Recent reviews by EyeCaptain

What do you get when you mix sand, blood, spice, scrap metal and giant worms? I don’t know either, sounds gross.

Dune: Awakening is not gross. It is a video game, and it is fun.

Does that make Dune: Awakening a good game? Yes. Does it make it a great game? Also yes. Now, is it a perfect game? Stop asking stupid questions.

Every time the desert suns set, and the cool evening breeze sweeps across my shelter on a rocky outcrop, I can’t help but gaze upward at the giant whale shark in the sky that gave birth to me and whisper, “thanks Mom.”

Sure, I may occasionally find myself turned the opposite direction of my opponent whilst engaged in melee combat, or forget to block, or lose sight of my opponent altogether as my unshielded face is riddled with darts but then again, I suck.

I purchased the ultimate edition, but I’m a rich doctor so it made sense to spend an extra $20 on skins I probably won’t use and fancy windows/bookshelf decorations I definitely will use.

If you’re a poor doctor, or just poor generally, I would suggest you save the extra money to spend on student loans, or food.

You should at least get the deluxe edition though, because paying extra for things will make you more attractive, and you’ll be able to enjoy the game a few days early, which appeals to what psychologists refer to as “I can’t wait for things.”

As for which house to join, as a Hufflepuff I usually go with the proverbial good guys. The right side. Despite the political machinations and moral grayness of the Dune universe, I still wanted to align myself with the side that is obviously less evil, so that I can feel like I’m fighting for a better world, which is why I’m joining house Harkonnen.

Should you buy this game? Only I can answer that question for you: Absofruitly.

Obey me and remember this, my little dew drop: The foolish man built his house upon the sand.