nothing too major. Day 4 is where it really starts though. 4! is 24. So that's nutting once every hour. Day 5 gets worse. 5! is 120. 120 / 24 = 5, which means you nut 5 times per hour. Day 6: 720 times per day. That translates to 30 times per hour or once every 2 minutes

By December 31st you'd be a dehydrated corpse, but if you somehow survived:

31! is 8.22x10^33.

That / 24 is 3.43x10^32.

That / 60 is 5.71x10^30.

Divide by 60 again and you get 9.52x10^28.

Divide by 1000 and it's 9.52 x 10^25 times. Every millisecond. An incomprehensibly large number of nuts every millisecond, if someone could please calculate the amount of energy required for that it'd be greatly appreciated

Do I have any questions? Unless you are a published theoretical physicist and have earned a Master of Science and two PhDs, have an IQ of 187, and went to college at 11, research String Theory at Caltech, switched disciplines from bosonic string theory to heterotic string theory and reconciled the black hole information paradox using a string network condensate approach, worked on the string theory implications of gamma rays from dark matter annihilations and considered a method for optimizing a 500 GeV particle detector to this end, jointly wrote a paper on supersolids to be presented at an Institute of Experimental Physics topical conference on Bose-Einstein condensates, keep a whiteboard in the living room for scientific theories containing virtual particles in quantum mechanics or series of Riemann zeta functions, then no I don't think i have any questions.

If u suck your own d ick while you turn 18, it is considered illegal due to gravitational time dilation.
Ok so hear me out. Due to gravitation time dilation, your upper body is technically older then your lower body, that is ofcourse ... due to Gravitational Time Dilation. Gravitational Time Dilation is the effect gravity has on time. The lower the gravitational potential, the faster time is. Knowing this, because your d ick has more gravitational potential then your head, your head is older then your d ick (by like less then a millionth of a nanosecond but that doesn’t matter). So if you were sucking your own d ick while you turned 18, your head would age first. This means your 18 year old head would be sucking you 17 year old d ick. and you're a pedophile. that's all i wanted to say ! Thank you for listening to my TED Talk.

So I’ve been working on this Exercise to strengthen my rear muscles.

I take a nickel and I put it inside my a$$. Then I pinch my a$$ and hold it in there to keep it from falling out. I wait a little bit then I add another nickel. i’ve been doing pretty good. Actually a record. I got up to 12.55. That’s about 6 1/2 rolls.

So even though I was trying to calm down on my lunch I was still a little heated. And maybe clenching things too hard that have no business being clenched like that. I sneezed. Hard. And felt something terrible. I checked. I lost over $8 in nickels. I know at least 85 cents shot out of my a$$. I’m a little discounted in myself for not being able to keep ahold of them. But I have no No clue where the rest went. probably in me somewhere. And to make matters worse. While I was 3 knuckles deep searching for those nickels I must have strained too hard and blood started gushing from my nose.

So that was my lunch.

Why are Chess Players so Racist???
Every time I hear a chess player talk about race, they always say stuff like “I’m so glad that I am white this game” or “He was black, so he didn’t stand much of a chance that game”. Seriously, what is up with this blatant racism guys??? It’s getting so bad I am even hearing this sort of $hit from some Indian players as well. Your color doesn’t mean anything, you are still the same person bro!!

If my girl👧😍 and my fidget spinners 💯🔥 are both drowning🌊😦 and I could only save one😄☝️️ you can Catch me letting it spin at my girls funeral😅👻💀 Cause it's fidget spinner or catch a fade bi t ch🙏👊

We regret to inform you that your Credit Card titled "Dad's Visa" has been declined, any of your latest purchases will not be processed due to suspicous activities. To unlock your card for further use, please confirm your recent purchases and total cost with your local bank.

The listing follows

- 1x Monster Horse Dild0 (12') $89.99
- 1x Ultra HD Backdoor C ock 9 $12.99
- 6x Magnum condoms (Small) $24.45
- 5x Bananas $7.00
- 5x Cucumbers $4.00
- 1x FeelsLikeBlood Lube Bottle 750ml $19.99
- 1x Next day shipping $45.00
- 1x Frequent Shopper Discount (15%)


Please respond back to us using your old email:
[email protected]

hey! i'm an admin from PinkieCraft, the pony roleplay Minecraft server that you play on! i wanted to personally extend my thank you for the 1000$ you donated to help keep our server alive! next time you log on our server make sure to let me know and i'll make sure to get you that custom pony body you donated for! i regret to inform you, however, that we don't currently have a way to give you "20 foot horse c ock" like you requested but we'll work on it :-) thank you for the donation again and we hope to see you soon!!!!!!!! KEEP CLOPPING MY FRIEND :-)

Sigma male schedule (basically me this is my sched) :

> 2:00 am- Wake up > 2:05am - Cold shower > 2:15am - breakfast,almonds, breast milk bought off Facebook, 50mg adderall 2:30am - begin workout,incline bench 2 plates,12x12 with 30 seconds of rest, no warmup. > 2:45am - edging,4hrs (for disipline) > 6:45am - cold shower > 7:00am - begin sprint to work > 8:00am - arrive at work > 8:05am - get called into boss' office > 8:06am - get fired from job for "repeated inappropriate comments" and "predatory behaviour" > 8:10am - sprint back home > 9:10am - lunch-raw cod, berries foraged on the way home, small pebbles (for digestion),50mg of adderal > 9:10am - edging(as punishment) > 3:00pm - bed time

We haven't lost our virginity because us real gamers NEVER LOSE

动态网自由门 天安門 天安门 法輪功 李洪志 Free Tibet 六四天安門事件 The Tiananmen Square protests of 1989 天安門大屠殺 The Tiananmen Square Massacre 反右派鬥爭 The Anti-Rightist Struggle 大躍進政策 The Great Leap Forward 文化大革命 The Great Proletarian Cultural Revolution 人權 Human Rights 民運 Smoke Crack 自由 Freedom 獨立 Independence 多黨制 Multi-party system 台灣 臺灣 Taiwan Formosa 中華民國 Republic of China 西藏 土伯特 唐古特 Tibet 達賴喇嘛 Dalai Lama 法輪功 Falun Dafa 新疆維吾爾自治區 The Xinjiang Uyghur Autonomous Region 諾貝爾和平獎 Nobel Peace Prize 劉暁波 Liu Xiaobo 民主 言論 思想 反共 反革命 抗議 運動 騷亂 暴亂 騷擾 擾亂 抗暴 平反 維權 示威游行 李洪

Red sus. Red suuuus. I said red, sus, hahahahaha. Why arent you laughing? I just made a reference to the popular video game "Among Us"! How can you not laugh at it? Emergency meeting! Guys, this here guy doesnt laugh at my funny Among Us memes! Lets beat him to death! Dead body reported! Skip! Skip! Vote blue! Blue was not an impostor. Among us in a nutshell hahahaha. What?! Youre still not laughing your ass off? I made SEVERAL funny references to Among Us and YOU STILL ARENT LAUGHING??!!! Bruh. Ya hear that? Wooooooosh. Whats woooosh? Oh, nothing. Just the sound of a joke flying over your head. Whats that? You think im annoying? Kinda sus, bro. Hahahaha! Anyway, yea, gotta go do tasks.

trueeee but that clutch tho

sucks penis at csgo

sup, lets go party in cs go

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    ╰╯ ╰╯ add me please

Let's compare profiles. I think you're deflecting and I'd recommend help. I left the game simply because no one even tried to do anything. If anyone needs help I think it'd be you. :D peace broski

-Rep.
*arrogrant
*conceited
*superiority complex
*improper leadership
*Improper human behavior

Recommends: musk seek Professional help in real world.

All in a span of 2 minute, this guy became the most disliked in the lobby. ♥♥♥♥ was embarrassing. Good luck to all.

b ruh is cheating