There once was lad named John, John the Lemon Hunter , now that may come to you as a shock to how in gods name did this man earn his nickname. Well you see it all started
In a small farmstead in 1982, on the coast of new Ingerland, land of the ottoman empire of the United States, when this fellow boy saw a baron eating, and you guess what, a lemon. To the rich is just a simple fruit, BUT FOR JOHNNY BOY ITS A ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ WONDER! anyhow, in that moment he knew what he had to do. Obtain a LEMON, funny how it is he grew up, after years of trying to get this forbidden fruit, by stealing, buying, no no not buying Jonh is portrayed as poor, begging in the streets, even trying extorsion resulted all in vain. But one day, something happened, exactly on 29th of February 1991, he saw his chance, a big loader of a boat full to the brim with lemons, his eyes gleamed with star shaped fire, filled with determination, He inhaled a deep breath, and ran of to the boat. But theres the twist,
He is also a convicted fellon, because he commited crimes in crimea, when that country existed pfff. Nontheless he is now in the scenario of being chased by the coppers and chasing himself the dream longed to become true. But what does he do. Of course! He turns to the coppers and asks them if they have a loicence for chasin'. One of the bobby responds "No sir, we do not own such a thing*
"Then im taking you jail" responds john. The bobbies look disappointed at eachother thinking of their failures but when they realized that they dont a loicence becouse they're the ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ COPS, they turn to aprehend the criminal, but to their surprise, again! John booked it to the car the bobbies were driving and took a 150mph sprint to the boat of lemons. The tension builds, the boat starts departing, Johnny Boy is with the pedal to the metal, but when he got to a somehow well placed and obviously not staged ramp, he landed on the boat, seeing only heaven before his eyes, but the thing is...
The game was rigged from the start, Our protagonist suffered from dislexia, and when he reached the boat, yet he found lemons, but not as he remembered, because what he saw at the start of the story was a banana... He later died of scurvy on sea as he couldn't come back because of his crimes, and he apparently hated lemons, ironic.
Fin.