Heavy Dakka Flash Git's POSTAL 2 Achievement Progress

R. Kelly's Protege

Pissed in someone's face until they puked from it.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2022 @ 12:28pm

Duck Dynasty

Used a Bass Sniffer Radar.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 11:06am

Here, Wilfred

Gained your first dog helper.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2022 @ 2:17pm

Chapelle's Show

Lured a police officer with a piss-soaked donut.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2022 @ 1:29pm

Taxidermy with Chuck Testa

Used a cat to "accessorize" your gun.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:32am

Someone's got a case of the Mondays!

Survived Monday.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 11:33am

C U Next Tuesday

Survived Tuesday.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2022 @ 12:47pm

OMG, NEW MODERN FAMILY TONIGHT!

Survived Wednesday.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2022 @ 8:50am

It must be Thursday, I could never get the hang of Thursdays

Survived Thursday.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2022 @ 10:53am

Workin' for the Weekend

Survived Friday.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 6:53am

Screw Bill Lumbergh!

Survived Saturday.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 8:07am

I swear, I thought it was a home fill

Exploded a nuclear bomb.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2022 @ 6:50am

Rebecca Black's Nightmare

Totaled 30 cars.

Unlocked 25 Aug, 2022 @ 1:19pm

Darth Maul'd!

Sliced 30 people in half with the scythe.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:42am

Reddit would be proud.

Hoarded 15 or more cats at a time.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2023 @ 8:11am

Uncle T-Bag

Escaped from the maximum-security jail cell.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2022 @ 11:15am

Do you even Enzyte, bro?

Unzipped your pants and got 3 women to laugh at it.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:21pm

Running With Scissors

Ran 30 miles while holding the scissors.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2022 @ 12:50pm

Hutton Gibson Can't Deny This!

Killed over 1,000 people.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:48am

And THAT'S why you never get out of the tree

Killed all of the book protestors in the library.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 4:00pm

Lieberman is our Leader!

Killed all of the video game protestors at the RWS Office.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2022 @ 12:59pm

Sheriff Arpaio would be proud.

Killed 30 or more people of each skin color.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:03am

Can't Touch This

Exploded 30 heads via sledgehammer to the face.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 5:08am

Señor Cornballer

Ate 30 donuts while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 6:50am

GOOD MORNING VIETNAM!

Burned 5 people with the same can of napalm.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:57am

Rick Grimes 4 Life

Made 30 zombies lose their heads.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2022 @ 6:41am

Fur Sure!

Showed Vince and Mike J. what you thought of them.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 10:36am

Where's Mr. McGibblets?

Gave Krotchy the bad touch.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2022 @ 10:47am

Finkle IS Einhorn!

Gave a kickoff to a severed head.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2022 @ 6:15am

Don't taze me, bro!

Zapped 20 innocent bystanders with the tazer while wearing the police officer's uniform.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:50pm

Friend of Dorothy

Successfully hid from the police at max wanted level.

Unlocked 19 Aug, 2022 @ 3:19pm

Officer McLovin'

Asked a police officer to sign your petition.

Unlocked 18 Aug, 2022 @ 12:06pm

Paid the Piper

Successfully bribed your way out of an arrest.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:26pm

Well, aren't YOU a badass

Kicked open a door.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 10:32am

I don't know whether to kiss you or kill you

Put out someone that's on fire.

Unlocked 20 Aug, 2022 @ 10:45am

It's sterile and I like the taste

Sucked down your own piss.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 8:19am

It's OK, we got Greenlit anyway

Killed someone who refused to sign your petition.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:02pm

FAB-U-LOUS!

Wore all three outfits.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 6:31am

A-Rod Who?

Whacked a severed head 50 meters or more with the shovel.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:48pm

Door Mat

Severed all of somebody's limbs without killing them.

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 6:41am

Chuck Norris'd!

Killed someone with a flying jump kick.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2022 @ 12:53pm

One time, at band camp...

Saved the marching band from explody death.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 2:59pm

There's always money in the banana stand

Found the secret bank exit on Monday.

Unlocked 23 Sep, 2022 @ 1:47pm

Found 'em faster than GWB

Discovered the hidden Taliban base.

Unlocked 15 Aug, 2022 @ 11:41am

Gotta pay the Troll Toll

Found one of the hidden underground sewers.

Unlocked 13 Aug, 2022 @ 11:41am

Thanks for the money!

Finished all seven days.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2022 @ 6:53am

GABAGOOOOOL!

Reunited with an old friend.

Unlocked 28 Aug, 2022 @ 8:55am

Holocaust: Part Deux

Reunited with an old enemy.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2022 @ 2:05pm

Rain on your Wedding Day

Reunited with an old flame.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2023 @ 9:46am

Hobo Sexual

Collected money for charity without stealing from Zack Ward.

Unlocked 24 Mar, 2023 @ 8:58am

Gettin DP'd

Made 30 kills while dual-wielding.

Unlocked 8 Sep, 2022 @ 1:00pm

RAFIBOMB!!!

Kicked 10 people in the balls.

Unlocked 15 Oct, 2022 @ 3:24pm

I'm not even supposed to be here today!

Waited 13 real world years to see an in-game Easter egg. Thanks for sticking with us!

Unlocked 21 Aug, 2022 @ 4:46am

Michonne ain't got nothin' on me

Resurrected a zombie corpse for your own nefarious purposes.

Cesar Millan is Very Happy

Mauled 30 people with your dog.

11 / 30

OMG, WE'RE HAVING A FIRE...sale

Roasted 30 people with fire.

12 / 30

Hello, Newman

Kicked 30 dogs.

8 / 30

Pussy on a Pedestal

Slaughtered 10 dogs with a kitty-silenced shotgun.

0 / 10

I swear, I am NOT Marcellus Wallace

Killed 10 bystanders while wearing the gimp outfit.

7 / 10

Fear and Loathing

Smoked over 10 "health" pipes and 10 tins of catnip in one play session.

Anustart!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with no kills.

40 Year Old Virgin

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode with a total play time of 1:30:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

CAN YOU DIG IT?!

Completed the "POSTAL 2" game mode using only the Shovel to kill. (Must kill at least 30 people.)

Planet of the Apes: The Musical

Completed the game (any mode) on Hestonworld difficulty.

Scientology Level: OT VIII

Completed the "A Week In Paradise" game mode on POSTAL difficulty.

It's not cheating, because it's YOUR dog

Played "fetch" with your dog... using a severed human head.

Anger Management With Roger Clemens

Nailed a fleeing bystander with a tossed sledgehammer.

Shiva Blast

"Lost" your sledgehammer to a cow.

I Am Legend

Committed suicide... the Taliban way.

I should buy a boat

Read the newspaper every day.

I don't need virgins for this

Suicide-bombed a Taliban member.

Watchu' Talkin' 'Bout Muhammad

Reunited with a former child star and an infamous terrorist leader.

Better than POSTAL III

Rescued your loyal companion.

My Name is Jesus

Completed Paradise Lost with no kills.

Harder than r/gonewild

Completed Paradise Lost on POSTAL difficulty.

Adderall4All

Completed Paradise Lost with a total play time of 1:45:00 or less. (Excludes cutscenes and loading times.)

Rich on Reddit

Sold 30 cats at the Cash 4 Cats vendors.

25 / 30

BioShocked

Spent $2000 on vending machines.

880 / 5,000