Funny, sad, and sometimes just ♥♥♥♥♥♥♥ crazy, this game will crack jokes left and right, and then turn around and give you a gut punch in the feels. This game is nearly perfect, with only a few mechanical problems (No autosave? What?). From a purely gameplay perspective, there are better open-world action-adventure games out there, a main contender being Grand Theft Auto 5. But if I were to choose between that game and Yakuza 0 to play on any given day, I'd choose Yakuza 0 every single time. Why? Let me explain...


Don't get me wrong- GTA 5 has great characters; Michael and Franklin are both relatable in their own way, and Trevor is a bit of a wild card, but that's why everybody loves him. These 3 are three dimensional characters, written very, very well to satirize American crime and its underlying culture. But that's the problem- they feel written. Written very well, yes, but written nevertheless- they don't feel like real people. It's a case of the "uncanny valley"- they're really close to seeming like people that actually exist, but there are one or two things that just don't click that keep you from empathizing fully with them. For how outlandish Yakuza 0 is, it doesn't have that problem with its characters. The named main characters in Yakuza 0 don't feel written- each and every single one of them- yes, even the more minor characters, has their own thoughts, feelings, and motivations. There is no main character fully explainable with just a sentence, unlike in GTA, where the main characters, while still good, are nevertheless trite stereotypes. As you play through the game, it has you understanding these characters in a way that GTA never did- or even could. You find yourself happy when a plan works for a character you like. You genuinely become sad that a character that you liked died. And the villains make you angry, but nevertheless you still feel that bit of empathy- because even they are people with their own motivations, however misguided. Without this depth that these main characters provide, Yakuza 0's story wouldn't really have worked- which leads me into my next topic.


This game's story at its core isn't super complicated. It revolves around a piece of land that is essential to start the Kamurocho Revitalization Project, and whoever gets it gets; #1, a ♥♥♥♥-ton of money, and #2, long-term control over Kamurocho... which will also net a ♥♥♥♥-ton of money. The main idea of the story is frankly so simple that it almost sounds boring- but it's not. The way that Yakuza 0 goes about presenting its story is so very un-boring that you really can't take your eyes off of the screen. While it starts out very simple and frankly a bit video-gamey, as you grow to know and love the main characters, the story unfolds into an extremely compelling character-driven drama. I genuinely found myself struggling to put down the controller- and I have high standards. It felt believable- even for how outlandish the story actually was- and I believe that there was another element of the game that contributed greatly to that feeling of believability, which leads me to my next topic...


This game's map (or maps, because there are 2) isn't that big. I could actually call it quite small, compared to let's say, GTA 5. Yes, I know I'm using this comparison a lot, but bear with me. While GTA 5 has size, Yakuza 0's Kamurocho and Sotenbori has detail. While Los Santos is also a quite detailed map, it nevertheless feels a bit off to me (I live in the West Coast, I can say this). Just like its characters, GTA 5's Los Santos lives in a sort of "uncanny valley"; it almost seems like a real place, but not quite- it's just a bit off. Not so with Yakuza 0's maps. Every location seems real, and exudes real character and authenticity where Los Santos has little. (I can say this because I’m Japanese) The back alleys shrouded in darkness and dingy florescent light don't just feel "uninviting", but as if you'll get stabbed if you enter. The lit up Theater Square at night seems equally festive as it feels shady- every corner of the map gives you a sort of gut feeling that only real locations give you, that say "ooh, you shouldn't go there" or "I shouldn't stay here". Not that any of these feelings matter, as you're essentially a one-man army in this game... which leads me into my last topic...


This game is a bit ridiculous- in more ways than one. When you beat up people, money comes out of them. Literally. Your main source of income is literally punching people. That and the fact that you routinely fight groups of 20 or more people at a time during the main story makes for a truly outlandish gameplay experience… and that’s just the tip of the iceberg. Want to go out drinking and do some karaoke? Yakuza has you covered. A dance club? Yakuza’s got it. Pool? Yakuza’s got that too. Darts? Yup, of course. Bowling? Yes. Baseball? Yeah, that too. Playing some old Sega games? Well, of course. Befriending a convenience store cashier? Why the hell not? Betting on underground fights? If you’ve got the money. Participating in underground fights? Of course! Managing a real estate company? Why wouldn’t Yakuza have that? Managing a cabaret club? Yeah! Why not! Sending agents from a Chinese restaurant / underground arms dealer around the world to collect legendary weapons, materials, and artifacts?... weLL oF cOuRsE!!! Nervously watching literal softcore pornography?... wHy tHE ♥♥♥♥ noT??? You get my gist?


This game is worth every cent you pay. Get the game… and Yakuza Kiwami and Kiwami 2 while you’re at it, because you’re in for a hell of a ride.

TL:DR

Gameplay-
☐ Very good
☑ Good
☐ Nothing special
☐ Okay
☐ Bad

Graphics-
☐ Masterpiece
☑ Beautiful
☐ Good
☐ Will do
☐ Bad
☐ Awful

Audio
☐ Amazing
☑ Very good
☐ Good
☐ Decent
☐ Not too bad
☐ Bad

Audience
☐ Kids
☑ Teens
☑ Adults
☐ Everyone

Story-
☑ Lovely
☐ Good
☐ Average
☐ Not great
☐ None

Difficult-
☐ Just press a bunch of buttons
☐ Easy
☐ Significant brain usage
☑ Easy to learn / Hard to master
☐ Not so easy
☐ Difficult
☐ Dark Souls

Grind-
☐ Nothing
☐ Only if you care about leaderboards/ranks
☐ Isnt necessary to progress
☑ A bit grindy sometimes
☐ Average grind level
☐ Too much grind
☐ Insanity

Game Time-
☐ Short
☐ Average
☐ Long
☑ Depends on you
☐ Endless

Price
☑ Just buy it
☐ Worth the price
☐ Wait for sale
☐ Maybe if you have some spare money left
☐ Not recommended