Im Asian

I just saw some idiot at the gym put a water bottle in the pringles holder on the treadmill.

Why does the bride always wear white? Because it's good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator

What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes? Nothing, she's been told twice already.

How many men does it take to open a beer? None. It should be opened by the time she brings it in.

If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong? You made her chain too long.

How do you turn a fox into an elephant? Marry it

What is the difference between a battery and a woman? A battery has a positive side.

How are tornadoes and marriage alike? They both begin with a lot of blowing and sucking, and in the end you lose your house.

What's the difference between a ♥♥♥♥♥ and a ♥♥♥♥♥? A ♥♥♥♥♥ sleeps with everyone at the party and a ♥♥♥♥♥ sleeps with everyone at the party except you.

Do you know why they call it the Wonder Bra? When you take it off you wonder where her tits went.

How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good? Put a nipple on it.

Why are there no female astronauts on the moon? Because it doesn't need cleaning yet