My Twich [www.twitch.tv]

Hi there, I'm Nic. Most people call me Josh though... because I tell them my name is Josh. I enjoy long walks to the fridge at 5 am to get more cold pizza and trips to the supermarket in my mom's 1973 Volkswagen Beetle to buy cigarettes and margarine. I consider myself a post-modernist avant garde scholar, mostly because I assume that, like myself, no one knows what that means and I can answer "You wouldn't understand" when they ask what I do.

Why would you want to date me? Well I tend to tell long unrelated stories. For instance when I was on a flight to Istanbul once in the summer of '07 the man sitting next to me was wearing a mauve fez. I proceeded to ask him about said fez and replied that it was a gift from his now deceased grandmother who died during the Crimean War when the Ottoman's raided her village for oats for their horses. Now having never been to Crimea I was not certain to the quality of their grain, especially in the context of horse-nutrition. Also taking into account the fact that I knew next to nothing on the topic of horse-nutrition I decided to query my seat-neighbor about both these unknown domains. I discovered though that he must of slipped out while I was lost in contemplation, which is something of a miraculous feat either of my inattention or his acrobatics as I was sitting next to the aisle. Acrobatics are something that I did practice when I was a child, and the most enjoyable experience I had was vaulting off a high platform into the foam-block pit. Although the foam blocks would invariably break, causing the inflammation of my eyes due to foam intrusion. I had to spot when I got glasses and they would most likely break when vaulting into the foam-block pit, although it may have prevented some of the pain. You know what else is a pain, since I mentioned it? Shopping for glasses. I needed some new glasses after my pet swine decided to ingest them after I left them on the oil drum behind the barn. Oh! I also play the drums.

Girls loves musicians right? I used to play in a band called Vampire Blood-Gore, but we had to disband when our frontman died from a meth overdose. Well actually we never figured out if he died from the fall or the meth... or the chair leg through his abdomen. Wild times back then... wild times.

Anyhoo shoot me up with a message if you'd like to go out. I consider myself a new-age man of the most gentile-ness. So to abandon the traditional gender roles and stereotypes that have been oppressing woman for centuries, and to empower my new female companion I ask that you pay for everything for the first date... through the second year of the relationship.



XoXo

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