Recent reviews by Mephisto Faust

You're only allowed to play if you're a nazbol furry femboy.

P.S. No excuses, no regrets, for there is only pain in Luxembourg.

P.P.S No fear, no weakness, for there is only horror in Taanu Tuva.

P.P.P.S No women, no ♥♥♥♥, for there is only boypus*y under the bbc sun.

P.P.P.P.S Only stare at the shadows, for whatever is outside, wants to drag you into touching grass.

There should be an easter egg with Helldivers

You got me...

What Enlisted should have been.

Yes

Not since the new 01.000.300 patch. Hell, not even since they increased the spawn chance of hunters, which once they land an attack on you - and trust me they will because they pounce on you all the way from Brazil, much like the hunter from Left 4 Dead - they'll keep spamming that attack but they’ll also lick your cheeks from time to time, y’know, just to slow you to a crawl. Their attack pattern is akin to your average Mortal Kombat player when they’ve learnt a new "combo".

"Well then don't worry, just dive away from them !" - Good suggestion, although they've messed with that mechanic as well, probably a bit closer to the current patch, after they've increased the spawn chance of hunters just so you couldn't "abuse" it anymore.
"What happened to it ?" - Under certain circumstances, you will not be able to get up & scurry to a safer distance to shoot back. “What are these circumstances ?” - Well: being "underneath" corpses - although you clip right through them - or if there are several enemies "on top of you", or more accurately, surround you from even a meter away.

Not to mention, they’ve recently increased the rate of patrols but gaslight you using mental gymnastics into thinking "this was meant to be from the beginning so if you really think about it, they haven't actually made it harder". Here’s the matter, if you play with less than four players, the patrol rate increases & you know who’s supposedly at fault ? Well, everyone just pins it on the "farmers", who you can't get mad at because the only way you can improve your equipment & ship is if you rummage the entire map & mine for samples & secondary objectives like it's a Fallout game; all of that whilst being under a time pressure of barely 40 minutes or an outrageous 12 minutes which, in some cases, can barely give you the time you need to just complete the mission itself.

"What happens when the timer runs out ?" - Well, you can't respawn. Forget everything else. You can't respawn. Even if you could use your other stratagems - which wouldn't make sense as to why you wouldn't be able to reinforce - once a small group of even two hunters catch you off guard while you're distracted & if you haven't taken your heavy armor - so you could have the speed to gain as many resources as possible with the bonuses of the light armor set - you will be mowed down, probably faster than the time it takes for the contents of the stimulant syringe to flow through your arteries if you didn't react on time the instant you've been hit twice.

Regardless, at this rate, I'd always take my chances against a stalker than these hunters, especially now after the latest patch.

The skill celiing is way too high. Plus, I've spent most of my time in the menus trying to figure out how to make the ui, fov & model distance more satisfying - which is why I have above one hour. As for the matches, I've spent most of my time in spectator & when I got into the match after a couple of map changes... well, I'm not sure if most people left because of me or because they played so much, but the last teammate I played with thought I was afk, that's how bad I was. There's just no room for us newer players, which is why I suppose so few people play this game. If I had to compare these players to tf2 players, the ones I went up against were elite MGE lords, but the difference is that in tf2 they have their own special servers, you know what you'd be getting yourself into if you cross their territory, but here ? I have no way do discern veterans from those that seem closer to my skill level & as far as I can remember, most of my kills come more from lucky shots combined with mistakes in their movement; catching them by surprise - and if they're low HP - or by making assists - as in I go down first & my teammate finishes them off - than my own aim/movement which tell me I didn't earn any of said kills.

TL;DR: Big-humongulous-chungus skill issue on my part & there's no way to raise it as far as I know, other than running the risk of pulling a heavy giga mega-sus "streamer rage compilation #985".

They're called zombies, not infected, you idiot.

le funni gun go brrrrr